drunk guy in a bar

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A

Alligator

Banned
Dec 23, 2001
332
0
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A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes
later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A
few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is
screaming about.

"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!" "I'm
just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something
comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls"

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot!
You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!.
 
K

killmeplease

Senior member
Feb 15, 2001
972
1
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It was only funny the first 100 times I heard every breed of that joke.

You owe some time back to those of us that wasted ours by reading this. ;)
 
I

incallisto

Golden Member
Apr 30, 2000
1,473
0
0
OK. Here's one:

This rope goes into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve no ropes around here! BEAT IT" The rope leaves, goes into an alley where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his "ends". He returns to the bar and the bartender repeats his previous statement, "Get the heck out of here! We don't serve ropes!!!!" The ropes replies, "I'm not a rope! I'm a frayed knot!"
 
D

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0


<< OK. Here's one:

This rope goes into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve no ropes around here! BEAT IT" The rope leaves, goes into an alley where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his "ends". He returns to the bar and the bartender repeats his previous statement, "Get the heck out of here! We don't serve ropes!!!!" The ropes replies, "I'm not a rope! I'm a frayed knot!" >>



You dork, you messed up the punch line. the bartender says "Hey aren't you that rope who was in here a minute ago?" the rope looks him square in the eye and says "Nope, 'fraid knot"....


A man walks into a bar and notices that there are several very fine pieces of beef hanging from the ceiling. he walks up to the bartender orders a drink and asks the obvious question. The bartender says "Well that's a game we play. If you can jump up and pull down some meat you drink for free all night." The man says "wow that's a pretty good deal,... what if I miss?"
"Well,..." the bartender says "if you miss you have to buy everybody a round... wann try it?"

The man thinks it over for a moment then replies "Nah, steaks are to high."

 
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