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do you like cheese?

I think its very possible. It doen'st necessarily mean she's having sexwith someone else, it just means she doesn't want to have it wit hyou anymore. She probably loves you platonically or is a good liar. either way this relationship is long past dead
 
There is always a time when someone loses the "spark," love is a commitment, not always just some feeling, so sometimes you have to choose to love, if that makes sense. It is normal, and if she is willing to keep trying, go for it.
 
Originally posted by: themusgrat
There is always a time when someone loses the "spark," love is a commitment, not always just some feeling, so sometimes you have to choose to love, if that makes sense. It is normal, and if she is willing to keep trying, go for it.
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yeah, thats what i'm hoping for 🙂 i love her a lot, and i just wish things were back to the way they were. i know what you are saying about a commitment. i am 130% committed to her, no matter what. i always tell her that. she said she will keep trying.

Originally posted by: her209
Ask her if she's interested in someone else?
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i'm planning on doing that tonight sometime once she gets home from a school function.
 
Sounds to me like she just doesn't have it in her to break things off so instead of just pulling the band-aid off she's peeling it really slow.

Could be wrong, but if she doesn't find you attractive then theres little hope for things to last.

Maybe you two can work out whatever her issues are with her attraction to you though.

Good luck with everything either way.
 
Originally posted by: pOwder
Originally posted by: themusgrat
There is always a time when someone loses the "spark," love is a commitment, not always just some feeling, so sometimes you have to choose to love, if that makes sense. It is normal, and if she is willing to keep trying, go for it.
Click to expand...

yeah, thats what i'm hoping for 🙂 i love her a lot, and i just wish things were back to the way they were. i know what you are saying about a commitment. i am 130% committed to her, no matter what. i always tell her that. she said she will keep trying.

Originally posted by: her209
Ask her if she's interested in someone else?
Click to expand...

i'm planning on doing that tonight sometime once she gets home from a school function.
Click to expand...

Perhaps you should, instead, try to be more attractive in the sense of romanticism? If you set up a very nice one on one candlelight dinner where she had no idea that it was going to happen, I think that might spark some things. Many girls have the problem of their guys losing their "charm." If you did that, perhaps you would instigate that in her mind again. Just a suggestion, but GL man anyhow.
 
1. How long have you two been dating?
2. When you say "no physical contact", do you mean "no physical contact since july/august" or "no physical contact ever"?
 
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
1. how long you two been dating?
2. When you say "no physical contact", do you mean "no physical contact since july/august" or "no physical contact ever"?
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been dating since june 3rd, 2005. and no physical contact since july/august 2006. she used to be down for anything, anytime, anywhere. 😎

Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged
Perhaps you should, instead, try to be more attractive in the sense of romanticism? If you set up a very nice one on one candlelight dinner where she had no idea that it was going to happen, I think that might spark some things. Many girls have the problem of their guys losing their "charm." If you did that, perhaps you would instigate that in her mind again. Just a suggestion, but GL man anyhow.
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that is a sweet idea 🙂 the way i see it, i'm going to try everything. i need to, i don't want to lose her, i'm madly in love with her 🙁 but well, if she wants to move on i wish she would just tell me. but i'm more than willing to work on it than just give up and "move on". "moving on" is not an option here, well, unless she wants to break it off herself.

do you think if i ask her if she is interested in someone else she will get offended? I feel like that would offend her. maybe i should avoid asking that?
 
Originally posted by: lokiju
Sounds to me like she just doesn't have it in her to break things off so instead of just pulling the band-aid off she's peeling it really slow.

Could be wrong, but if she doesn't find you attractive then theres little hope for things to last.

Maybe you two can work out whatever her issues are with her attraction to you though.

Good luck with everything either way.
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i'm going to talk to her about that tonight, i hope.
 
oh it's hard my friend. i'm trying to move on as well and it has been freakin' hard as hell.
i'm trying. best of luck to you though.

btw, it's because her interest level in you has dropped. it's you and not her.
 
