So a long time ago, for whatever reason, when I seen a post that was really funny or that I liked, I started pasting them into a text file. I also have a few at the end from other websites, but I mostly just visit AT.
Now I know I lost the original AT quotes text file I had when I formatted my computer and forgot to save that file or something. Those were from like 2001-2004 I'd guess. The new one I have is from '04 on.
Anyway, thought I would share them. Some of them still make me laugh when I read them.. so kinda cool idea I think. You could say its no real point to it and a waste of time, but with the 7 years (ONE THIRD of my life, ridiciulous!! :clock: ) I've spent on these forums already, a dozen copy-pastes a year isn't much.
*********start funny, witty, smart, or whatever comments************************
Community service? I always found more satisfaction hoarding my money like
a goblin and tripping elderly women. To each his own. -pingspike 6/08/04
You can take the thug out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out
of the thug! -sxftdeep 6/25/04
OK, so: Ya gotcher booze. Ya gotcher weed. But you've only got one buddy to hang out with? What's the problem? It's the quality of the company not the quantity that counts.
Granted it would be better to get one of the girls stoned off her rocker and let her do things to you involving whipped cream, baby oil and a red bozo the clown nose, but hey, PC Gaming is good too. -MichaelD 9/11/04
NEVER, EVER, EVER uninstall Sierra Utilities with Add/Remove Programs
This godforsaken peice of dogsh!t of a program came with Half-Life. You have no choice NOT to install it when installing Half-Life. When you uninstall it, it deletes FREAKING EVERTHING IN C:\PROGRAM FILES.
This peice of sh!t just deleted my Eclipse workspace! Fvcking god damn hell! That was source code I was writing! Not to mention, most of my other installed applications.
Someone should start a damned class-action lawsuit against Sierra for releasing this crap. Either that, or Firebomb thier fvcking building and rape thier wives and kill thier children. FVCK YOU SIERRA!
BTW, this is the SECOND time this has happened! I had it happen before, several years ago on win2k, and it just did it again on WinXP Pro.
SIERRA, YOU COCKSUCKERS, YOU OWE ME MY TIME BACK!!! FVCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILIES! notfred 10-06-04
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
You're lucky I read your post. I just got a 4-pk from ebay for $14.95 shipped. ebay has tons of these for such price.
Originally posted by: welst10
After I posted, I thought about the last batch of razor blades I bought off eBay &
looked, sure enough...
jagec: ebay: Helping amateur thieves offload their loot since 1995! 10/28/04
LOLyourFace 12/01/04:
[/obligatory geek comment]
OMGJEEBUS A HOT 22 YR OLD IN CUTEAAZZ PAJAMAS WITH HER HAIR AND EVERYTHING WET FROM THJE RAIN!?!?
I WOUDL"VE BEEN LIK E "UH HE< HEY YOU< YOU"RE PURTY!"
[/done]
quote:
Originally posted by: jinduy
my elderly coworker is indian and is jewish. he wants nothing to do with pork and is disgusted of it every time i eat it in front of him . i think it's a common indian culture thing...
Jewish Indian? Elaborate ... -GreatBarracuda 12/04/04
Originally posted by: Xionide 12/20/04
OMG you're feeling emotion. GO GET PILLS FAST!
Brutuskend 1/29/05:
Next time you are too drunk to drive, Walk to the nearest pizza shop, Place an order, And when they go to deliver it, Catch a ride home with them.
Eli 3/10/05:
Drugs don't create losers, losers create losers.
That is all.
3/22/05 thriemus: What Do you Want next in I.T.
mboy: Another tech boom where the jobs outnumber the labor pool
-- from SomethingAwful.com forums
Challenge: How many five year olds can you take on at once?
