Dont have Children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thread starter Bigdude
- Start date
<< Read this first, and you will never have Children!!!!!!!
How this Country Rapes Fathers!!!!!!!! >>
While extreme, it is very true.
I had a brutal time wrestling primary custody from my son's mother, in a small southern court to top it off. But I won, he lives here now, has a stable, loving, secure life, and SHE pays me child support!
Wo0t!
No I think you got it wrong....
The moral is don't marry the wrong person, have kids and then get divorced.
Once you have kids you whole life changes. Kids are great
The moral is don't marry the wrong person, have kids and then get divorced.
Once you have kids you whole life changes. Kids are great
I haven't figured out yet if I should waste my breath by trying to offer a more balanced opinion on the custody/support issue again or not.
Congrats on getting custody of your son, SuperSix. I do realize that in many places, the courts automatically assume that the kids are better off with mom; it shows how much you love them that you fought so hard to get custody of yours. I'm glad you had an enlightened judge that even ordered her to pay support.
Congrats on getting custody of your son, SuperSix. I do realize that in many places, the courts automatically assume that the kids are better off with mom; it shows how much you love them that you fought so hard to get custody of yours. I'm glad you had an enlightened judge that even ordered her to pay support.
It always seems as though the whole "custody" thing is just a way(usually)for the mother to "get back" at the father, by keeping his kids from him, ....etc.....
oh, wait....
<< Dont have Children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >>
Ok......wait.....what about uh... the...uh... PROCESS... of uh... making.. them...... does that count??
zs
oh, wait....
<< Dont have Children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >>
Ok......wait.....what about uh... the...uh... PROCESS... of uh... making.. them...... does that count??
zs
I didnt think that this article is extreme at all. Everything stated there is true, from my experience. It would take to long to tell the whole story, but my wife has no business having custody of my daughter. She is dating a sex offender (child protection now has proof of this), she leaves my daughter alone with him. I talked to her about it (the ex) and said, why would you leave our beautiful little 8 yr old daughter alone with this guy who just raped his own 12 yr old daughter? Her reply was, been there, done that, wrote the book, got the shirt. What ever that means. My ex's other two boys 20 and 13 have nothing to do with her, both saying that they hate her. My 8 yr old has been through 3 different drug raids by the sheriffs department. My ex is drunk and stoned all the time, physically fighting with her bf in front of my daughter. My daughter said, in front of my whole family at the dinner table, "my mom has butt sex with Gary." I am like WHAT? Why would you say that? My daughter "Well mom is naked and laying on her stomach and Gary is on top of her from behind, mom screams and stuff." I said how do you know that? My daughter "I sleep in the same bed with them." So, my ex has sex with her "men" in the same bed that my daughter is in!!! My ex cant keep a job, doesnt have a car, is homeless 75% of the time, a drug addict, a drunk. Child Protection has been called over 50 times with complaints about how my daughter is being treated. I have my hands tied, I cant afford, or in no way can come up with the $5000 that a lawyer wants to represent my daughter and myself in a custody battle. I pray every night that God keeps my daughter safe. I am looking for ways to raise $5k if anyone has any ideas. I have poor credit, mostly from my divorce. It was easy to ruin my credit but hard to get back on track. I have a good job and a two bedroom house, I am drug and alchohol free and have a stable life. My daughter would have a much nicer life with me. She wants to live with me but her mother says no way. I pay my ex $500 a month in child support, that is her drug and party money, she couldnt do without that.
