DUI Texas style

Zebo

Elite Member
Jul 29, 2001
39,398
19
81
From the county where drunk driving is almost considered a sport, comes
this true story.


Recently a routine police patrol parked
outside a bar in Austin, Texas.

After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could
barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few
minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he
tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer
night-- flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of
times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons'
vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down
the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights,
promptly pulled the man over and administered a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the
officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken.

I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I am the designated decoy.'
 

Auggie

Golden Member
Jul 18, 2003
1,379
0
0
Aye - old, but always good. And... damnit, it's wrong to laugh at drunk driving just because it ruins so many peoples' lives, but it's fracking hilarious.
 

foghorn67

Lifer
Jan 3, 2006
11,883
63
91
You screwed up the joke, he didn't get a chance to sit down.

In reality, the decoy would have still got screwed.
 

MrPickins

Diamond Member
May 24, 2003
9,125
792
126
Originally posted by: Crusty
Originally posted by: MrPickins
I could see that happening on sixth street...

Except the bars don't have parking lots....

I was picturing the one under I-35 across the street from the police station.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
thats a funny story, but why try to pass it off as real?

because starting a joke as

Hey I heard this joke....

ruins it.