Do you have to make love in-order to be in love?

joey1412

Member
Oct 30, 2000
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A female friend of mine asked me this question b/c a guy she is dating believes that you have to make love in order to be in love. She disagrees and asked me if this is just a guy thing or what.
I say the answer is no (and I'm a guy), and I'm still trying to back that up with some good reasoning. But I'm interested in getting other peoples' opinions. Feel free to ramble.

joey1412
 

Viper GTS

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
38,089
405
136
Absolutely not. See my sig?

"Making love," or "sex" since I'm lazy & don't want to type that every time, is an extension of love. It is NOT love in itself. It is perfectly possible to be in love with someone & not even kiss them. Not common, put perfectly possible.

Sex is the ultimate expression of love, but unfortunately is often confused for love itself. It's been designed to be one of the most enjoyable things available to mankind, & is intended to be shared by people who have committed themselves to one another in marriage. While I won't try to push abstinence until marriage on everyone, I think it's definitely worth a look. If you really want to know if you're in love with someone, don't have sex with them. You don't need that confusing things. You'll get plenty of that once you're married, why ruin it now?

To be frank, the guy's trying to get in her pants.

Viper GTS
 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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If you want me to love you, ya gotta let me make love to you bay-bee...

:disgust:

Of course not! That is one of the oldest lines in the book. While sex can lead to increased emotional intimacy, it is by no means the only road, or even a good road.

I am in an rare cranky mood these days and have some ideas as to what your friend should do to deal with her Lothario, but I don't want to get banned from this lovely place. Needless to say, she needs to find someone who is at least less obvious in his shameless manipulation.

Grumble grumble grumble!


 

IBhacknU

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,855
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OK... here is my space!

<BACK OFF!>

seriously though, I'm in LOVE with many women. The only problem is, they don't even know it. Ahhh, so many beautiful women, and so little time....

oh, and the ring on my finger.

 

Adul

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
32,999
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danny.tangtam.com
I would say you do not need to make love to be in love. This guys sounds like he just wants some.

Can I use WW and dennilfloss has an example.
 

&quot;In love&quot; -- What does it mean? Does it entail commitment or is it just a feeling? Is it different from just love? It would be good to hear from some of the older AT'ers.

BTW Joey, that guy is just trying to get with your friend. That's one of those things that stupid guys say.
 
Oct 9, 1999
15,218
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nope.. you dont have to make love to be in love..

LOVE <> SEX

Dont confuse it. I am in love but I havent made love yet.
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
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Love to me is more of an emotional feeling, instead of physical. If you want to take it further, then that is a personal decision. But there should be no rules or requirements to a relationship. She needs to kick him to the curb, and find a real man. ;)
 

Wipeout667

Senior member
Oct 28, 1999
338
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The guy is just trying to get some... tell her to drop that loser and find someone else.
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
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Tell her that if he really loved her, he wouldn't be trying to pressure her into bed. The guy is an idiot.
 

joey1412

Member
Oct 30, 2000
63
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My biased opinion is that yes, he just wants to get laid and is trying to be manipulative about it. Though, I want to try to stay unbiased and prove that his way of thinking, shouldn't be taken as gospel.

Joey1412
 

Viper GTS

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
38,089
405
136
As biased as your opinion may be, you're absolutely correct. The only lovin' that guy should get is a drop kick into the next century.

Pricks like that give guys a bad name.

Viper GTS
 

IBhacknU

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,855
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This is where Dennilfloss says something crafty followed by

What is Love (Haddaway)
 

sweetrobin

Golden Member
Jan 20, 2000
1,184
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Lord that is the oldest line in the book ... it falls right along with the &quot;if you REALLY love me you would&quot; ... men and women have been using this against each other for centuries ... tell your friend if this guy was so convinced of loving her .. he wouldnt be trying to pressure her to do something she isnt ready for. If she sleeps with him he will probably be one of those guys who loses interests ... (bad move been there done that made the movie and bought the t-shirt) ... you should never let anyone pressure you into something you arent ready to do .. it will just ruin the experience and leave you with alot of regrets.
 

Pretender

Banned
Mar 14, 2000
7,192
0
0
I agree. Many people confuse love for horniness, and think they are in love with every nice set of breasts they pass.

Or, it's just an excuse to get laid.
 

~zonker~

Golden Member
Jan 23, 2000
1,493
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Love, to me, is letting someone be themselves and a desire to make them happy or to see them happy. It's not about getting, it's about giving.

As Paul put it...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
(1CO 13:4~8)

The self-seeking gentleman, who is not patient, wants sex to prove love, I would suggest he has not a clue to the meaning of the word.
 
Oct 9, 1999
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I agree with Sweetrobin and ViperGTS. If the guy really loves her he should be able to show it in other ways other than thinking of his paddy-whacker down below.

I another who hasnt kissed his girl friend. I have kissed her on teh cheeks but not other wise. I love her to death and frankly she would too.

Ask your friend to dump the guy.. he is not worth it. After he has been dumped he will go find another one to do the same thing.
 

BigSmooth

Lifer
Aug 18, 2000
10,483
7
81
If you don't want to make love, I suggest avoiding at all costs the song &quot;Let's Get It On&quot; by the great Marvin Gaye when alone with your significant other!! ;)
 

Pretender

Banned
Mar 14, 2000
7,192
0
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<< I suggest avoiding at all costs the song &quot;Let's Get It On&quot; by the great Marvin Gaye >>

You mean all the movies, commercials, and TV shows are wrong? Damn, I like that song too ;)
 

GOOCH!

Junior Member
Oct 21, 1999
3
0
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Aack! no,and that paul quote was waaay over the top. C'mon love &quot; keeps no record of wrongs&quot; that up there with &quot;Being in love means that I never have to say i am sorry&quot;,wow. well, we all are just chemicals just interaction with each other. He is going for some self gratification.
love is a product of sex,yes. anyways it's just sex. yes it rules. but it isn't a the only thing that is to a relationship. if she doesn't feel that to be right, then she should question him. Trust is more important that sex. if you don't agree well you have your own actions if you do make sure you use caution(i.e. protection) it just way too risky.

-GOOCH! 21 male
 

fragarific

Golden Member
Sep 29, 2000
1,355
0
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If you think you need sex in order to be in love you're probably not capable of having a long-term loving relationship.
 

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