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Do you see any errors?

A

Aimster

Lifer
"Just for a moment suppose that you live in a world orbited by six suns, and at least one of them is always shining. This is the case on the planet Lagash."

 
"Just for a moment, suppose that you live in a world orbited by six suns, and at least one of them is always shining. This is the case on the planet Lagash."

Thats my pick.

Koing
 
Originally posted by: Koing
"Just for a moment, suppose that you live in a world orbited by six suns, and at least one of them is always shining. This is the case on the planet Lagash."

Thats my pick.

Koing
Click to expand...
That's what I thought too. I didn't notice anything else.


: ) Amanda
 
nope,

I got a D+ on this essay because of it. I used this "error" all over my essay.

Can anyone else see it or is my professor crazy?
 
The first sentence seems like a run-on! Could have been two sentences. I'm not sure if that's what he meant.


: ) Amanda
 
Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson
Suns don't orbit planets, it's vice-versa....
Click to expand...
In our solar system that is true, but couldn't their be a world that was big enough to have suns orbiting it?

nm: aves just said the answer to my question is NO!!


: ) Amanda
 
Originally posted by: Aimster
"Just for a moment suppose that you live in a world orbited by six suns and at least one of them is always shining. This is the case on the planet Lagash."
Click to expand...

Originally posted by: Aimster
"Just for a moment, suppose that you live in a world orbited by six suns and at least one of them is always shining. This is the case on the planet Lagash."
Click to expand...

Adding a comma won't fix it. Take one away or move it.
 
Anyways this was the error. The word this

She said This what? whenever I used it.

Graded Sentence: This what? Unclear pronoun reference is the case on the planet Lagash
 
Originally posted by: Aimster
nope,

I got a D+ on this essay because of it. I used this "error" all over my essay.

Can anyone else see it or is my professor crazy?
Click to expand...

You got a D+ on an essay because of one sentence?
 
Originally posted by: ohtwell
Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson
Suns don't orbit planets, it's vice-versa....
Click to expand...
In our solar system that is true, but couldn't their be a world that was big enough to have suns orbiting it?

nm: aves just said the answer to my question is NO!!


: ) Amanda
Click to expand...

Er, no. Anything that massive would have to be a star itself or a supermassive black hole.

 
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
Originally posted by: Aimster
nope,

I got a D+ on this essay because of it. I used this "error" all over my essay.

Can anyone else see it or is my professor crazy?
Click to expand...

You got a D+ on an essay because of one sentence?
Click to expand...


I used this at least 10x in the essay and she kept saying what.

Also she said my thesis made no sense at all:

As the people of Lavash are struggling to confront the unknown and survive, they need to analyze religion, science, and darkness vague if they want to live to see daylight again
 
Suppose for a moment you lived in a world orbited by six suns where at least one is always shining. This is planet Lagash.
 
Originally posted by: Aimster
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
Originally posted by: Aimster
nope,

I got a D+ on this essay because of it. I used this "error" all over my essay.

Can anyone else see it or is my professor crazy?
Click to expand...

You got a D+ on an essay because of one sentence?
Click to expand...


I used this at least 10x in the essay and she kept saying what.

Also she said my thesis made no sense at all:

As the people of Lavash are struggling to confront the unknown and survive, they need to analyze religion, science, and darkness vague if they want to live to see daylight again
Click to expand...

Am I the only one who is completely and utterly perplexed by the retardedness of this whole post?
 
Originally posted by: Aimster

Also she said my thesis made no sense at all:

As the people of Lavash are struggling to confront the unknown and survive, they need to analyze religion, science, and darkness vague if they want to live to see daylight again
Click to expand...

That does not make sense. Do you mean vague darkness? Analyzing religion, science and darkness in a vague manner? I don't follow that sentence.
 
Originally posted by: kranky
Originally posted by: Aimster

Also she said my thesis made no sense at all:

As the people of Lavash are struggling to confront the unknown and survive, they need to analyze religion, science, and darkness vague if they want to live to see daylight again
Click to expand...

That does not make sense. Do you mean vague darkness? Analyzing religion, science and darkness in a vague manner? I don't follow that sentence.
Click to expand...

The bold is what she wrote when she corrected/commented on my sentences.
 
btw, my college professor always used to give us a hard time with what you mentioned. This what? what is That? Who are you referring to?

Basically, try and use the smallest amount of to-be verbs you can in an essay (am, is, are, were, was, be, being)... 🙂
 
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