Engagement Ring? Something other than a Diamond?

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Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
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Ok, if I really, really can't afford a nice diamond engagement ring and don't want to go into debt over it, what else can I get?

I'm planning something special for Christmas, gonna pop the question to Thumper between Christmas and New Years, but I just don't have the money for a decent ring. :( :( :(

Is there any other kind of ring I can get that will be special, yet cost no more than about $300? (I'm broke and out of work, what can I say?)

I want to make this special, but I know she would not be happy if I just borrowed the money or put it on a credit card, so I'm trying to work with cash here.

Options?

Grasshopper
 
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notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0
I know what you mean, I'm going to be dropping about $2000 on a ring in the next couple weeks.
 
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eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
12,169
2
0
how important is a ring to her? will she be happy with a 300dollar ring?
like i know you want to pop the question and for it to be a surprise but maybe you should both sit down and talk about what kind of ring is realistic to purchase (both moneywise and what she wants..))

can you ask her to marry you without a ring? or buy her a promise ring then buy something better when you have a job?
 
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dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
One of my friends, who didn't have much money bought his wife a $5,000 engagement ring. I thought he was crazy and even crazier when he financed it. ::shakes head:: But, she had to have a big diamond and a platinum band.
rolleye.gif


I don't know if there's much you can get for $300, but if your proposal is sincere and Thumper loves you, it won't matter what you put on her finger.
 
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Atlantean

Diamond Member
May 2, 2001
5,296
1
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Quote

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Originally posted by: Atlantean
get like her birthstone or something some girls love crap like that.
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For thier birthday, not for an engagement ring.
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oh yeah oops..
 
Sealy

Sealy

Platinum Member
Aug 4, 2002
2,438
1
71
Originally posted by: Atlantean
get like her birthstone or something some girls love crap like that.
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For an engagement ring? Ah no...we don't love crap like that! It does'nt have to be an expensive diamond, but it does have to at least have a great story behind it. Why don't you go to an antique store and find a really cool antique ring. That's a bit more classy, and you don't have to spend an arm and a leg for it!:)
 
silverpig

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
Deep blue sapphires look pretty sweet... Especially if you can get a platinum or silver band.
 
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Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
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Originally posted by: eakers
how important is a ring to her?
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Well, it is and it isn't... She wants a ring far beyond my ability to afford, so that is sort of a non-issue. We were in the mall this afternoon and sheesh, did she find some nice looking rings... (yea, we stopped and looked)

Will she be happy with a 300dollar ring?
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Honestly? No. She'll pretend to be, but no, she won't... She won't hold it against me, it is in fact just a ring, but I watched her try on rings today, her taste is, well, nice... :D

like i know you want to pop the question and for it to be a surprise
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This will be the anti-surprise of the century! ;) She knows this is coming, and I don't even think at this point it is going to be a surprise in two weeks either, even if I did say I'd do it next spring. :D She knows me all too well!

but maybe you should both sit down and talk about what kind of ring is realistic to purchase (both moneywise and what she wants..))
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She knows I can't afford it, but we don't talk about money much so we haven't talked about that.

can you ask her to marry you without a ring?
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Can I? Sure, I can do anything I want... Her mother would kill me however. :D :D :D

or buy her a promise ring then buy something better when you have a job?
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What's a promise ring?

In short, Thumper will marry me, ring or no ring... It is just imporant to her so I want to do something special. Since I cannot afford what she wants, I'm looking for other options that can be special in their own way.

Grasshopper
 
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Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
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Originally posted by: dirtboy
One of my friends, who didn't have much money bought his wife a $5,000 engagement ring. I thought he was crazy and even crazier when he financed it. ::shakes head:: But, she had to have a big diamond and a platinum band.
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...

Eakers!!!

(ha, I made a funny!)

If I had a lot of money, sure I wouldn't mind doing that. I could probably finance that just fine, but we'd rather have the money for a down payment on a house. I don't have $5,000 anyway. :(

I don't know if there's much you can get for $300, but if your proposal is sincere and Thumper loves you, it won't matter what you put on her finger.
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No, in the end, it really won't matter... But since this is only gonna happen once for her and it means so much to her, I wanna make it special...

Grasshopper
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: StormRider
Why is expensive jewelry so important to girls? To me, it's just a polished rock.
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To you, yes. Have you ever seen a woman tell another woman that she has just gotten engaged? The first thing said is "look at the ring!" To shallow and materialistic women, it means pretty much what you'd expect; that the woman was able to land some rich alpha male and the ring becomes the status symbol of this. To many other women, the ring is the focal point of being able to share life experience with their friends and other women in that global emotional support system they all share. These women understand that the ring doesn't need to be a 5 carat rock, but the good romantic story is indeed important.

grasshopper26, talk to her, make sure she's clear on your finances, look at rings together to get an idea of what she likes, and pick a time, place and method to ask her that will be memorable. Good luck!
 
