Engagement Question (serious!!!)

[Hallzy]

Hey people,

For those who are already engaged or married, how did you propose? How much is acceptable for a ring? is it really a 3 month rule...? that would be very costly!!

Did you ask the brides parents for permission?

Sorry for the questions, I am about to take the plunge and I guess I needed some advice.


Thanks allot guys

 

[Helpless]

My advice: Live together. ..but if you must:


1.) Try the billboard trick on a route she frequently drives; $2K on a ring is cool, in my opinion
2.) No, no permission required nowadays...not marrying them

 

[AreaCode707]

Check here There are a lot of free ideas for dates and stuff on this site and there's a book sold of creative proposals. Judging by the quality of the free ideas, the book would be worth buying. Check if Miss Manners has a website or something for questions about formality. Congrats!

 

[illusion88]

Good luck!

 

[FettsBabe]

Psycho proposed to me under the mainstreet pier in Daytona, FL (on the beach). It was a great idea. The 3 month rule is set my debeers (sp?) and tiffanys. Most girls don't care.



Do it at her favorite restaurant (in front of everyone)
On the beach
After a nice candlelight dinner at home
Send her on a "treasure" hunt by leaving hints everywhere, when she finally finds you (at a rest. etc) then you propose.

I have lots of ideas! How many do you need?

 

[rgwalt]

What is the three month rule?

Ryan

 

[Hallzy]

wow thats some great idea's

I was going to do it on new years during dine, but I was unsure if I had to ask her parents permission...

some history

Me and Lisa have been dating for 5 years next week and we don't live together.

Thanks for the help!!!

 

[vi edit]

Well, I just proposed last weekend, so I can try and answer some questions

First and foremost, what works for one person and his fiancee to be, by no means will work for another person. You just have to know what your g/f will like the most, and then cater to that.

My girlfriend hates being embarrassed in public, so doing anything fancy in a restaurant or in a public place was out of the question. What I did was have a candle light steak dinner waiting for her when she got back from a trip. After the dinner I proposed.

I never asked her parents for permission simply because they aren't the type to keep a secret and I didn't want them to blow it. This was a surprise to her.

The ring is the biggest object of debate IMHO. I really know my fiancess tastes well, so I knew what she would like. I spent about 2 months trying to find the right ring. I bought a loose diamond and then bought a ring to set it in. I didn't take any female friends along for approval. And I didn't have her with me to help pick it out.

As for what you should spend on a ring, I find any "standards" to be complete bullsh!t. There's no way I could afford 2x or 3x my monthly income. Since when did a percentage of your income become any indication of your love for another person? Buy what you can afford. If she truley loves you, then what you spent on it is a non-issue IMHO. The last thing you want to do is go into serious debt just to buy a ring. You've got the wedding to pay for yet as well as what ever else you have in the way of debts (car loans, student loans, rent, ect)

Besides, if she complains, just tell her that you'll take it back and buy computer parts with it. We'll see how bad she really wants it then

RIght now is a great time to buy a ring/diamond. Vendors are making some exceptional deals to clear out their inventory.

 

[Hallzy]

3 month rule = 3 month wages to go to the engagement ring

 

[rgwalt]

Ah, cool, thanks for the info. Now that I know what it is, I can say that the three month rule is gay.



<< Besides, if she complains, just tell her that you'll take it back and buy computer parts with it. We'll see how bad she really wants it then >>



If your woman is complaining that the ring isn't nice enough, find a new woman. If it is just plain ugly, then she can complain, but if she just wants a nicer ring or a bigger rock, then that doesn't bode well for your future.

Ryan

 

[Hallzy]

obviously, but she is not the vain.

Thanks for the help!!!

 

[vi edit]

Couple other things -

If you buy a ring without her helping you pick it out, MAKE sure you get some sort of return policy on it. Like I said earlier, I was lucky in that I knew exactly what my girlfriend liked. Many guys aren't that fortunate If you pick out something that she doesn't like, be sure that she can return it for something that she does like.

Try and get her ring size before buying. The last thing you want to happen (which did happen to me) was to buy a ring of the wrong size and have to take it away from her for a week or longer to have it resized. In addendum to the sizing, see if you get free resizings after purchase.

When buying a ring see if the seller has any sort of warranty on the craftmanship. We have to have our ring inspected every 6 months. But in turn, we have a lifetime replacement guarantee on the setting and the diamond in the event that the diamond fell out.

Make sure you insure the entire ring under your insurance company!!!!

 

[cdan]

How would you get her ring size? Aside from asking her.

 

[vi edit]

<< How would you get her ring size? Aside from asking her. >>



My g/f had another ring that she wore, so I used that as a judgement. My only problem was that her ring finger on her left hand was half a size smaller than the ring finger on her right hand. Doh!

 

[Grinchy]

Definitely ask for the parent's permission (actually her father's permission), if she is still supported by them (lives at home, they pay for school, etc). If you've been dating her for 5 years than you know him really well anyway, nothing to be afraid of. It doesn't matter if they say no, you'll ask her anyway. It does matter if they say yes - they will be your in-laws for life, good to get it started off right. If she is out of the house and independent, then its a formality that may or may not apply, you can look in your heart and see.

IMO, the cost of the ring is secondary to the 'uniqueness'. Women love to have a ring other women will grab and say 'ohhh', it's so beautiful or special or whatever. For some that is exotic tension settings, for other's its platinum, for others its a neat braiding or pairing of two rings. If you've know this woman for 5 years, you should for sure know her ring size (try her rings on your fingers, note where they stop - you got it) and also know what she likes as far as taste. If not, well, you may be in a bit of trouble getting married. She wants you to love her for her individuality, and a unique ring or special 'inside' knowledge shows her that is what you love.

I proposed at our special place, which is near Ballard Locks in Seattle, on one knee, with champagne and glasses hidden nearby. We were completely alone.

Good luck

 

[Grminalac]

goto mondera.com they have the best prices on quality diamonds. You'll get ripped to shreds if you buy from a national chain. i spent about 2400 on a rock and got a good deal, kings jewelers wanted 5200 for a similar sing.