Rules:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
Been having this stupid fvcking debate with some friends and the answers vary wildly from 5 to 80. I am of the opinion that I could take around 40, no matter how well trained they are you can still run faster than them. My plan would be to run away to the other side of the room, wait for them to chase after me and kick 3 or 4 in the head. When they start to swarm, I run away again and repeat. If they managed to grab onto my legs so I couldn't run away I would start punching them in the top of the head or even banging heads together. I don't see how they could stop a kick to the head, and I can't imagine what someone would train them to do. Here are some 5-year olds for reference.
mercanucaribe: (regarding what to buy a new college friend)
Engineering? Scratch condoms off the list. Buy him Kleenex in bulk.
Skoorb: (regarding Saab of 2005 and few years before)
FWIW I think saab is one of the most pathetic manufacturers right now, in great part because NOBODY buys them. What do they sell, like 30 vehicles/year? They matter too little for me to care enough to really dislike them, so I'm only mildly discontented with their existence.
I dont think Wyoming has Internet yet. They are just getting VCR's.
And you wondered where all that old stuff goes. -- HDTVMan 7/26/05
Exactly, in the early part of the century when companies were taking advantage of the average worker, unions were a godsend. Nowadays, the unions are raping companies and leaving the lube at home. -- Ktulu 8/29/05 on unions (and GM)
TBone48: How many per day is considered healthy?
Carbo: Four times daily, according to a very large woman I know. 9/17/05
glugglug: Ever been to the DMV? I'm quite certain there is overlap between humans and other animals on the intelligence front. 12/05/05
DeadByDawn:
I gave up trying to figure out what was fair a long time ago. Now I just worry about myself. 1/18/06
Acidbath:
EDIT: almost forgot... women are crazy. there are zero exceptions to this. they are all nuts in one way or another. trying to understand the inner workings of a womans mind is like trying to do complex math while stoned. it just makes
no ****** sense. 2/08/06
shortylickens:
If ES:4 stinks, I may just give up video games entirely. Perhaps start dating, get married, and buy a yard with a dog named Skip and a white picket fence.
Sorry if I offend anybody, thats just the way I feel about the situation. 3/2/06
quote:
Originally posted by: amdhunter
but the price of gas is essential to some people's lives.
Of course it is. We all know this.
However, our current situation in the USA isn't going to change soon. We're in this situation because we've allowed our
country to be run by oil men who care more about making as much money as long as possible than planning for energy
problems. We've known for over 50 years that the day would come when oil would be a major problem but we've buried our
heads in the sands and ignored the problem instead of planning properly.
This is the result and it's NOT going to get better soon. -DAGTA 4/27/06
dirtboy quote:
If she loved you, she would understand you were broke.
This is a woman we're talking about. -- mugs 5/1/06
03/21/2005 08:47 AM Originally posted by: aircooled
ATOT is really more of a Burrito Supreme, it tastes OK, but in the end we're all just shooting it out of our ass....
paraphrased June/July 2006:
[OP hit a 25 ton construction jack laying on the highway with his car]
Shawn: 25 tons? As in 50,000 lbs??!
--xxxx: I'm not sure what else 25 tons could be.
Shawn: There's no way that thing weighs 50,000 lbs!! Maybe a couple hundred.
OP: 25 ton jack meaning it can support 25 tons. It weighed about 60 lbs since I lifted it into my trunk.
-xxx: I have a 2 ton jack at home. I can lift it over my head!! I'm very strong
[hilarity and pwnage of Shawn ensures]
Platypus: Motorola should purchase a vowel next time it's their turn to spin.
kingtas: Lonely young girls + alcohol + new found freedom = SWEET JESUS!!! 9/26/06
johnfreeez(?): paraphrased: "if one could somehow record and later review the thought process and ideas that occur while the brain state is altered, I think we'd be much more enlightened people. 2002-2003?
***** AT signatures of members that I liked ***********
SuperTool:
There is EE in SLEEP, there is no SLEEP in EE.
kamper:
There's no place like 127.0.0.1!
Moonbeam:
It may not be so much a matter that I'm far out, but rather that you have never been anywhere.
