Do you believe it is possible to change your personality?

[wade3]

Have you or know anyone who has changed their personality?

Reason I'm asking is because I want to have more self-esteem, confidence and social skills. I've tried but it doesn't feel natural and its easy to revert back to my old self. Anyone here experience this and how did you deal with it?

Cheers

 

[glenn beck]

Of course you can, sometimes it is a slow process, or other times you need something dramatic to happen to you to have your personality altered

 

[Newbian]

Depends on how much booze you have had so far.

 

[funkymatt]

IIRC neural synapsis are constantly changing and making new connections, but the cycle for your entire brain is something like 2 years? I could be way off on that number though. Just start hanging out with people, it will get easier to meet new people and go places once you start doing it. Getting started is the hardest part.

 

[KeithTalent]

I think so. I am much less introverted than I used to be.

However, recently I have been trying to be more of an asshole, but am having a difficult time doing it.

KT

 

[SlitheryDee]

Yeah you can, but you won't unless you give yourself a reason to. An outgoing personality is a trait people adopt as a result of being around other people a lot and having to deal with the issues that entails. In my experience you don't develop the personality before you receive the stimulus to develop that personality. If you place yourself around people often your personality will change to make the experience easier with little to no conscious effort on your part. It may take a long time, but it will happen. Self-confidence and self-esteem are entwined with each other and usually deeply dependent on other people's observed reactions to you, so solving the personality issue will go a great deal toward those aims as well. The rest can be handled by tackling both day-to-day and uncommon problems as they occur and reliably surmounting them. That means you should be doing all the things you've put off because you weren't sure of your capability to finish them, not just things that have to do with other people.

I am no expert by any means, but I've noticed many positive changes in my own personality since taking up work that requires me to deal with customers on a daily basis and do it well. So what I'm telling you is a result of what I've seen in myself. The crucial issue is that you do things and succeed at them. That is, or should be, the bedrock of all confidence and self-esteem IMO.

 

[AreaCode707]

Absolutely. It takes intentional effort and lots of practice. Repetition is what will change it from "acting like" to "you".

 

[Babbles]

It would be bizarre if you couldn't change your personality. People do it all of the times with addiction, change in food/beverage preferences, diet and exercise, OCD & ADD type behaviours. Granted depending on what you want to improve it may not be a walk in the park, but just do it.

 

[waffleironhead]

From my experience, personality was/is tied to preexisting relationships. When I left home and moved far away from anyone i knew, it was easy to reinvent myself. Tho, I do find myself backslipping into the role I played when I go home to visit.

 

[zinfamous]

Drink more. do it publicly.

That should help.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Absolutely. It takes intentional effort and lots of practice. Repetition is what will change it from "acting like" to "you".

Yep. Did it myself. Took years of conscious effort, and I'm still working on it. Got me out of 5 years of near clinical depression though, so it's definitely worth it.

 

[sactoking]

If you believe Nelson & Quick: no.

You can change pretty much anything else, but 'personality' is by definition a stable set of characteristics.

Many things that people believe are "personality" are not, they're behavior, locus of control, attitudes, values, ethics, etc.

 

[zCypher]

Well, I gotta go in 4 minutes but here goes my opinion.

I don't think you should look at it as "changing your personality", but as "growing into a better personality" that is still you but improved in the aspects you think need improving. You don't need to be a multiple-personality nutcase - just work on it and improve it - significant improvements rarely happen overnight! Just remember that you limit yourself mentally - if you think you can't do it, you DEFINITELY can't do it. Leave it open, don't guarantee your failure before you start and you are sure to make good progress.

Oh and good luck (not that you'll need it )!

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
I think so. I am much less introverted than I used to be.

However, recently I have been trying to be more of an asshole, but am having a difficult time doing it.

KT

Really? I found the change from being a nice easy-going guy to being a total asshole very natural and easy.
Boot camp started the process for me, but by the time my 4 years were up, the change was complete.