Does this sentence make gramatical sense?

[BoldAsLove]

The development of Elie from a chaste sheltered boy to a grown up pragmatic human being exemplifies the ineludible theme; Loss of innocence.

Now to just get a thesis....

 

[BigJ]

Missing a whole bunch of punctuation.

 

[BoldAsLove]

comma after boy and human being right?

 

[JujuFish]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

It's fine as is, but if you're going to put commas in, they should go after Elie and human. Also, loss should not be capitalized, and that semicolon should be a colon.

 

[HN]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

no, just change the semicolon to a dash. lower case "loss". and i don't like the use of "ineludible theme".

 

[TitanDiddly]

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnon.

 

[BoldAsLove]

Originally posted by: JujuFish

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

It's fine as is, but if you're going to put commas in, they should go after Elie and human. Also, loss should not be capitalized, and that semicolon should be a colon.

mmk.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: JujuFish

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

It's fine as is, but if you're going to put commas in, they should go after Elie and human. Also, loss should not be capitalized, and that semicolon should be a colon.

mmk.

; != :

 

[BoldAsLove]

Originally posted by: HN

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

no, just change the semicolon to a dash. lower case "loss". and i don't like the use of "ineludible theme".

what would you prefer?

 

[CarlKillerMiller]

Content bit:

Chaste is almost always used with girls, not boys. Change "the ineludible" to "an ineludible".

 

[HN]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: HN

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

no, just change the semicolon to a dash. lower case "loss". and i don't like the use of "ineludible theme".

what would you prefer?

from the one sentence, it looks like you're doing some kind of book report, correct? if so, and if the overall theme is "loss of innocence" then use something like "primary" or "overall" or "predominant" or something to show that it is the encompassing theme of the book.

 

[BoldAsLove]

Originally posted by: CarlKillerMiller
Content bit:

Chaste is almost always used with girls, not boys. Change "the ineludible" to "an ineludible".

whats the male equivelant?

 

[BoldAsLove]

Originally posted by: HN

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove

Originally posted by: HN

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
comma after boy and human being right?

no, just change the semicolon to a dash. lower case "loss". and i don't like the use of "ineludible theme".

what would you prefer?

from the one sentence, it looks like you're doing some kind of book report, correct? if so, and if the overall theme is "loss of innocence" then use something like "primary" or "overall" or "predominant" or something to show that it is the encompassing theme of the book.

eh ineludible sounds better

 

[BoldAsLove]

The development of Elie from a chaste sheltered boy to a grown up pragmatic human being exemplifies an ineludible theme - loss of innocence.

better?

 

[Epic Fail]

Elie grew, lost innocence.

 

[JasonE4]

The development of Elie from a chaste sheltered boy to a grown up, pragmatic human being exemplifies an ineludible theme - loss of innocence.

 

[iamaelephant]

Why would people suggest a comma after human? "I'm a human, being."

BTW, weasel words FTL.

 

[herbiehancock]

Originally posted by: Falcon39
Why would people suggest a comma after human? "I'm a human, being."

You woldn't.......you would put a comma after being. The commas would go before from and after being. You can drop that whole clause out and still not change the sentence's meaning:


The development of Elie, from a chaste and sheltered boy to a grown-up and pragmatic human being, exemplifies an ineludible theme - loss of innocence.


The development of Elie exemplifies an ineludible theme - loss of innocence.




Both those sentences mean the same thing......the development shows loss of innocence. The clause left out is just an adjective dependent clause describing Elie, and could easily be left out, which it may be better and more succinct to do.

I put the "ands" in the clause to separate the list words....Elie is chaste and sheltered, and Elie is grown-up and pragmatic. You can drop either chaste and sheltered and not change the meaning, same with grown-up and pragmatic. Both sets of words are lists...and should either be separated with commas or the word "and."

 

[DivideBYZero]

Elie got some.

 

[sandorski]

This sounds like the begining of a bad porn story. 😉

 

[loic2003]

Originally posted by: BoldAsLove
Does this sentence make gramatical sense?

Yes it does. However, since you didn't want us to check the above sentence, it should have read "Does the following sentence make gramatical sense?:"

 

[Strk]

It's just not a very good sentence. It sounds like you're trying too hard.

 

[fitzov]

I'd use two dashes after 'theme', and make 'Loss' lowercase. The sentence is rather complex. You'd be better to go like this:

Elie develops from a chaste, sheltered boy to a pragmatic adult. This transformation exemplifies an ineluctable theme--the loss of innocence.

 

[GasX]

Do you get bonus points for using words that are not in common usage?