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Piano Man

Diamond Member
Feb 5, 2000
3,370
0
76
As long as there is no way to know whether a diamond is a blood diamond or not, my women better think again before they think diamond. Period.
 
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Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
1
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Originally posted by: Astaroth33
To you, yes. Have you ever seen a woman tell another woman that she has just gotten engaged? The first thing said is "look at the ring!"
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Exactly... ;)

It doesn't matter that to me it is just a rock, all that matters is that it matters to her...

To many other women, the ring is the focal point of being able to share life experience with their friends and other women in that global emotional support system they all share. These women understand that the ring doesn't need to be a 5 carat rock, but the good romantic story is indeed important.
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:p

grasshopper26, talk to her, make sure she's clear on your finances, look at rings together to get an idea of what she likes, and pick a time, place and method to ask her that will be memorable. Good luck!
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Yea, I kinda hinted today that the rings she looked at were, umm, a bit expensive. We had lunch and I did bring up my work situation. I told her that after the first of the year I was going to have to find work somehow, cause I can't afford to just not work. She asked me if I was going to fly again, I said probably yes, but that if she wanted to talk about it, we could.

Grasshopper
 
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brtspears2

Diamond Member
Nov 16, 2000
8,659
1
81
Personally I'd be happy if I got onion rings. But I'm a guy and ladies like the big rock to brag and moan to their lady friends.
 
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eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
12,169
2
0
imo if the ring is important to her then wait because i'm sure she won't hold it against you and whatever but if shes the kinda girl that wants to show her ring off to her friends and family and gush about it with them why not buy her something that she can show off with pride?

a promise ring is a fancy ring you get for someone to tell them you are going to marry them but its not an engagement ring.


i think your best bet would be to just talk to her about it, don't mention money just ask her what kind of engagement ring she is expecting, what she wants, if there is anything but a diamond she would like and how important it is to her. then you can get an idea of how much you will be spending and how you can cut costs and such. she already knows what she wants you just have to ask her.

you have the rest of your lives together, there is no rush on this.
 
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Steve819

Senior member
Jul 29, 2001
459
0
0
Just one person's opinion here.

Perhaps you and Thumper should discuss money and your ability to afford a nice ring. That way, perhaps a compromise can be worked out, and you can get her something that she will be proud to show to her friends. I wouldn't want to 'surprise' her with something a lot cheaper than she expected, and offering a quickie explanation like 'oh....well...I'm unemployed etc.' Of course she will say 'yes' and she won't say anything, but try to at least set an expectation level for her. I'm not saying you should go out and blow 5K or $300 bucks on a ring, but see what she wants and do some careful shopping. Ideally, do it with her, looking at rings in a price range that you have mutually agreed upon. If you cannot afford something right now in the price range that she wants, ask her about pushing the 'big' ring off, and maybe have her settle for a 'simple' one now (read: a simple band perhaps), with the promise of a nicer one later when money is saved up.

Having a discussion about money is important, as you two will be managing your finances together. You need to discuss about how to save, and retirement savings, and see how each of your perceptions towards spending and saving money are. You do not want to run into trouble down the road when you find out that your darling wife has run up 50K in debt on her credit cards, and you have thought that she was a saver and had no clue! No time like the present. Anyhow, I offer this only to help. No criticism intended.

Steve
 
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Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
1
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Originally posted by: eakers
imo if the ring is important to her then wait because i'm sure she won't hold it against you and whatever but if shes the kinda girl that wants to show her ring off to her friends and family and gush about it with them why not buy her something that she can show off with pride?
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Well, what girl *doesn't* wanna show off her engagement ring her to family and friends? ;)

As for waiting, I could, but my financial situation is not going to seriously improve by April. :(

a promise ring is a fancy ring you get for someone to tell them you are going to marry them but its not an engagement ring.
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You mean like something that I could buy for a few hundred dollars that looks nice? ;)

i think your best bet would be to just talk to her about it, don't mention money just ask her what kind of engagement ring she is expecting, what she wants, if there is anything but a diamond she would like and how important it is to her. then you can get an idea of how much you will be spending and how you can cut costs and such. she already knows what she wants you just have to ask her.
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Oh, I know what she wants, she found it today... She must have tried on a dozen rings, but she loves the first one she put on...

$3,000... Not in this lifetime... :( :( :(

;)

I must admit, she does have good taste, it did look REALLY good on her.

What's sad is that I don't have the money to pay for it, yet they would finance it for me, go figure...

you have the rest of your lives together, there is no rush on this.
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True, there isn't... But she is moving into my place in April and she won't do that unless we're "officially" engaged, her Mom would kill her if she did. ;)

Sigh...

I want to give her the moon, but I'm on a Mac & Cheese budget... :frown:

Would it be out of line to ask her Mom for a loan? One that I wouldn't have to pay back for awhile? (say until the wedding?)

Grasshopper
 
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