Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
my husband.
i tell him everything, we are there for each other when great things happen and when we need someone to lean on. If that is not the definition of a best friend, i don't know what is.
I would never cheapen my wife's status by referencing her in the friend category....even best friend.
How is that cheapening anything? I actually find it to be much more endearing than just calling her "wife" or calling him "husband."
Calling somebody a best friend is like calling one car sleeker looking than another.....it's a judgement based on a category. You wouldn't say a Saab Griffin is the sleekest looking car, right? I'm saying my wife isn't even in the category.
Originally posted by: dug777
So you're saying those of us who have a best mate who isn't our SO are somehow bad people? Lesser beings? :roll:
I consider my gf to be my gf, which inherently means to me that i love her & trust & enjoy spending time with her...
Originally posted by: pclstyle
Originally posted by: dug777
So you're saying those of us who have a best mate who isn't our SO are somehow bad people? Lesser beings? :roll:
I consider my gf to be my gf, which inherently means to me that i love her & trust & enjoy spending time with her...
mm, you might end learn the hard way that it's good to have some close friends to support you and keep you on the the straight and narrow, especially when things aren't going perfectly between you and your SO. it's way too easy to succumb to emotions, stress, or simple boredom without someone there who actually cares about you, watching your back. In most cases, sure it'll be your SO. but sometimes it won't be, because of simple circumstance -- and you'll need a different way to keep yourself emotionally sober.
i don't have a best friend, but i do have an SO. and there's more than a few times when i see the benefit of someone who can be on the sidelines, give you an objective opinion, let you know when you're fvcked up and when you're not. and please don't spew any of that bullsh!t about "no one understands us but each other cause we know each other so well and we're so damn unique snowflakes melt before they touch our skin".
a best friend doesn't have to be a friggin project, you don't have to keep them happy or pamper to their desires, they're not your SO. they're just that rare individual who actually gives a sh!t about what's best for you, and aren't afraid to tell you what it is and why. they don't exist to provoke or revel in your drama, and they're sure as hell not there to help you eiffel tower some hooker you picked up because you're in a bad rut with your girlfriend.
Originally posted by: Josh123
One is my current GF and the other is a guy i've know since 7th grade, pretty much my other brother.
Originally posted by: Kyanzes
I have a lot of hollow relationships, but no friends at all. Had to serve some time because of someone I considered a best friend when I was a lot more naive than I'm now.
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: Kyanzes
I have a lot of hollow relationships, but no friends at all. Had to serve some time because of someone I considered a best friend when I was a lot more naive than I'm now.
Oh my. What happened?
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
Nope, don't really have one.
Originally posted by: Kyanzes
You seem a bit sad about it. Don't know, having a friend also means a certain responsibility. I know it's probably a bit far fetched of an analogy (but you don't have a very good friend anyway), but consider this: you have a dog, and you have to take care of it. But people change, and one day you may think, that you don't really want the dog anymore. To have it killed (by a specialist I mean) is a *bit* harsh. I mean you had the dog for a while, so it's quite hard if not impossible to do. You can't release it to the wilderness either, couldn't take care of itself, not even legal I guess so it's, again, a not very efficient solution. Give it away? But the dog is fond of you, maybe spent too much time with you also, and perhaps it would be quite hard for it to adapt to the habits of a possible new owner. Or maybe nobody wants it. So what? You (likely) end up keeping the dog even though you don't really want it (you are too lazy to take care of it / spend too much time away from home / simply changed and not interested in it anymore / you have a GF/BF who doesn't like it / etc.). Of course you can simply end a relation when it comes to people. Easy. Is it? Nope, at least not for me. Even thoguh there are people in my past I had relation with - and those relations are now non-existent - I keep thinking about them sometimes. Some of them even calls me now and then. But I don't want their friendship anymore. How can you tell them that? Well, I tried, doesn't work. There is an end to common interests, there comes a time when everything's been said, nothing left to share, old things keep coming up and you feel the relation is tired. And you feel bad about ending the relation, but... what else to do? People at least can be abandoned, they can take care of themselves. But it still hurts sometimes. --->>> So having friends my affect your life a lot longer than the time those relationships lasted. I'm not sure if you lose a lot by choosing not to have friends. Or not finding one.