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Do you have to ask the girl's dad's permission before..

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Jesus F'ing Christ! To be engaged means you have an engagement to be married; it's not some friggin limbo between dating and marriage. It means you plan to get married and have made that commitment to each other. Maybe the date's not set yet, but all roads lead to marriage.

So, you don't ask to get engaged to his daughter, you ask if you can marry his daughter; because at that point, if he approves, then you can proceed to proclaim your engagement, or have an engagement party or whatever floats your boat.

Edit: And BTW, no you don't have to ask anything. That tradition went out the window a long time ago; however, it really depends on the people involved if they wish to honor that tradition. Some do, some don't, and it depends on how you were brought up and if you think your SO will think it is a good idea. Let this be a test as to how well you know your SO.
 
What kind of antiquated bullsh!t is that? IF I'm ready to marry a woman she better be capable of making her own decisions.
 
Originally posted by: Mwilding
Originally posted by: Staples
It is a dumb tradition and I sure won't.
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It's not a dumb tradition.

This man's job has been to provide for and protect his daughter. He is going to be handing over that job to you. You don't need to ask his permission, but it shows a lot of class and respect to tell him that you want to marry his daughter and that you would like his blessing.
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Yeah, that's any parents job...duh. If he did it well then she should be capable of making her own decisions as an adult. I can see where this kind of stupid sh!t might be important in the bible belt but here in the big city it's laughable.
 
I told both my wife's mother and father (they're divorced) that I was planning on proposing and that it would mean a lot to me, and I'm sure to her, if they would offer their blessing. My intention is that I'm asking my gf to marry me and it's her decision regardless of what they think. However, I wanted to show some respect for them. They were both glad that I told them beforehand.
 
Toekramp...i totally agree with you here. I'm reading people's responses as if they knew wtf the OP was talking about. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills haha.

OP this is how you do it.
1. You ask the father if you have his blessing/permission to marry his daughter.
2. You ask your gf/so ..."will you marry me"
3. You are now ENGAGED (ie, engaged to be married eventually)

You don't go "hey mr. dad, can i have your permission to be engaged ot your daughter?" ... some time later... "hey mr. dad again, can I now have permission to marry your daughter?"
 
a lot of people here need to realize that the issue at hand isn't whether this tradition is necessary or not, but rather, that the OP doesn't know wtf he's talking about. he thinks that you have to ask permission for engagment and then again when you marry. At least that's what I'm getting at since he goes "Not marriage, just engagement" He obviuosly doesn't know what engagement means.
 
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: effee
You ask her to get engaged? Not marriage, just engagement.
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You don't have to, but it scores big points with a father, especially if he has any doubts about whether you're good enough for his little girl.

If he doesn't approve, you need to be sure you know why. It could be a deal breaker.
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Originally posted by: effee
You ask her to get engaged? Not marriage, just engagement.
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😕

isnt enagement a precursor to marriage?

you dont have to do anything, i suppose its a nice thing to do.
 
No, you don't ask *permission.*

It is polite, and a sign of respect, to ask for his *blessing*.

It's not necessary in our culture, but shows class. And since you're taking his daughter from him, showing respect and class certainly isn't going to hurt your cause.
 
Originally posted by: NogginBoink
No, you don't ask *permission.*

It is polite, and a sign of respect, to ask for his *blessing*.

It's not necessary in our culture, but shows class. And since you're taking his daughter from him, showing respect and class certainly isn't going to hurt your cause.
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Heh. You know, I like to think of myself as a sexist, but this comment sort of sickens me.
 
it really depends on the family. Some don't care and other require it. It would be classy of you to ask though, shows that you are serious and have a lot of respect for your gf's family. Even if it is not tradition in her family or yours, you will still score points =).
 
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