Does this sentence make sense?

[BoldAsLove]

Here it is-

The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

somethign sounds wrong in it :-/

 

[IGBT]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
Here it is-

The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

somethign sounds wrong in it :-/

..ya. sounds like doper mumbles. 😕

 

[BoldAsLove]

how could i change it though?

 

[NanoStuff]

If I were hearing you read that out loud, I'd have thought you wrote it while being rear ended by an antelope.

The reality of the effects drugs may have on us; the future generation of the world.

...still rather lame. My report would be far less poetic and far more scientific.

 

[preslove]

Needs more context. Give the whole paragraph.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
Here it is-

The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

somethign sounds wrong in it :-/

"That is what the drug panels provide."

?

As far as the second half... you're on your own. I have no clue what the hell you're trying to communicate.

 

[BoldAsLove]

🙁

 

[BoldAsLove]

As Dr. Wilson says, ?While not everyone will have the same experience with drugs, by listening to different ex-users, one can deduct a pretty good idea of what the realities of choosing drug use may be for them.? The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

 

[Mardeth]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
Here it is-

The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

somethign sounds wrong in it :-/

Im guessing this is what you meant:

"The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us. Us, the future of this very world."

Still sounds a bit stupid....

 

[Braznor]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Try this:



The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, us being the future generation of this world.

I would love it if someone points out the mistakes in my sentence

 

[mb]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
As Dr. Wilson says, ?While not everyone will have the same experience with drugs, by listening to different ex-users, one can deduct a pretty good idea of what the realities of choosing drug use may be for them.? The drug panels provide just that - the realities that drugs may have on us as the future of the world.

 

[BoldAsLove]

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Try this:



The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, us being the future generation of this world.

I would love it if someone points out the mistakes in my sentence

hmm that sounds a ilttle better. thanks.

 

[astralusion]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Try this:



The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, us being the future generation of this world.

I would love it if someone points out the mistakes in my sentence

hmm that sounds a ilttle better. thanks.

in my opinion i would take out the "us being" at the end.

 

[Braznor]

Originally posted by: astralusion

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Try this:



The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, us being the future generation of this world.

I would love it if someone points out the mistakes in my sentence

hmm that sounds a ilttle better. thanks.

in my opinion i would take out the "us being" at the end.

Hmm, you are right, it would be better if 'US' is replaced with 'we'

 

[mb]

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: astralusion

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Try this:



The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, us being the future generation of this world.

I would love it if someone points out the mistakes in my sentence

hmm that sounds a ilttle better. thanks.

in my opinion i would take out the "us being" at the end.

Hmm, you are right, it would be better if 'US' is replaced with 'we'

No, it wouldn't. You really shouldn't make it two sentences either. To clarify, if you want to use 'we' in the sentence, then at least say something along the lines of "as we are the future of this world." Don't just say "enforce upon us, we being the.."

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

That sentence looks like the linguistic model of a train wreck.

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
As Dr. Wilson says, ?While not everyone will have the same experience with drugs, by listening to different ex-users, one can deduct a pretty good idea of what the realities of choosing drug use may be for them.? The drug panels provide just that. The realities drugs may have on us, us the future of this very world.

Does he explain his specific use of realities earlier in the book/article? He either has a specific meaning for the term or is being rather sloppy.

 

[Braznor]

Originally posted by: supafly

No, it wouldn't. You really shouldn't make it two sentences either.

Yep, two sentences would serve no purpose. But we can use either of the words: us or we.

 

[mb]

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: supafly

No, it wouldn't. You really shouldn't make it two sentences either.

Yep, two sentences would serve no purpose. But we can use either of the words: us or we.

Are you suggesting that it be written like this?
The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, we being the future generation of this world.

If so, that is not right. Perhaps I am mistunderstanding you...

We and us are not interchangeable.. you wouldn't say "us are good people" or "those cookies are for we."

 

[Braznor]

Originally posted by: supafly

Originally posted by: Braznor

Originally posted by: supafly

No, it wouldn't. You really shouldn't make it two sentences either.

Yep, two sentences would serve no purpose. But we can use either of the words: us or we.

Are you suggesting that it be written like this?
The drug panels provide us just that. The reality that drugs may enforce upon us, we being the future generation of this world.

If so, that is not right. Perhaps I am mistunderstanding you...

We and us are not interchangeable.. you wouldn't say "us are good people" or "those cookies are for we."

there needs to be a second comma after the 'we' or even 'us'

 

[Xonoahbin]

The drug panels provide just that- the realities drugs may have on the future of the world; in short, we, the next leadership generation.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
how could i change it though?

Semicolon after the first "us", comma after the second "us" would fix it.