Driver's quiz (it's funny, so participation is mandatory)

[Thegonagle]

Yes, it's for Minnesotans, but the next time you visit, you'll be prepared.

Driver's quiz: When to stop and when to go
Bill McAuliffe, Star Tribune

Published April 26, 2003

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration -- and seemingly everyone we talk to -- Minnesota drivers may be the least courteous, least attentive and most aggressive in the nation. And they're lousy at merging.

Part of the reason, we believe, is that most Minnesotans' driving skills get tested only once in their lives.

We can't offer a road test here, but in the interest of safer and more courteous byways, we present "Who Knows Who Goes," a self-exam aimed at urban traffic situations.

But remember, since this is Minnesota and we don't want anyone to fail, there are no wrong answers!

Also, if you're driving right now, simply circle your answers with the hand that's not holding the cell phone.

• 1. Green means:
  • 
    a) Stop.
    b) Go.
    c) Don't know/no opinion.
    d) Wellstone!
  2. Red means:
  • 
    a) Stop.
    b) Go.
    c) Don't know/no opinion.
    d) Hot.
  3. When I drive in the Twin Cities, most of my time is spent:
  • 
    a) Eating.
    b) Beautifying.
    c) Reading the paper/cramming.
    d) Idling at stoplights where there's no cross traffic.
  4. Traffic congestion is:
  • 
    a) The result of all those other people on the road.
    b) A form of "traffic calming," therefore a social good.
    c) A sign of a good economy, therefore a social good.
    e) Social engineering designed to support talk radio.
  5. To turn left at a traffic light, I:
  • 
    a) Wait until everyone else has gone home.
    b) Wouldn't dream of pulling forward into the intersection.
    c) Wait, then give up, go straight one block and turn right three times through the neighborhood.
    d) Pretend I have a left turn arrow and shoot through, scattering oncoming traffic.
  6. To turn right, I:
  • 
    a) Make sure I "touch base" with the curb.
    b) Swing left, then turn sharply right, just like the big rigs.
    c) Focus on the hood ornament, not the bicyclist on the right.
    d) Focus on the bicyclist on the right, and try to persuade him/her to turn with me.
  7. Turn signals are:
  • 
    a) Confusing.
    b) Pretty.
    c) Too much trouble.
    d) Dumb. Everybody knows where I turn.
  8. I use my high beams and fog lights at all times:
  • 
    a) To increase my self-esteem.
    b) Because I can.
    c) To kill mosquitoes.
    d) Because I wear my sunglasses at night.
  9. Traffic behind me:
  • 
    a) Is a camera trick.
    b) Is in the "loser" lane.
    c) Will miss out on the Rapture.
    d) Is best ignored.
  10. When overtaking another vehicle, I:
  • 
    a) Don't really overtake it. I just pull up really fast and then follow for miles.
    b) Pull alongside and match speeds, because overtaking is rude.
    c) Pull in front of it, then slow way down for a fun game of leapfrog.
    d) Give it a little spray of windshield washer as a "thank you."
  11. When being overtaken, I:
  • 
    a) Speed up. They'll never take me!
    b) Drift toward the passer's lane.
    c) Squeeze the steering wheel even harder.
    d) Make another phone call.
  12. The new pedestrian crosswalk law requires drivers to:
  • 
    a) Stop for pedestrians at intersections, unless a traffic light is allowing traffic through.
    b) Stop for clouds shaped like pedestrians.
    c) Stop for squirrels.
    d) I have no idea.
  13: The new pedestrian crosswalk law requires pedestrians to:
  • 
    a) Make the right turn on red extinct once and for all.
    b) Make the right turn on green extinct once and for all.
    c) Ignore Mom's advice to look both ways.
    d) Walk really, really slow.
  14: A left turn on red is:
  • 
    a) Permissible in some backward nations.
    b) The work of the devil.
    c) Preventable with plastic and duct tape.
    d) Permissible where some one-way streets intersect.
  15. At a four-way stop, I:
  • 
    a) Stop and wait for other cars to pile up at the intersection.
    b) Sweat.
    c) Apologize.
    d) Repeat.
  16. At a four-way stop, the right of way goes to:
  • 
    a) The driver who clearly got there first, or is on the right.
    b) The police, when they arrive.
    c) The driver who moved to Minnesota most recently.
    d) The only driver not waving the others through.
  17. When another driver lets me pull out of a driveway into a line of traffic, I repay the courtesy by:
  • 
    a) Tossing a lighted cigarette butt at their bumper.
    b) Blocking them while I wait to turn the opposite direction.
    c) Stopping to parallel park, then bungling several attempts.
    d) Double-parking while I return the video.
  18: "Synchronized" traffic signals:
  • 
    a) Turn green as I approach each one.
    b) Stop the most cars so the fewest can cross.
    c) Turn green a block ahead while I'm stopped at a red.
    d) Make all the toasters in the neighborhood pop at once.
  19: If I knew I could lead a line of vehicles through a series of green lights by driving 30 miles per hour, I would:
  • 
    a) Drive 25 mph.
    b) Drive 24 mph.
    c) Drive 23 mph.
    d) Drive 47 mph.
  20: I can get my driver's license renewed at:
  • 
    a) The Target automotive department.
    b) Any ATM.
    c) Twins Pro shops.
    d) Kinko's.