<< I didnt think that this article is extreme at all. Everything stated there is true, from my experience. It would take to long to tell the whole story, but my wife has no business having custody of my daughter. She is dating a sex offender (child protection now has proof of this), she leaves my daughter alone with him. I talked to her about it (the ex) and said, why would you leave our beautiful little 8 yr old daughter alone with this guy who just raped his own 12 yr old daughter? Her reply was, been there, done that, wrote the book, got the shirt. What ever that means. My ex's other two boys 20 and 13 have nothing to do with her, both saying that they hate her. My 8 yr old has been through 3 different drug raids by the sheriffs department. My ex is drunk and stoned all the time, physically fighting with her bf in front of my daughter. My daughter said, in front of my whole family at the dinner table, "my mom has butt sex with Gary." I am like WHAT? Why would you say that? My daughter "Well mom is naked and laying on her stomach and Gary is on top of her from behind, mom screams and stuff." I said how do you know that? My daughter "I sleep in the same bed with them." So, my ex has sex with her "men" in the same bed that my daughter is in!!! My ex cant keep a job, doesnt have a car, is homeless 75% of the time, a drug addict, a drunk. Child Protection has been called over 50 times with complaints about how my daughter is being treated. I have my hands tied, I cant afford, or in no way can come up with the $5000 that a lawyer wants to represent my daughter and myself in a custody battle. I pray every night that God keeps my daughter safe. I am looking for ways to raise $5k if anyone has any ideas. I have poor credit, mostly from my divorce. It was easy to ruin my credit but hard to get back on track. I have a good job and a two bedroom house, I am drug and alchohol free and have a stable life. My daughter would have a much nicer life with me. She wants to live with me but her mother says no way. I pay my ex $500 a month in child support, that is her drug and party money, she couldnt do without that. >>
Dude..........that's totally whack...... but so true of the legal system........
To the legal system: :disgust:
SH!TMonkeys!:|
zs
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
<< It always seems as though the whole "custody" thing is just a way(usually)for the mother to "get back" at the father, by keeping his kids from him, ....etc..... >>
:|Don't even get me started.:| I wrote the damn book, with my own blood, using the bloodied stump of my index finger as pen on this subject.
The whole statement of "DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!" has nothing to do w/marriage. Marriage does not have to result in children. In fact, I sort of admire the few DINK couples I know. Do you know what "DINK" means? It means:
Dual Income, No Kids. Someday, if I can ever manage to settle down, that is what I want.
Maybe I am bitter and emotionally scarred from my ongoing living hell I endure with the situation with my son, but I look at it this way. If you are married and the marriage ends, it's messy and costly enough without involving emotionally fragile children. You don't have to look them in face and try to stumble thru an answer to "why don't you and Mommy love each other any more?" They don't understand; they're just children.
If the marriage ends, you get the truck, she gets the furniture and you never have to stare at each other's ugly mugs again. But w/kids involved, someone will always have "the edge." Something to torment you with. Something to keep you under their thumb with.
Having children is not about bringing new life into this world. Having children is about TRUSTING your partner enough that he/she will not rend your world asunder should things turn sour. From what I've seen, nobody is trustable in that aspect.
To be fair, I do know a few men and women who are divorced and they maintain a civil relationship, for the kid's sake. I don't know many though.
Sorry about the rant. I never intended to type this much, but I type fast and this is my favorite soapbox subject.
ps
There's a big difference b/t a DEADBEAT Dad and a Dad being taken to the cleaners, screwed sans Vasoline and then tormented for the rest of his life.
I love my son dearly, and would gladly give my life for him.but he is the worst thing that ever happened to me. If you don't understand that statement, don't flame me, b/c you do not walk in my shoes.
One of the many reasons why I won't get married.
Heck, I won't even donate sperm. The courts these days are supporting women who want to track down sperm donors for child support!
Heck, I won't even donate sperm. The courts these days are supporting women who want to track down sperm donors for child support!
I'm divorced and I have children. My wife is divorced and she has children. We both have joint custody of our children. It's all in who you marry and how you handle the divorce. I agree the courts are against fathers, but more often than not it's the mother's lawyer taking advantage of archaic laws and practices. But, believe me, having my children in my life is worth all the headaches and bullsh*t you could dish up!
sysadmin I'm so sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through. That is wrong and you should not stop trying until you get some legal aid. There is pro bono help out there. Try your church, county offices, states attorney's office, childrens crisis centers, etc. But please don't give up, there has to be a way out for your daughter.
<<I cant afford, or in no way can come up with the $5000 that a lawyer wants to represent my daughter and myself in a custody battle. >>
I think this statement says buckets about how much value your daughter has to you. *shrug* I don't consider $5000 that much money, something you could work off in a few months with a second or third job, might have to sacrifice some sleep and fun but I guess your daughter isn't worth the sacrifice on your part is she?
