Doesn't it hurt like a bitch when....

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

Spamela

Diamond Member
Oct 30, 2000
3,859
0
76
Hoeboy, have you explained your feelings to your parents? have you told them you know you screwed up in the past, but want to make them proud of you? have you told them you know they want you to be successful, and suggested ways they can help you, or asked them how they can help you?
 

TheDennis

Senior member
Oct 27, 2000
425
0
0
That is pretty bad for parents to say to their kids. It doesn't matter what they say anyways just do whatever you want. As long as you are happy forget them.
 

denali

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,122
0
0
Prodigy^, Just tell your mom that you don't live in Christiana so you can't be doing that bad. Unless you do live in Christiana in which case party down.
 

Nick Stone

Golden Member
Oct 14, 1999
1,033
0
0
Hoeboy
My suggestions:
1. Make a list of a few things that you do well.
2. Make another list of things you are learning and you have confidence that you will soon have them mastered.
3. Write down the short speech that you would like to say the next time you are confronted. Start it out with "I don't appologize for my accomplishments in life because -- ---
4. Don't make this little speach unless you're backed into a corner. Then suggest that you will gladly talk about this problem if they would give you 30 minutes of their time. Then speak about your capabilities. If others insist on talking about grades try to divert to talking about what you have learned.

BTW making good grades is mainly a test of self-disipline. The grading system is always geared to favor those who stay up with the class, do the homework, Buddy-up to the teacher, and work within the system. You are not rewarded for creativity, individuality, inteligence, speed, capability, integrity, etc.
For example, a "team" can study together, do homework together and most importantly work "Take-home tests" and papers together and beat the grades of any individual. But that does not mean that they have learned more, except "how to work together"-- and it will show up (maybe) sometime later in life.
Once you fully understand that, you often better appreciate your natural self respect.
See if you can find a "real" reason to get good grades, like getting into a class or a school that you want to take. That might motovate you to go for it.
 

Mayhem1869

Senior member
Dec 29, 2000
481
0
0
That really sucks. I don't have any siblings, so I don't have that problem. Now that I am all grown up ?(21) I'm out on my own with a wife and a kid. I wish like hell that my parents had pushed me harder. I'd give anything to be able to start back as a pimple-faced freshman in high school and do it right this time. I have an associate's degree in applied sciences, but I could have done much better. Don't get pissed and resentful, they are just trying to help.
 

Tripleshot

Elite Member
Jan 29, 2000
7,218
1
0
Hoeboy
Here is a clue. You are not in compitition with your brother or sister. You are an individual with your own destiny to follow. Your parents may have a poor way of challenging you to do better,or they may have a different vision for you,but by dang it son, stick with your goals if theyt are achievable. (Damn well be legal,bank robbing is not a vocation;)) You have a lifetime to makeadjustments and explore the world around you. Do your best in school(only you know if its your best effort)and do not buy into peer pressure to do anything that is not in your best interest,or that would in anyway detain you from your choosen path.

Good luck to you,and keep the faith.

:)
 

Akebono

Member
Apr 25, 2000
78
0
0
Let me just tell you a story that changed my life a bit. There were these set of twins that had abusive parents that did drugs, drank all day, beat up their kids, and basically didn't care for anything except for themselves. One of the twins ended up the same exact way, abusive, drunk, and drugged-out. The other became successful, graduating from a major university, and eventually starting his own business and raising a fine family of his own. They were both asked the same questions, "How did you end up where you are today?" and the both had the same answers "How could I not, With parents like that?"

Moral of story: It's all about how you take it. You can either sit there and take the scrutiny, or take the challenge and prove them wrong.

I was in the same boat as you are. I'm one of 4 kids in my family, an asian family at that which set very high standards for their kids. My older brother did really well in school, and I was never up to par with him. Until one day my dad told me that I'd never end up being as good as him. I took this as a challenge, and I believe to this day my dad knew that by saying that I would be motivated to achieve better. Now as we speak, I've already graduated from a top UC, and I'm doing web development for Sun Microsystems my first year out. All you have to do is keep trying your hardest, dont let things like that discourage you. Take it as a challenge and prove your parents wrong. Trust me, they want you to prove them wrong, maybe even more than you want to.

Now my little brother is in the same boat as you, I've given him basically this same speech. I hope it helps him out. Good luck.
 

madthumbs

Banned
Oct 1, 2000
2,680
0
0
f%$! them and make yourself happy - as long as you hold on to go morals. Don't waste your life trying to please a family. I learned that freinds can be better than family, but they are rare.
 

ArkAoss

Banned
Aug 31, 2000
5,437
0
0
yeah?? well my folks give me junk, and my older brother had been doing good, living in nyc, but he left there, came home, and got a job in carpentry, (was a pc/it guy) so he could get insurance to cover surgury he needs done, and to save money because he met a girl, and the girl left him, and the insurance won't cover his surgury, so he's at rock bottom. job with little future, lost 5 months of possible expierience in the IT field, and his nice place in NYC. And the girl lived in canada, so he spent nearly a grand in phone calls to her, till they broke up. And my folks still think I'm goin no where. i have an IT job, learning stuff at it, I have a local girl, and she's great, and so bahh to parents, what do they know., of course i have no savings right now, and sh!t for car....