 

[illusion88]

10. When overtaking another vehicle, I:

a) Don't really overtake it. I just pull up really fast and then follow for miles.
b) Pull alongside and match speeds, because overtaking is rude.
c) Pull in front of it, then slow way down for a fun game of leapfrog.
d) Give it a little spray of windshield washer as a "thank you."

That just made me laugh for some reason... haha

 

[trilks]

Being a resident of Minneapolis, this quiz is amusingly accurate. Can we please outlaw cell phones while driving? Hate them so....much... :beer:

 

[nd]

Ok, I don't think any of that stuff about Minnesota specifically is really warranted. This was from the Star Tribune, so this is probably just a case of "haha, my state is so bada$$"!!, with no real factual basis.

I thought the driver test standards for Minnesota were fairly high. When I went to high school in Georgia, everyone passed their driver's test the first time around. The actual road test was just a trip around the block basically. When I went to high school in Minnesota, I frequently heard of people having to retake the test 2 or 3 times before they passed. Driver's Ed was required in Minnesota, where it was not a requirement in Georgia, too. So either Minnesotans are inherently bad drivers who suck so badly that they fail the tests, or (more likely) the tests are more strict in Minnesota.

People in Georgia sure drive faster though in my experience. On the interstates there, people would keep up with you going 85+ mph. Certainly not the case in Minnesota/Wisconsin.

(yeah, I realize all this is anecdotal of course)

 

[Krakerjak]

When being overtaken, I...

b) Drift toward the passer's lane

lmao

 

[GroundZero]

1. Green means:

a) Stop.
b) Go.
c) Don't know/no opinion.
X) Wellstone! X


2. Red means:

a) Stop.
b) Go.
c) Don't know/no opinion.
X) Hot. X


3. When I drive in the Twin Cities, most of my time is spent:

a) Eating.
b) Beautifying.
c) Reading the paper/cramming.
X) Idling at stoplights where there's no cross traffic. X


4. Traffic congestion is:

a) The result of all those other people on the road.
b) A form of "traffic calming," therefore a social good.
c) A sign of a good economy, therefore a social good.
X) Social engineering designed to support talk radio. X


5. To turn left at a traffic light, I:

a) Wait until everyone else has gone home.
b) Wouldn't dream of pulling forward into the intersection.
c) Wait, then give up, go straight one block and turn right three times through the neighborhood.
X) Pretend I have a left turn arrow and shoot through, scattering oncoming traffic.X

6. To turn right, I:

a) Make sure I "touch base" with the curb.
b) Swing left, then turn sharply right, just like the big rigs.
c) Focus on the hood ornament, not the bicyclist on the right.
d) Focus on the bicyclist on the right, and try to persuade him/her to turn with me.
X)Focus on the hood ornament, then on the bicyclist on the right, making sure he "touches base" with the curb, and not just the bicyclist on the right

7. Turn signals are:

a) Confusing.
X) Pretty USELESS IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THEM!X
c) Too much trouble.
d) Dumb. Everybody knows where I turn.


