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elfenix's 'if you can't get laid with this, you're hopeless,' dinner plan

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
elfenix's shrimp:
1 lb headless shrimp (then shell them, probably yield 3/4 of a pound shelled and headless)
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp truffle oil
1 tbsp shredded fresh basil
juice of half a lemon
1 thin sliced serrano pepper
2 cloves minced garlic
black pepper

melt the butter with the truffle oil. saute the pepper and garlic for a bit. add the shrimp and black pepper. cook until done (remember to flip). add the basil, give it a stir, add the lemon juice, another stir. then put it into a serving bowl and drain the sauce on to it, making sure you get the yummy parts unstuck off the pan.

tyler florence's mussels

4 pounds mussels
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons truffle oil
2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
4 sprigs fresh thyme
1/2 lemon, thinly sliced
3/4 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth
Serving suggestion: crusty French bread

Scrub the mussels with a vegetable brush under running water; discard any with broken shells or that remain opened when tapped. In a large pot over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons butter in the olive oil. Add the garlic, thyme, and lemon slices and cook until everything has softened, about 5 minutes. Add the mussels and stir to coat them with all the flavors. Add the wine, then the chicken broth; cover the pot and steam for 10 to 12 minutes until the mussels open. Remove the mussels from the pot. Take the meat out of 10 of the mussels and put them back into the pot along with the remaining butter. Using an immersion blender, buzz the liquid until the sauce thickens and becomes creamy; taste and adjust seasoning. Divide the remaining mussels among the serving bowls and spoon over the sauce. Serve with plenty of crusty French bread to dip in the sauce.

i used 2 lbs mussels and 1 small lemon, but kept the rest of the ingredients the same. used a very good 8 year old australian chardonnay for the wine. the sauce was just incredible.

couscous (add truffle oil instead of olive oil)
blanched green beans


anyway, if you don't get laid after this meal you are completely hopeless and will never reproduce.

pic!
 
Originally posted by: aves2k
My wife hates seafood. You lose. 😛

unfortunately, the only thing i know how to make is seafood and pb&j sandwiches, so i can't give you any tips
 
i dislike mussels, but love clam... interesting.

as per other suggestions:

watch "The Notebook" with her, and yes, its girly, but 99% you will get laid/action

MIKE
 
Originally posted by: MazerRackham
I always just bring my current bank statement to get the ladies to open up....
...their mouths to laugh heartily?
That one works for me too 😱
 
i need to learn how to cook filet mignon for her, and a LARGE JUICY, like 24oz. Prime rib, medium rare, red all over, pink in the middle.

omfg, im hungry. and i have no way to cook my own food other than a microwave. godfxckaddfdamanait

MIKE
 
Originally posted by: ElFenix
Serving suggestion: crusty French bread
You suggest good bread, but your picture features a cravenous example of "no real crust or character bullshlt bread". No sex for you! 😛

 
Originally posted by: Perknose
Originally posted by: ElFenix
Serving suggestion: crusty French bread
You suggest good bread, but your picture features a cravenous example of "no real crust or character bullshlt bread". No sex for you! 😛

thats actually organic bagette from a gourmet store... SO picked it out... i would have gone for a peasant round myself
 
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