I think this statement says buckets about how much value your daughter has to you. *shrug* I don't consider $5000 that much money, something you could work off in a few months with a second or third job, might have to sacrifice some sleep and fun but I guess your daughter isn't worth the sacrifice on your part is she?
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
<< I think this statement says buckets about how much value your daughter has to you. *shrug* I don't consider $5000 that much money, something you could work off in a few months with a second or third job, might have to sacrifice some sleep and fun but I guess your daughter isn't worth the sacrifice on your part is she? >>
That is the most closed-minded statement I've read in quite awhile. Tell me, do you work a second or a third job? I'm curious. I work 100-120-hour weeks that sometimes span all seven days of the week. I haven't had a vacation in 8 years. I work a second job b/c I pay my child support.
And guess what? I CAN'T COME UP WITH $5K to get my son away from his White-Trash mom, so he can be raised in a proper environment! That makes me a bad person? You have much to learn.
ps
And oh yeah, I sacrifice plenty of fun and sleep. I work the second job not only to make up for the money I pay in child support, but so I can have money to do things w/my son when I have him. Fun costs money, you know. Chucke Cheese costs money. Harry Potter movies and sunglasses cost money. Gasoline to drive 50 miles EACH way to get him cost money. Get a clue, we're all not made of money.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
- 0
- 56
Yep, my loon ex wife tried to sneak out of the US with our daughter & become a Brit, $20,000 later I have custody & she pays me child support & she's spent 3 days & 2 nights in jail.
The jail time was great, she keeps hiring gullible attnys & feeds them crap, I show up in court with a file cabinet of documentation & a child that went from being on in school suspension to gifted & talented programs for 4 years now, (she's 12 & has spent 2 months in gifted summer camps, just signed her up for a 3 week long residential summer math camp & the child is thrilled) The last hearing where the ex was thrown in jail was classic, the judge just stopped the hearing, & said, "Maam, I don't care about any of that, you're going to jail till you pay his legal fees, the back child support, court costs, and contempt fines."
In TX only 1% of disputed custody cases are awarded to fathers (where the child is under the age of 10) After age 10, the child has significant input about who they'd like to live with.
Thank god I had the $20,000 to invest in the court battles.
It's been 3 years now, and despite multiple tries on my part, I cannot have a conversation with the woman on the phone, she just starts to swear & goes OT...
I've also noticed that every time custody is changed, the courts allow the woman to collert child support for 3-6 months after the hearing that awards physical custody to a man. There's no specific legislation to that effect in TX, but I suspect the family court judges have decided to do this on their own.
The jail time was great, she keeps hiring gullible attnys & feeds them crap, I show up in court with a file cabinet of documentation & a child that went from being on in school suspension to gifted & talented programs for 4 years now, (she's 12 & has spent 2 months in gifted summer camps, just signed her up for a 3 week long residential summer math camp & the child is thrilled
) The last hearing where the ex was thrown in jail was classic, the judge just stopped the hearing, & said, "Maam, I don't care about any of that, you're going to jail till you pay his legal fees, the back child support, court costs, and contempt fines."In TX only 1% of disputed custody cases are awarded to fathers (where the child is under the age of 10) After age 10, the child has significant input about who they'd like to live with.
Thank god I had the $20,000 to invest in the court battles.
It's been 3 years now, and despite multiple tries on my part, I cannot have a conversation with the woman on the phone, she just starts to swear & goes OT...
I've also noticed that every time custody is changed, the courts allow the woman to collert child support for 3-6 months after the hearing that awards physical custody to a man. There's no specific legislation to that effect in TX, but I suspect the family court judges have decided to do this on their own.
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
<< It's been 3 years now, and despite multiple tries on my part, I cannot have a conversation with the woman on the phone, she just starts to swear & goes OT... >>
Same here, but it's been 6 years for me. PliableMoose is a great guy I've had many PM conversations with. His story is classic. I'm very happy that it turned out well for his daughter and BAD for the contemptuous mom who tried so hard to drive Pliable out of his mind. Every once in awhile, the The Little Guy wins. Bravo!