8. I use my high beams and fog lights at all times:

a) To increase my self-esteem.
b) Because I can.
c) To kill mosquitoes.
X) Because I wear my sunglasses at night while i'm killing mosquitosX.


9. Traffic behind me:

a) Is a camera trick.
b) Is in the "loser" lane.
c) Will miss out on the Rapture.
X) Is best ignored. just worry about the ones ahead of you X


10. When overtaking another vehicle, I:

a) Don't really overtake it. I just pull up really fast and then follow for miles.
b) Pull alongside and match speeds, because overtaking is rude.
c) Pull in front of it, then slow way down for a fun game of leapfrog.
d) Give it a little spray of windshield washer as a "thank you."
X) They better pull over and run or get the hell out of the way X

11. When being overtaken, I:

X) Speed up. They'll never take me ALIVE! X
b) Drift toward the passer's lane.
c) Squeeze the steering wheel even harder.
d) Make another phone call.


12. The new pedestrian crosswalk law requires drivers to:

a) Stop for pedestrians at intersections, unless a traffic light is allowing traffic through.
b) Stop for clouds shaped like pedestrians.
c) Stop for squirrels.
d) I have no idea.
X) REFER TO ANSWER TO QUESTION 6 X

13: The new pedestrian crosswalk law requires pedestrians to:

a) Make the right turn on red extinct once and for all.
b) Make the right turn on green extinct once and for all.
c) Ignore Mom's advice to look both ways.
d) Walk really, really slow.
X) RUN CHILDREN RUN!!! X
14: A left turn on red is:

a) Permissible in some backward nations.
b) The work of the devil.
c) Preventable with plastic and duct tape.
X) Permissible where some one-way streets intersect. X was in Seattle today and i like that one X


15. At a four-way stop, I:

a) Stop and wait for other cars to pile up at the intersection.
b) Sweat.
c) Apologize.
d) Repeat.
X) Screw it if none of you other idiots don't know the proper etiquit for a 4 way stop then bite me i'm going! X

16. At a four-way stop, the right of way goes to:

X) The driver who clearly got there first, or is on the right. X hence the term right of way iirc X refer to question 15
b) The police, when they arrive.
c) The driver who moved to Minnesota most recently.
d) The only driver not waving the others through.


17. When another driver lets me pull out of a driveway into a line of traffic, I repay the courtesy by:

a) Tossing a lighted cigarette butt at their bumper.
b) Blocking them while I wait to turn the opposite direction.
c) Stopping to parallel park, then bungling several attempts.
d) Double-parking while I return the video.
X PEACE LOVE AND HAPPINESS BROTHER MAN X

18: "Synchronized" traffic signals:

a) Turn green as I approach each one.
b) Stop the most cars so the fewest can cross.
c) Turn green a block ahead while I'm stopped at a red.
d) Make all the toasters in the neighborhood pop at once.
X) Traffic signals? what are they? X

19: If I knew I could lead a line of vehicles through a series of green lights by driving 30 miles per hour, I would:

a) Drive 25 mph.
b) Drive 24 mph.
c) Drive 23 mph.
d) Drive 47 mph.
X) Just increase your speed by the number of lights you have to make it through. i.e. 3 lights x 30 mph X

20: I can get my driver's license renewed at:

a) The Target automotive department.
b) Any ATM.
c) Twins Pro shops.
d) Kinko's.
X) WALLMART? X

 

[hawkeye81x]

Nice post.

Enjoyed the turning right option four.
when turning right I focus on the bicylist and convince him/her to turn with me.

 

[GroundZero]

come on people take the test