So much fail in a single OP post. First of all, if you're not Libertarian then get off the "letting women do what they want with their bodies" as you just limit them in other ways.
As far as "inside the privacy of their home" I have no idea WTF you're talking about; if you mean gay marriage that's a public activity by its nature and the right course of action anyway is to get government out of the marriage business altogether. Issue "civil union certificates" to all if you wish for record keeping purposes, but it's not the proper role of town hall to have a controlling interest in your marriage, or baptism, bah mitzvah, or any other religious activity.
On the "government handouts for those who can support themselves," what do you think every single fucking social welfare spending policy is? All of them are just subsidies for consumer products companies, hell with food stamps you might as well just have Uncle Sam just write the check directly to Kellogg, Kraft Foods, General Mills, AMD, Monsanto, and the rest of them. And that's not to mention the sweetheart/kleptocratic deals that are made on both sides of the aisle for so-called noble reasons.
On the Jesus thing, the guy made a habit of calling out people who did exactly what the left does - look up the parable of the Good Samaritan and urban leftists play the role of the Levite priest daily for the homeless. Or the parable and the two mites and see how that differs from progressives who cite "collective action problem" when asked why they aren't doing anything. Jesus told people to get personally involved, not simply support higher taxes so that the Roman authorities could take care of the problem for you. Hell, you guys are basically the ones who would have been champions of the exclusionary temple tax back in the day.
If you don't get gun ownership by now you never will, so I'm just going to pass that one by. Maybe one day you'll realize that embedded in the idea of rights is that you don't get to limit other people's just because the idea they may exercise their rights is scary to you.
You're for free speech, that's great. Now stop trying to limit it by saying that it only applies to speech you approve of, and not Citizens United-related or other speech.