The above may just be my usual sarcarm and in no way reflects my real opinion (and,or) may include subtleties of sufficient rarity as to appear to the unsuspecting like total gibberish.
TheLonelyPhoenix:
To an optimist, the glass is half-full. To a pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To an engineer, the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
coolred:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered the ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil.
sao123:
Lim Engineering = Business
GPA -> 0
Originally posted by: bigrash
Quilted Northern haxors my assors
J0hnny:
There are only two rules for success:
1) Never tell everything you know.
2)
PingSpike:
Error reading poptart in Drive A: Delete kids y/n?\
*** torrentspy comments (comments on TS are usually made by the most idiotic people in the world, seriously some of them are so bad....) *********
"Hey --vergil2006 on Monday, December 19 2005 5:39:37 PM
hey man who do you to quit the passwords because i want burn my games you know the games i buy , i want know what programs you use to burn it , and quit the passwords."
[from a WoW torrent]
"no lag sever --bonerz on Friday, January 13 2006 8:30:10 PM
can anyone tell me which sever is da best with less lags"
"ip help --bonerz on Saturday, January 14 2006 11:26:57 PM
where ca i find da ip"
[from a RATM discography torrent]
"this any good? --Terminizor on Monday, May 23 2005 10:17:58 AM
anyone know if this file works and is virus free?"
"only one album --horseph on Friday, June 17 2005 10:32:55 PM
its just one album dont bother"
"No Subject --thegrudgemachine on Saturday, May 28 2005 8:01:58 PM
people for fuks sake...
[ Results Truncated - Show All Files ]
see that button..use it! This is not one cd its all of them...its really startin to bug the crap out of me that every torrent i go to ppl are saying "its incomplete, dont bother"...or"its only 1 part" seriously...come on"
"No Subject --lobtraun on Tuesday, June 21 2005 10:46:31 AM
how is this ska?"
******* signatures/quotes from THE NEW BLUELIGHT forums ***********
alasdairm: Without bad, there can be no good, they are relative...
**** END *******
Enjoy
<br
Now I know I lost the original AT quotes text file I had when I formatted my computer and forgot to save that file or something. Those were from like 2001-2004 I'd guess. The new one I have is from '04 on.
Anyway, thought I would share them. Some of them still make me laugh when I read them.. so kinda cool idea I think. You could say its no real point to it and a waste of time, but with the 7 years (ONE THIRD of my life, ridiciulous!! :clock: ) I've spent on these forums already, a dozen copy-pastes a year isn't much.
*********start funny, witty, smart, or whatever comments************************
Community service? I always found more satisfaction hoarding my money like
a goblin and tripping elderly women. To each his own. -pingspike 6/08/04
You can take the thug out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out
of the thug! -sxftdeep 6/25/04
OK, so: Ya gotcher booze. Ya gotcher weed. But you've only got one buddy to hang out with? What's the problem? It's the quality of the company not the quantity that counts.
Granted it would be better to get one of the girls stoned off her rocker and let her do things to you involving whipped cream, baby oil and a red bozo the clown nose, but hey, PC Gaming is good too. -MichaelD 9/11/04
NEVER, EVER, EVER uninstall Sierra Utilities with Add/Remove Programs
This godforsaken peice of dogsh!t of a program came with Half-Life. You have no choice NOT to install it when installing Half-Life. When you uninstall it, it deletes FREAKING EVERTHING IN C:\PROGRAM FILES.
This peice of sh!t just deleted my Eclipse workspace! Fvcking god damn hell! That was source code I was writing! Not to mention, most of my other installed applications.
Someone should start a damned class-action lawsuit against Sierra for releasing this crap. Either that, or Firebomb thier fvcking building and rape thier wives and kill thier children. FVCK YOU SIERRA!
BTW, this is the SECOND time this has happened! I had it happen before, several years ago on win2k, and it just did it again on WinXP Pro.
