do you and your friends turn into rivals after graduating into the "real" world?

[DanTMWTMP]

I've known my aptmates since high school, and my rooommate since elementary school...

i still have close contact w/ a lot of my childhood and teenage friends...


they're close friends..awesome...great...

i have friends in my EE major that i love to hang out with.


friends do what friends do...goof off with each other, have fun and kick it w/ each other...talk about crap and chics and stuff..



ok enough..


when we all start to get jobs and make money, I know i'll truly hate it to make less than any of my friends. I mean, we all came from similar upbringings w/ similar education and stuff. To think that I'll make less than a close friend of mine is unthinkable for me.

A couple of my friends already graduated (i'm a 4th yr EE student btw).

After we graduate, for me this whole friendship thing might turn into a rivalry with each other, because I cannot imagine myself being lower than my friends/peers, especially when we all had basically the same chance of success.

Do any of you have any experience on this? I'm about a year or two from entering the job market and begin the "real" life. I will use all my power to be more successful than my friends, and losing their friendship might be a possibility. Did this happen to any of you?

don't get me wrong...I value friendship...my aptmates and my click are like a 2nd family to me...

Cliffnotes: people have close friends...but once you enter the "real" world after graduating from college...do your friends turn into rivals? Being brought up from similar upbringings and education, you and each of your friends have simlar chances in success. If you fail to succeed..regret, and envy of your friends will take place no? hence, friends in real life are more like rivals no?...

 

[vi edit]

I won't say "rivals", but it definitely makes things difficult at times.

Very few of my friends...well...actually none of them really were in fields that paid as well as mine, and landed jobs with the luxuries and benefits that mine provided. My wife also gets paid quite well for the work she does and we are very smart with our money.

We've got the house, the cars, the toys, the retirement packages, money to eat out, money to go on vacation, ect while for most of our friends a $40 tab eating out really takes a chunk out of their checking account.

They are jealous of what we own and what we can do, and it's hard to find things that we all want to do that they can afford.

There have been some moments where things were rather tense.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I won't say "rivals", but it definitely makes things difficult at times.

Very few of my friends...well...actually none of them really were in fields that paid as well as mine, and landed jobs with the luxuries and benefits that mine provided. My wife also gets paid quite well for the work she does and we are very smart with our money.

We've got the house, the cars, the toys, the retirement packages, money to eat out, money to go on vacation, ect while for most of our friends a $40 tab eating out really takes a chunk out of their checking account.

They are jealous of what we own and what we can do, and it's hard to find things that we all want to do that they can afford.

There have been some moments where things were rather tense.

dang...

in this world..
money > friends eh?
well, not priority wise, but in terms of power and ego and pride....

 

[royaldank]

I, along with my friends, don't care what people are making. As long as my friends can afford their lifestyle and are working, what do I care how much they are making? I think you worry too much about other people. Do what's best for you. If you get a lower paying job, so be it. Who cares? It's not a game.

 

[spaceman]

absolutely not by my deifinition of a friend.
to the contrary, i want to see my true friends do exceedingly well for themselves.

 

[Megatomic]

I only maintain contact with one male friend from childhood and he's now my brother-in-law so I really have no choice there. I do still see another friend's sister occassionally. She was too young to be anything but my friend's baby sister back then but now as we are both adults I can actually talk to her and enjoy the conversation. She's pretty cool, smart, and even relatively good looking. It's too bad she keeps hooking up with the wrong kind of guys.

Aside from them I see none of my childhood friends. They could be dead for all I know (or care).

 

[maziwanka]

i dont have that problem now.

 

[Danman]

I really don't see how that matters to me with my friends. My true friends I don't think it would bother me. It is a matter of luck and persistance for them to get a job, if they get a better job then me; good for them!

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: ncircle
absolutely not by my deifinition of a friend.
to the contrary, i want to see my true friends do exceedingly well for themselves.

yeah true..

actually, i saw a good friend i haven't seen for 4 years. He was super duper smart in high school, and I kind of expected him to be a awesome engineer grad student that's going to do some R&D for some big name company....

but nop...he graduated...and now he's interning for some tax firm doing their financial crap....

damn....

i was kind of sad, but deep deeeep deeeep inside of me, i thought yes...i might have a chance agaisnt him..call me evil yes

It's just that it might get in the way with reunions and stuff...


I was talking to this one TA who already works for some civilian weapons development company that is contracted by the military (he's a year older than me, and already has a masters in CS, working on his BS in EE, while company pays for his education..etc)

he says once you reached a new status, the next tax bracket...who your friends are around you change. He says you make friends according to your status. He says he doesn't talk to his college buds anymore. He has new friends who pull in 100k+ a year....lounging around, etc...


i mean i'll feel awesome if one of my friends hit it big..i just have to make sure that i'll hit it bigger than he/she did..

 

[GTaudiophile]

None of my friends are really in the same field as me, and all but a small handful are in the same position as me: Dartmouth or GA Tech grads, unemployed, living at home, and don't want to sell their soul and youth to the corporate world.

So, none of them are rivals. Two work for investment banking companies, work 90 hours per week, have little time for anything besides work, and don't earn enough money to keep up with the standards or living in their areas.

 

[vi edit]

I'm not saying that we are worse friends because of jobs, but it's human nature to be jealous of other's wealth. My friends that are/were renting small 1 & 2BR apartments and driving around in old beat up cars saw us in a nice new home with new(er) nice cars ect, yadda yadda yadda.

My friends chose their professions and knew going into it that it wouldn't pay as much as other professions. And they more or less beat themselves up for it after seeing what other fields could get them.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I'm not saying that we are worse friends because of jobs, but it's human nature to be jealous of other's wealth. My friends that are/were renting small 1 & 2BR apartments and driving around in old beat up cars saw us in a nice new home with new(er) nice cars ect, yadda yadda yadda.

My friends chose their professions and knew going into it that it wouldn't pay as much as other professions. And they more or less beat themselves up for it after seeing what other fields could get them.

So what field are you in exactly?

 

[Beattie]

All of my old roommates make like double what I do and only maybe one of them really deserves it.

I dont really care though and it gives some incentive to not just be complacent where you are and to always look for something better.

 

[Booster]

money > friends eh?

Dang, if you got money you don't need any friends.

I mean, then everybody is your friend!

 

[Feldenak]

I'm glad I'm not one of your "friends"

 

[vi edit]

So what field are you in exactly?

I hit the IT field before the bubble burst.