NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the
USA and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free
world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories
including New Jersey.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please
comply with the following acts:
1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary
($75). Start spelling English words correctly.
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Declare war on Quebec and France
5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason
6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby
7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell
you their names before you eat.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced
with November 5th.
9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required
to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.
10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to
effect the change immediately.
11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your
new passport and job allocation.
12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.
13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington
Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln
Memorial.
14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead
call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
15. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated
to 1776)."
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the
USA and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free
world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories
including New Jersey.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please
comply with the following acts:
1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary
($75). Start spelling English words correctly.
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Declare war on Quebec and France
5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason
6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby
7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell
you their names before you eat.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced
with November 5th.
9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required
to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.
10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to
effect the change immediately.
11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your
new passport and job allocation.
12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.
13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington
Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln
Memorial.
14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead
call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
15. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated
to 1776)."
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