Do you buy or make gifts or plan date times etc because you enjoy doing it, because it pleases your partner and you enjoy that, or because their a little upset or you're in the doghouse if you don't? Do you see these types of things as required/ preferred/ nonessential/ should not be done in a relationship? From the opposite point of view, do you like having such things done for you? Would you stay in a relationship where they aren't done?
More thoughts?
Eh... what the hey. It helps when I write since that's when I find out what my views are on a subject.
I buy gifts and plan dates because I know people are fragile and weak. Because I know that a hug or a thought or a random present that I conjure when I think about the gem that is a person I know is meaningless to me but in the world of the other person, it is that enabling factor that allows them to catch a glimpse of their own frailty and humanity. It is this that lets them open a door into their past and confront those haunting demons that lurk beneath.
I don't care much for anything. I think meaninglessness itself is meaningless. People try to get me stuff and do stuff for me and I smile and keep going along with it because I know that if I tell them that what they do is so pointless it's funny, they will not be able to handle the onslaught of emotion and fear. Plus, a sort of recognition that I should exert a modicum of effort to preserve myself compels me to accept a reduction of chaos and an accedence to norms and mores.
In a relationship, for most people, these things are required. I think this is because people are too afraid to discover what they are and have to hide it in material things and judge behavior to accept a secure notion of reality in order to cope. Since direct experience and brutal acceptance is so hard, doing things that temporarily point to transcendence of course is preferred.
Would I stay in a relationship where I didn't have to put up with all that nonsense? Yes, I like everything raw
. Then again, I have incredible and unrealistic ideas about how things are and how they ought to be. If the other person is sincere and merely thinls this is proper, I recognize it as such, there's no reason I should not enjoy the sweet smell of a bouquet of flowers, some chocolate, a note, or a thought expressed as a result of reflection. It allows me to see the mind of another and that is vitally important to me. At the same time, I prefer more direct contact that is alot more meaningful. But on the other hand, there's a time for anything and when extremes are not experienced, something should serve to break the mundane since if nothing breaks it, a person thinks that this is ALL there is and that is simply not true, I think.
random and foolish enough for ya?
Cheers !
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