Do you have a standard set of puns you always use?

[teddymines]

It's a very bad habit, mostly from my 10th grade chem teacher. I'm sure brutuskend has a few...

When someone asks if I got a hair cut: "No, I got them all cut."

When someone complements food I bring in:
Co-worker: This is great!
Me: You wouldn't believe how easy it is to make.
Co-worker: Really?
Me: Yeah, I just tell my wife to make it.

When someone says someone else is funny: "Yeah, but looks aren't everything."

When a sentence ends with the name Joe Cocker: "Cocker, I hardly know her!"

-----

When we were kids and heard an old joke: "That's about as old as the crust in your underwear"
or
"That's as old as the Grand Canyon, but still a pretty good crack"

Whatca eating under there?
Under where?
(repeat until they get it)

 

[Anubis]

i just say what comes to my mind

 

[Electric Amish]

Do you need a bag?

No, thanks, I'm already married.

amish

 

[Kalvin00]

What'chu talkin' bout Willis?

 

[Moonbeam]

I pink therefore I ham.

What foods these morsels be.

 

[ElFenix]

yeah, i do that er-her thing sometimes

 

[Zebo]

"You're either and asset or a liability".... That usually gets people moving around me.