English Paper: Short Read. Asking for corrections.

Coldkilla

Diamond Member
Oct 7, 2004
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Hi everyone,

I just received my first English assignment in college. It was to make a 1/2 page commentary on the syllabus given to us. I wrote my comments/questions on this sheet of paper. I was wondering if yall could comment or correct any grammar mistakes in my writing. I could go to our schools writing center, but that will take an appointment and time. This is due tomorrow morning, so I couldn't get there in time.

Here ya'ar. (Sorry if my grammar/spelling has been bad thus far lol)

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--------To begin, I believe the syllabus for English 101 was very well done. I would like to point out one or two things that I had questions on, however. To start off, what is the goal of the ?check plus? method? Would it have been more beneficial to go the traditional lettering grade method, why or why not? Also, the course description states that there is no ?preset length requirements for essays,? if it is the thought that counts, how much ?thought? will be required of students? Theoretically, couldn?t a student believe that he/she has put enough thought into an essay to say it was finished, however, corrector believes more thought could have been put into the work. How can a student better prepare his or herself to be sure that they fill that ?thought? requirement.

--------Over the last six years, our name was to be put towards the top right corner of all assignments. With the top left now being an assignment?s requirement, I as well as others may get this confused with our current habit of placing this heading incorrectly on the opposite side of the page.

--------Other than those few points, I believe the course description was well written. The idea that drafts will be read aloud (anonymously of course) during class, could really benefit the writer to she what he or she is strong in, and what the person may lack in their writing. I know when I?m writing, I cannot help but to believe that something is grammatically wrong, or something misplaced. To have my classmates openly express their thoughts on my writing, could really help me in the future. Not only will class participation and commentary towards my work help, but the commentary on our turned in work will too. Another good point lined out in the course description; I believe that if an assignment were to be turned in late, the comments on the work shouldn?t be the teachers responsibility, since it was the student?s responsibility to turn it in on time.

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Thanks for all your help!

 

Coldkilla

Diamond Member
Oct 7, 2004
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19. This is college. Yea, things have changed I guess. The teacher is young, I wouldn't doubt she tought/teaches kids too. Anyways, I know some of the things inside of the text are weard'. That's why I brought them up. I know my grammar sucks, I haven't had a good english teacher since 7th grade. And even then, he retired. The schooling system is really going down the shitter. But I cannot put all the blame into my teachers. It's my fault too. Anyways, if yall wouldn't mind giving this a read for corrections. I'd appreciate it. Thanks
 

HaxorNubcake

Golden Member
Jun 23, 2004
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is this just a casual assignment for suggestions or is it supposed to be a "formal" english paper
 

Coldkilla

Diamond Member
Oct 7, 2004
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She's collecting it and correcting it. I don't know how she work's these things. She's supposedly "preparing us" for this huge paper at the end of the year in which we give the final copy over to a committee to decide wether or not to "pass" or "fail" us. As for THIS assignment, I'm not entirely sure. As long as its gramatically correct, Im sure it's okay. The format itself, isn't too important. (I don't think)
 

HaxorNubcake

Golden Member
Jun 23, 2004
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try and go for some shorter more concise sentences. I've noticed that a couple of your sentences are blatant run on's.
 

snes tor

Banned
Sep 3, 2006
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Theoretically, couldn?t a student believe that he/she has put enough thought into an essay to say it was finished, however, corrector believes more thought could have been put into the work.

A run on


The idea that drafts will be read aloud (anonymously of course) during class, could really benefit the writer to she what he or she is strong in, and what the person may lack in their writing.

to long... just say some like "Hearing there paper aloud would give a different prespective to the quality of the work." or something.... and the teacher knows her own rules i'd take out the ( )... she should be see

The whole thing seems over punctuated. and Prespective is messed up bad... you switch from I/me/my writing skills to she/he and you refered to "thought of the students" in the first paragraph. stick with one prespective and you'll be fine...
 

Coldkilla

Diamond Member
Oct 7, 2004
3,944
0
71
I changed the perspective and tried to fix some of the run-ons:
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----------To begin, the syllabus for English 101 was very well done. Students may bring up one or two points they may have questions on, however. To start off, what is the goal of the ?check plus? method? Would it have been more beneficial to go the traditional lettering grade method, why or why not? Also, the course description states that there is no ?preset length requirements for essays,? if it is the thought that counts, how much ?thought? will be required of students? Theoretically, couldn?t a student believe that he/she has put enough thought into an essay to say it was finished? What if the person who is correcting believes more thought could have been put into the work? How can a student better prepare to be sure that they fill that ?thought? requirement?

----------Over the last six years, in many schools, the student?s name was to be put towards the top right corner of all assignments. With the top left now being an assignment?s requirement, students may get this confused with our current habit of placing this heading incorrectly on the opposite side of the page.

----------Other than those few points, the course description was well written. Hearing a student?s paper aloud would give a different perspective to the quality of the work, and this could really benefit the writer to see what area(s) they are strong in.

----------Also it shows what the person may lack in their writing. To have classmates openly express their thoughts on someone else?s writing, could really help them in the future. Not only will class participation and commentary towards a student?s work help, but the commentary on their turned in work will too. Another good point lined out in the course description; That if an assignment were to be turned in late, the comments on the work shouldn?t be the teachers responsibility, since it was the student?s responsibility to turn it in on time.

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