From the article:
<< The plunder of fathers invariably begins with the taking of their children. Despite formal legal equality between parents, some 85-90% of custody awards go to mothers. >>
While those numbers are close (slightly exaggerated), this is because most of the time men do not seek custody. Some 75-80% of the time when a man seeks custody of his children, he wins.
As far as taking custody of the kids to get back at the other person, women aren't the only people who do this (and I'm willing to bet that most of the time they are not just being vindictive).
My best friend's mother and father got divorced, largely because he's always been an ass to the kids, he's never had or wanted a relationship with them, and he has even been violent towards them on a few occasions (i.e. an argument over how a chore should be done results in him throwing a chair at one of the girls)...he actually spent the night in jail for that once. Of course, he is convinced that he has done nothing wrong and he can't understand what the problem is.
Anyway, he was threatening to seek custody of the kids when her mother was having the farm assessed so that she could claim her half.
His family even accused her of being a gold digger, which is hilarious because when she met him he didn't own anything, his goal in life was to never have an income so he wouldn't have to pay taxes to the government. They started a farm together, and she did at least as much work as he did, plus she raised the kids and cooked and cleaned, and the kids did a damn lot of work too.
Anyway, as you can see, the steriotype of the manipulative woman taking the kids and divorcing a guy just to take all his money is pretty outrageous to me. Sure it happens on a few occasions, but that is most certainly the exception, not the rule.
<< The plunder of fathers invariably begins with the taking of their children. Despite formal legal equality between parents, some 85-90% of custody awards go to mothers. >>
While those numbers are close (slightly exaggerated), this is because most of the time men do not seek custody. Some 75-80% of the time when a man seeks custody of his children, he wins.
As far as taking custody of the kids to get back at the other person, women aren't the only people who do this (and I'm willing to bet that most of the time they are not just being vindictive).
My best friend's mother and father got divorced, largely because he's always been an ass to the kids, he's never had or wanted a relationship with them, and he has even been violent towards them on a few occasions (i.e. an argument over how a chore should be done results in him throwing a chair at one of the girls)...he actually spent the night in jail for that once. Of course, he is convinced that he has done nothing wrong and he can't understand what the problem is.
Anyway, he was threatening to seek custody of the kids when her mother was having the farm assessed so that she could claim her half.
His family even accused her of being a gold digger, which is hilarious because when she met him he didn't own anything, his goal in life was to never have an income so he wouldn't have to pay taxes to the government. They started a farm together, and she did at least as much work as he did, plus she raised the kids and cooked and cleaned, and the kids did a damn lot of work too.
Anyway, as you can see, the steriotype of the manipulative woman taking the kids and divorcing a guy just to take all his money is pretty outrageous to me. Sure it happens on a few occasions, but that is most certainly the exception, not the rule.
From the sounds of you, some of you guys ended up with some pretty cold hearted women, I am sorry to hear that. I know if my husband and I ever split up, I would never keep our children from him. That would only serve to hurt the kids in the end, as he is a wonderful father.
I know if my husband and I ever split up, I would never keep our children from him. That would only serve to hurt the kids in the end, as he is a wonderful father.<< From the sounds of you, some of you guys ended up with some pretty cold hearted women, I am sorry to hear that.
I know if my husband and I ever split up, I would never keep our children from him. That would only serve to hurt the kids in the end, as he is a wonderful father. >>one can only hope us youngin's will find someone as rational as you. unfortunately, that seems to be a rarity....
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
<< From the sounds of you, some of you guys ended up with some pretty cold hearted women, I am sorry to hear that.
I know if my husband and I ever split up, I would never keep our children from him. That would only serve to hurt the kids in the end, as he is a wonderful father. >>Hi GirlFriday,
You and I have some nice chats. You've been a bud to me on several occasions.
Now, I'm not doubting you, but; when the relationship is warm and fuzzy people say "Oh, I'd never do that. When the relationship sours, badly, things can and do change. I never thought that the woman who "loved me so much" would have me removed from OUR apartment...and then keep the furniture that I bought with my own money for our apartment.
I also never thought that a woman who started out being a semi-decent (good intentions....extremely poor execution) mother would turn out to be a white-trash, no-discipling, let-my-kid-run-wild, no-idea-where-he-is, tell him his father is trash and then not let said father see his son, type of person.
