Doing a research paper on Goodfellas and the Italian Mafia. How does my thesis look?

[Shawn]

I already wrote about 5 pages when my teacher told me that my thesis was not strong enough and that I would have to change it. I came up with a new thesis and want to know if it seems strong enough.

The movie Goodfellas shows how the Italian Mafia is romanticized in popular culture today and reveals how the Italian Mafia is not as wonderful as it seems.

How does that sound? 😕

 

[compuwiz1]

What kind of a thesis can you make out of a movie, where FSCK is every other word? 😉

 

[K1052]

I'm funnny how?
Funny like a clown?
I amuse you?

 

[Shawn]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
What kind of a thesis can you make out of a movie, where FSCK is every other word? 😉

Yeah, this research paper has been a pain in the ass so far. Good movie though.

 

[rubix]

why would you want to write a research paper on a bunch of humble plumbers and furniture movers?

 

[jumpr]

I think "shows" is a weak word. Your thesis sounds too formulaic. I'm guessing that it doesn't fit into the style of the rest of the paper.

 

[compuwiz1]

Originally posted by: rubix
why would you want to write a research paper on a bunch of humble plumbers and furniture movers?

You forgot about the garbage collectors. 🙂

 

[Shawn]

Originally posted by: jumpr
I think "shows" is a weak word. Your thesis sounds too formulaic. I'm guessing that it doesn't fit into the style of the rest of the paper.

What do you mean? This is an informal research paper anyway.

 

[jumpr]

Originally posted by: Shawn

Originally posted by: jumpr
I think "shows" is a weak word. Your thesis sounds too formulaic. I'm guessing that it doesn't fit into the style of the rest of the paper.

What do you mean? This is an informal research paper anyway.

"Not as wonderful as it seems" is very casual. If I were writing the paper, I'd replace it with "...Italian Mafia is less appealing than its stereotypical image depicted in popular culture."

 

[Rebasxer]

Shouldn't Goodfellas be italicized? or maybe it should be in quotes. It's one of the two.

 

[bradruth]

Sounds lame, but I'm not planning on helping you do your homework, so this is of little to no help at all.

 

[Shawn]

n/m

 

[Legendary]

What class, and how long is your paper supposed to be?

Edit: Before knowing the answers to those questions, I would say it is a weak thesis, overly broad and in the end, really doesn't prove anything.