Do you know anyone who's had an abortion or miscarriage?

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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An acquaintance of mine recently had a miscarriage, and it was a particularly devastating experience for her and her ex-boyfriend.

When I was in high school (wealthy upper-middle class area, of which I was on the lower end), almost all of the girls who got pregnant got abortions which were paid for by their parents. It was considered "unclassy" to become pregnant when young, and the two girls who did get pregnant and couldn't afford abortions were heckled so much they became depressed and dropped out of school (one attempted suicide but received help).

My mother had two miscarriages, and lost what would have been my older sister and younger brother. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to lose a child in such a way. :(
 

blackdogdeek

Lifer
Mar 14, 2003
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yes, i know quite a few women who have had miscarriages. the numbers are pretty high, iirc, something like 1 in 5 women.

i also know 1 woman who had a late term abortion.
 

Ulfwald

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May 27, 2000
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I once dated a girl who, without my knowledge, got 2 abortions. When I found out what she did, I became very depressed.
 

Spoooon

Lifer
Mar 3, 2000
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A friend of mine's mom had a miscarriage. She had gotten in a car accident while her husband was driving and an injury caused her to miscarry. Ever since then, she won't allow anyone to drive her around.
 

fs5

Lifer
Jun 10, 2000
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actually I do know someone who had an abortion.... she handled it well because it was her decision. she wanted to finish college and having a child was not on her agenda. She's a strong person. she didn't tell her parents though.

that said, miscarriage is totally different than abortions because you decide to have an abortion (most of the time). you have no control over miscarriages.
 

Mr N8

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Dec 3, 2001
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My wife's best friend just had a miscarriage. She seems to be handling it ok, but still starts to cry just because she feels like it. This was going to be her first child, and both her and her husband were very excited.

Another couple that we are friends with had 2 miscarriages. One would have been their second child, and the other would have been their 4th. They now have 4 kids, but still are affected by the loss of those two.

Miscarriages are very hard on families, and even more so for the mothers. Its really the only thing that scares my wife and I about having kids.
 

Ryan

Lifer
Oct 31, 2000
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My mother had a miscarriage before she had me (her first "born" child) :( She said it was probably one of the most devastating things to ever happen to her - the baby was almost full term :(
 

Whisper

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Feb 25, 2000
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I don't directly know any women who have had the misfortune of a miscarriage.

I do know one or two that have had an abortion, though.
 

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Ulfwald
I once dated a girl who, without my knowledge, got 2 abortions. When I found out what she did, I became very depressed.

What went through your mind? Sometimes, I wonder how guys react when their girlfriends/wives have abortions without their knowledge. :(
 

AlmostFunny

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Sep 2, 2003
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Being as shallow as i am I dont see why having a miscarrige is suckh a big deal. Now if it happened in the 3rd trimester then yeah ok but 90% of them are like in the first 2 months.

But yeah my wife has had both.
 

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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Is there anything women can do to reduce the chance of a miscarriage? Does it have to be brought on by a traumatic incident (such as that car accident :( )?

I don't think there was any reason for my mom's. My dad said she would cry afterwards, though... whenever she saw a diaper commerical on TV or anything related to babies. :(
 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
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I know a couple of people with a miscarriage. I don't *know* that anyone I know has had an abortion, but it's not something I usually ask about.

Edit: I know that if a girl that I got pregnant had an abortion, I would be uncontrollably depressed.
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
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A friend of mine had an abortion when she was younger. It has really gotten to her now that she is older.
 

fatkorean

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Dec 17, 2001
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I know someone who had a miscarriage, it destroyed their marriage. She got depressed and couldn't get out of it and the husband went elsewhere... kinda sad

-fk
 

Dacalo

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2000
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I know a few. Very tragic.

I know my mom had a miscarriage before she had me. But then again, I would have been never born if that baby made it. Either way, so :(
 

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
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Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Ulfwald I once dated a girl who, without my knowledge, got 2 abortions. When I found out what she did, I became very depressed.
What went through your mind? Sometimes, I wonder how guys react when their girlfriends/wives have abortions without their knowledge. :(

I was very angry, upset and wanted to exact some sort of vengence. But fate took care of that for me. One of my friends is how I found out about it, she was a nurse at the abortion clinic and told me about it, 6 months later.

I told my friend how her father would flip out. She "accidently" mailed the medical records to her house so her dad got them. After that, I never found out what happened.

But quite honestly, I regarded her as a murderer, I could never look at her again, she is a typical street whore to me.
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Ulfwald
I once dated a girl who, without my knowledge, got 2 abortions. When I found out what she did, I became very depressed.

What went through your mind? Sometimes, I wonder how guys react when their girlfriends/wives have abortions without their knowledge. :(

My ex-gf told me she had had a miscarriage when I broke up with her. I broke up with her a couple weeks after it apparently happened. She seemed more upset by the pain and blood than from the psychological concept of "loss."

I was pretty pissed that she didn't tell me about it. OTOH, I felt that I had dodged a bullet. There was a reason I was ending the relationship, and I'd say that she didn't feel she could tell me she was pregnant illustrates perfectly why things were not going as well as they should have been.

I know a few who have gotten abortions, too. They basically were very upset, but they felt like they did the right thing for them at that point in their life.
 

Spamela

Diamond Member
Oct 30, 2000
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i know a woman who had an abortion.

she's still tortured over it, even though it's been many years.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
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I remember from my university genetics class that the prof said that roughly one in six fertilized eggs makes it through gestation completely, not taking into account intentional abortion. Most just never implant or spontaneously abort before the woman is ever aware of the pregnancy.

I had an early miscarriage (under 5 weeks) back in college. Hard to imagine that I could have a half-Japanese teen right now. I just tried to not think about it too much. I was not prepared to have a kid, but would never have had an abortion, as hard as it would have been to raise a kid at that age. I'm pro-choice, but would not chose abortion for myself, like many pro-choice women.