Now, I'm NOT saying you are like this. No way. What I am saying is people change. Anger and resentment can, do and will twist your mind. Please accept my apologies in advance if this offends you in any way. We're just talking, OK?
<< I didnt think that this article is extreme at all. Everything stated there is true, from my experience. It would take to long to tell the whole story, but my wife has no business having custody of my daughter. She is dating a sex offender (child protection now has proof of this), she leaves my daughter alone with him. I talked to her about it (the ex) and said, why would you leave our beautiful little 8 yr old daughter alone with this guy who just raped his own 12 yr old daughter? Her reply was, been there, done that, wrote the book, got the shirt. What ever that means. My ex's other two boys 20 and 13 have nothing to do with her, both saying that they hate her. My 8 yr old has been through 3 different drug raids by the sheriffs department. My ex is drunk and stoned all the time, physically fighting with her bf in front of my daughter. My daughter said, in front of my whole family at the dinner table, "my mom has butt sex with Gary." I am like WHAT? Why would you say that? My daughter "Well mom is naked and laying on her stomach and Gary is on top of her from behind, mom screams and stuff." I said how do you know that? My daughter "I sleep in the same bed with them." So, my ex has sex with her "men" in the same bed that my daughter is in!!! My ex cant keep a job, doesnt have a car, is homeless 75% of the time, a drug addict, a drunk. Child Protection has been called over 50 times with complaints about how my daughter is being treated. I have my hands tied, I cant afford, or in no way can come up with the $5000 that a lawyer wants to represent my daughter and myself in a custody battle. I pray every night that God keeps my daughter safe. I am looking for ways to raise $5k if anyone has any ideas. I have poor credit, mostly from my divorce. It was easy to ruin my credit but hard to get back on track. I have a good job and a two bedroom house, I am drug and alchohol free and have a stable life. My daughter would have a much nicer life with me. She wants to live with me but her mother says no way. I pay my ex $500 a month in child support, that is her drug and party money, she couldnt do without that. >>
Oh my god, this is one of the worst situations I have ever heard. You really need to come up with whatever it takes to get your daughter back, she is being scarred for life right now.
Sell your car or something, work at a new job, take out loans...anything.
<< I didnt think that this article is extreme at all. Everything stated there is true, from my experience. It would take to long to tell the whole story, but my wife has no business having custody of my daughter. She is dating a sex offender (child protection now has proof of this), she leaves my daughter alone with him. I talked to her about it (the ex) and said, why would you leave our beautiful little 8 yr old daughter alone with this guy who just raped his own 12 yr old daughter? Her reply was, been there, done that, wrote the book, got the shirt. What ever that means. My ex's other two boys 20 and 13 have nothing to do with her, both saying that they hate her. My 8 yr old has been through 3 different drug raids by the sheriffs department. My ex is drunk and stoned all the time, physically fighting with her bf in front of my daughter. My daughter said, in front of my whole family at the dinner table, "my mom has butt sex with Gary." I am like WHAT? Why would you say that? My daughter "Well mom is naked and laying on her stomach and Gary is on top of her from behind, mom screams and stuff." I said how do you know that? My daughter "I sleep in the same bed with them." So, my ex has sex with her "men" in the same bed that my daughter is in!!! My ex cant keep a job, doesnt have a car, is homeless 75% of the time, a drug addict, a drunk. Child Protection has been called over 50 times with complaints about how my daughter is being treated. I have my hands tied, I cant afford, or in no way can come up with the $5000 that a lawyer wants to represent my daughter and myself in a custody battle. I pray every night that God keeps my daughter safe. I am looking for ways to raise $5k if anyone has any ideas. I have poor credit, mostly from my divorce. It was easy to ruin my credit but hard to get back on track. I have a good job and a two bedroom house, I am drug and alchohol free and have a stable life. My daughter would have a much nicer life with me. She wants to live with me but her mother says no way. I pay my ex $500 a month in child support, that is her drug and party money, she couldnt do without that. >>
OH MY F*ING GOD, that pisses me off! i've long thought that CPS should have a paramilitary branch....
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