SIERRA, YOU COCKSUCKERS, YOU OWE ME MY TIME BACK!!! FVCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILIES! notfred 10-06-04
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
You're lucky I read your post. I just got a 4-pk from ebay for $14.95 shipped. ebay has tons of these for such price.
Originally posted by: welst10
After I posted, I thought about the last batch of razor blades I bought off eBay &
looked, sure enough...
jagec: ebay: Helping amateur thieves offload their loot since 1995! 10/28/04
LOLyourFace 12/01/04:
[/obligatory geek comment]
OMGJEEBUS A HOT 22 YR OLD IN CUTEAAZZ PAJAMAS WITH HER HAIR AND EVERYTHING WET FROM THJE RAIN!?!?
I WOUDL"VE BEEN LIK E "UH HE< HEY YOU< YOU"RE PURTY!"
[/done]
quote:
Originally posted by: jinduy
my elderly coworker is indian and is jewish. he wants nothing to do with pork and is disgusted of it every time i eat it in front of him . i think it's a common indian culture thing...
Jewish Indian? Elaborate ... -GreatBarracuda 12/04/04
Originally posted by: Xionide 12/20/04
OMG you're feeling emotion. GO GET PILLS FAST!
Brutuskend 1/29/05:
Next time you are too drunk to drive, Walk to the nearest pizza shop, Place an order, And when they go to deliver it, Catch a ride home with them.
Eli 3/10/05:
Drugs don't create losers, losers create losers.
That is all.
3/22/05 thriemus: What Do you Want next in I.T.
mboy: Another tech boom where the jobs outnumber the labor pool
-- from SomethingAwful.com forums
Challenge: How many five year olds can you take on at once?
Rules:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
Been having this stupid fvcking debate with some friends and the answers vary wildly from 5 to 80. I am of the opinion that I could take around 40, no matter how well trained they are you can still run faster than them. My plan would be to run away to the other side of the room, wait for them to chase after me and kick 3 or 4 in the head. When they start to swarm, I run away again and repeat. If they managed to grab onto my legs so I couldn't run away I would start punching them in the top of the head or even banging heads together. I don't see how they could stop a kick to the head, and I can't imagine what someone would train them to do. Here are some 5-year olds for reference.
mercanucaribe: (regarding what to buy a new college friend)
Engineering? Scratch condoms off the list. Buy him Kleenex in bulk.
Skoorb: (regarding Saab of 2005 and few years before)
FWIW I think saab is one of the most pathetic manufacturers right now, in great part because NOBODY buys them. What do they sell, like 30 vehicles/year? They matter too little for me to care enough to really dislike them, so I'm only mildly discontented with their existence.
I dont think Wyoming has Internet yet. They are just getting VCR's.
And you wondered where all that old stuff goes. -- HDTVMan 7/26/05
Exactly, in the early part of the century when companies were taking advantage of the average worker, unions were a godsend. Nowadays, the unions are raping companies and leaving the lube at home. -- Ktulu 8/29/05 on unions (and GM)
TBone48: How many per day is considered healthy?
Carbo: Four times daily, according to a very large woman I know. 9/17/05
glugglug: Ever been to the DMV? I'm quite certain there is overlap between humans and other animals on the intelligence front. 12/05/05
DeadByDawn:
I gave up trying to figure out what was fair a long time ago. Now I just worry about myself. 1/18/06
Acidbath:
EDIT: almost forgot... women are crazy. there are zero exceptions to this. they are all nuts in one way or another. trying to understand the inner workings of a womans mind is like trying to do complex math while stoned. it just makes
no ****** sense. 2/08/06
shortylickens:
If ES:4 stinks, I may just give up video games entirely. Perhaps start dating, get married, and buy a yard with a dog named Skip and a white picket fence.
Sorry if I offend anybody, thats just the way I feel about the situation. 3/2/06
quote:
Originally posted by: amdhunter
but the price of gas is essential to some people's lives.