Originally posted by: pOwder
my girlfriend pretty much told me last night that she is not attracted to me anymore--in a kind of "beat around the bush" kind of way. we had some issues for the most part of july and august, and it was mostly caused by me, i'll admit it. won't go into detail there because its irrelevant. we weren't having sex for that time because of our issues and any communication we made was us either be mad at each other or not saying anything at all.

i could always tell she wasn't as attracted to me as much since we fixed our problems early in september. kisses weren't as passionate, no sex, she wasn't interested in doing anything whatsoever--even just making out. i just could tell and i finally asked her about it last night.

if thats so, does that necessarily mean she is banging some other guy? she always says she loves me. says it to my face looking me square in the eye. but she isn't attracted to me. this confuses me. age of said girl is... well, i'll say young--tons more mature than her friends and peers. she said our "love life" will come back, but i don't feel like it will.
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for me, attraction has A LOT to do with how i feel about the person. some years ago, there was a below average-looking who i initially considered nothing more than friends (because of how he looked...there i admitted it!), but after we started hanging out and i got to know him, his attractiveness score shot up considerably.

my guess is because both of you had issues in july & august, which you admittedly caused--her feelings for you also decreased, as well as your attractiveness in her eyes. resolve it by letting her "trust" you again, that the same issues won't come back, or it won't last as long. it's definitely good news that she said you guys' love life will come back...all is not broken yet. she loves/cares for you..seriously doubt she's seeing someone else...but if you don't resolve any lingering issues between the two of you (including resentment or distrust for you), she could very well set her sights on someone else.
 
Originally posted by: Xstatic1
Originally posted by: pOwder
my girlfriend pretty much told me last night that she is not attracted to me anymore--in a kind of "beat around the bush" kind of way. we had some issues for the most part of july and august, and it was mostly caused by me, i'll admit it. won't go into detail there because its irrelevant. we weren't having sex for that time because of our issues and any communication we made was us either be mad at each other or not saying anything at all.

i could always tell she wasn't as attracted to me as much since we fixed our problems early in september. kisses weren't as passionate, no sex, she wasn't interested in doing anything whatsoever--even just making out. i just could tell and i finally asked her about it last night.

if thats so, does that necessarily mean she is banging some other guy? she always says she loves me. says it to my face looking me square in the eye. but she isn't attracted to me. this confuses me. age of said girl is... well, i'll say young--tons more mature than her friends and peers. she said our "love life" will come back, but i don't feel like it will.
Click to expand...

for me, attraction has A LOT to do with how i feel about the person. some years ago, there was a below average-looking who i initially considered nothing more than friends (because of how he looked...there i admitted it!), but after we started hanging out and i got to know him, his attractiveness score shot up considerably.

my guess is because both of you had issues in july & august, which you admittedly caused--her feelings for you also decreased, as well as your attractiveness in her eyes. resolve it by letting her "trust" you again, that the same issues won't come back, or it won't last as long. it's definitely good news that she said you guys' love life will come back...all is not broken yet. she loves/cares for you..seriously doubt she's seeing someone else...but if you don't resolve any lingering issues between the two of you (including resentment or distrust for you), she could very well set her sights on someone else.
Click to expand...

well, thats a good point. unless she is just leading me along.

she isn't that kind of person though. she wouldn't do that to me, i know she wouldn't. i mean, i know her better than you guys do, obviously, but everyone is telling me just "Move on" and get over it. well, i'm not doing that.

you made a great point though. she said it will come back 🙂 she wouldn't say it unless she meant it. so i think i'll just keep talking to her about it and hope for the best 🙂 maybe make her a nice dinner or something 🙂
 
Originally posted by: pOwder
that is a sweet idea 🙂 the way i see it, i'm going to try everything. i need to, i don't want to lose her, i'm madly in love with her 🙁 but well, if she wants to move on i wish she would just tell me. but i'm more than willing to work on it than just give up and "move on". "moving on" is not an option here, well, unless she wants to break it off herself.

do you think if i ask her if she is interested in someone else she will get offended? I feel like that would offend her. maybe i should avoid asking that?
Click to expand...

Don't go there. It would tell her that you don't trust her, and put her on the defensive. If things are already fragile, this could tip the balance.

Instead, concentrate on showing her what kind of guy YOU are, and what kind of relationship you want to have. Let her know that even though things changed for the worse last summer, they can also change for the better, and that you're ready to make it happen. Actions speak louder than words.

And good luck. 🙂
 
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