- Aug 10, 2001
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Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, dad, you're drunk!"
AND
A store clerk tells the woman that he can't give her a refund because she bought the item on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The clerk, not knowing what to do, goes to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the woman and asks if he can help her. She explains that she would like a refund because the toaster she bought doesn't work. He replies by telling her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The store manager asks her, "Why are you saying that?"
The woman replies, "Because I like to have my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"[/i] >>
AND
The Bed Time Prayer For Guys
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray for a woman, who's very cheap.
One who's sexy, blonde and long.
Who notices that she's mostly wrong.
One who sucks and doesn't speak.
And promises to do so, once a week.
I pray that she is very randy,
'Cause one like that would come in handy.
Opens her leg and lies on the floor,
And once I'm done, she begs for more.
Oh, send me a woman who will not play with my mind.
Who knows what she wants and that's lots from behind!
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
And brings ME a beer, when she comes from the kitchen!
I pray that she'll last right up to the end,
And would never complain when I do her best friend.
Thanks in advance and you know I can't wait,
so I'll screw all the rest 'cause it's never too late.
Amen.
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, dad, you're drunk!"
AND
A store clerk tells the woman that he can't give her a refund because she bought the item on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The clerk, not knowing what to do, goes to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the woman and asks if he can help her. She explains that she would like a refund because the toaster she bought doesn't work. He replies by telling her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The store manager asks her, "Why are you saying that?"
The woman replies, "Because I like to have my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"[/i] >>
AND
The Bed Time Prayer For Guys
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray for a woman, who's very cheap.
One who's sexy, blonde and long.
Who notices that she's mostly wrong.
One who sucks and doesn't speak.
And promises to do so, once a week.
I pray that she is very randy,
'Cause one like that would come in handy.
Opens her leg and lies on the floor,
And once I'm done, she begs for more.
Oh, send me a woman who will not play with my mind.
Who knows what she wants and that's lots from behind!
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
And brings ME a beer, when she comes from the kitchen!
I pray that she'll last right up to the end,
And would never complain when I do her best friend.
Thanks in advance and you know I can't wait,
so I'll screw all the rest 'cause it's never too late.
Amen.
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