There's some guy who "Ranks America". Lots of the stuff is kinda stupid but check it out.
http://rankingamerica.wordpress.com/
I thought I would address your post since I just started laughing when I read it.
1. Still more freedom than 90% of all countries.
There are 90 countries in the world that are considered free. So you got at least the number right. That adds up to about half the countries in the world. You can then add about another 50 countries that are partly free which leaves us with like 50 countries that have no freedom. So your claim that we have more freedom than 90% of all countries is false.
2. More different kinds of high quality people from all backgrounds than all other countries combined
Care to back this up? I don't even know how you quantified it.
3. 90% of the population living under functional atheism (defined as real daily life without God, and periodic perfunctory attention to religion during marriages, funerals, and baby births - lasting a few days and then receding into the unseen background)
The USA is very religious with 65% of our population finding it very important in their daily lives.
4. Sense of life and joie de vivre among the best in the world
The United States ranks 105 out of 111 countries for the happiest people or 17th behind Mexico depending on which happiness report you look at.
5. Egalitarianism at a minimum, although it gets a lot of lip service.
The USA ranks almost dead last for inequality among OECD countries. Not a good sign of egalitarianism.
6. Less caving in to irrational envirofascism (again lots of lip service, but for example Keystone will get built sooner or later and we're fracking up a storm)
This is a hot button environmental topic. Rather than get into the politics of it lets just look at our environmental record. Yale's EPI index ranks us 33rd out of 178 countries. Not bad but dead last for the developed world.
7. Black president elected by 90% non-black population (where else would that happen?)
Well if you read the news recently you would notice that an African country, Zambia, with almost no white people has a white president. Malawi elected a female president a few years ago. Obama is not a special snowflake. That's just off the top of my head.
8. Natural beauty and resources in top 10% of all countries? Check.
I personally find the western USA to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth but there are many others. Natural resources. As far as Natural Resources we're not in the top 10%. We're number 2. Fist bump we're awesome!
9. Hated and envied by many countries? Check.
Not something I would put on my list of why the USA is a great country. I'm taking my fist bump back.
10. Still the country that invented and will continue to perfect freedom as the central tenet? Check.
No. Just no. First you need to understand that there are many freedoms. We do not have them all in the USA but that does not mean we are not free. So freedom as an overall subject existed long before the USA was a country. Even freedom of religion has existed in parts of Europe since the 1500s or 1600s. Saying we invented and are perfecting freedom is just the height of ignorance.
11. Most powerful military that protects all the other stupid little collectivist countries that don't have one? Check.
Yay finally something we're number 1 at. We have the biggest military in the world. The world spends $1.7 trillion and we spend 39% of that. Yay! Fist bump again! Your second part is just rude and disrespectful. Where was the USA when Sudan needed us? What about in the CAR? Congo? What did we do to stop the Khmer Rouge? And so on...
12. Invented baseball and football, sports that emphasize intellectuality and individuality over the mindless robotic collectivistic boring repetition of soccer? Check.
Go Raiders! Honestly your opinion on sports is another stupid thing that has nothing to do with the greatest country in the world. I'm taking my fist bump back once again.
13. Invented jazz, the music of on-the-spot improvisation and an artistic celebration of freedom? Check.
I like Jazz too but I can't believe you brought it up here. No more fist bumps. I just want to facepalm.