Of course it is. We all know this.
However, our current situation in the USA isn't going to change soon. We're in this situation because we've allowed our
country to be run by oil men who care more about making as much money as long as possible than planning for energy
problems. We've known for over 50 years that the day would come when oil would be a major problem but we've buried our
heads in the sands and ignored the problem instead of planning properly.
This is the result and it's NOT going to get better soon. -DAGTA 4/27/06
dirtboy quote:
If she loved you, she would understand you were broke.
This is a woman we're talking about. -- mugs 5/1/06
03/21/2005 08:47 AM Originally posted by: aircooled
ATOT is really more of a Burrito Supreme, it tastes OK, but in the end we're all just shooting it out of our ass....
paraphrased June/July 2006:
[OP hit a 25 ton construction jack laying on the highway with his car]
Shawn: 25 tons? As in 50,000 lbs??!
--xxxx: I'm not sure what else 25 tons could be.
Shawn: There's no way that thing weighs 50,000 lbs!! Maybe a couple hundred.
OP: 25 ton jack meaning it can support 25 tons. It weighed about 60 lbs since I lifted it into my trunk.
-xxx: I have a 2 ton jack at home. I can lift it over my head!! I'm very strong
[hilarity and pwnage of Shawn ensures]
Platypus: Motorola should purchase a vowel next time it's their turn to spin.
kingtas: Lonely young girls + alcohol + new found freedom = SWEET JESUS!!! 9/26/06
johnfreeez(?): paraphrased: "if one could somehow record and later review the thought process and ideas that occur while the brain state is altered, I think we'd be much more enlightened people. 2002-2003?
***** AT signatures of members that I liked ***********
SuperTool:
There is EE in SLEEP, there is no SLEEP in EE.
kamper:
There's no place like 127.0.0.1!
Moonbeam:
It may not be so much a matter that I'm far out, but rather that you have never been anywhere.
The above may just be my usual sarcarm and in no way reflects my real opinion (and,or) may include subtleties of sufficient rarity as to appear to the unsuspecting like total gibberish.
TheLonelyPhoenix:
To an optimist, the glass is half-full. To a pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To an engineer, the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
coolred:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered the ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil.
sao123:
Lim Engineering = Business
GPA -> 0
Originally posted by: bigrash
Quilted Northern haxors my assors
J0hnny:
There are only two rules for success:
1) Never tell everything you know.
2)
PingSpike:
Error reading poptart in Drive A: Delete kids y/n?\
*** torrentspy comments (comments on TS are usually made by the most idiotic people in the world, seriously some of them are so bad....) *********
"Hey --vergil2006 on Monday, December 19 2005 5:39:37 PM
hey man who do you to quit the passwords because i want burn my games you know the games i buy , i want know what programs you use to burn it , and quit the passwords."
[from a WoW torrent]
"no lag sever --bonerz on Friday, January 13 2006 8:30:10 PM
can anyone tell me which sever is da best with less lags"
"ip help --bonerz on Saturday, January 14 2006 11:26:57 PM
where ca i find da ip"
[from a RATM discography torrent]
"this any good? --Terminizor on Monday, May 23 2005 10:17:58 AM
anyone know if this file works and is virus free?"
"only one album --horseph on Friday, June 17 2005 10:32:55 PM
its just one album dont bother"
"No Subject --thegrudgemachine on Saturday, May 28 2005 8:01:58 PM
people for fuks sake...
[ Results Truncated - Show All Files ]
see that button..use it! This is not one cd its all of them...its really startin to bug the crap out of me that every torrent i go to ppl are saying "its incomplete, dont bother"...or"its only 1 part" seriously...come on"
"No Subject --lobtraun on Tuesday, June 21 2005 10:46:31 AM
how is this ska?"
******* signatures/quotes from THE NEW BLUELIGHT forums ***********
alasdairm: Without bad, there can be no good, they are relative...
**** END *******
Enjoy
<br
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