Do NOT EAT new KFC 'Boneless Wings'

[UNCjigga]

Aiight...so the past few days' lunches of strawberries, pears, carrots, apples and grapefruit was a lil' low on substance...so I decided to eat some KFC today. I'm all set to order some good ol' original recipe 2 piece breast & wing (chicken & biscuit) when I see they have these new 'Boneless Wings'. Of course, me being the Limited Time Only Fast Food Whore that I am (McRib!!!) I just HAD to try them. Here's how it went down:

12:30 PM - Ordered a Honey BBQ boneless wing combo meal
12:34 PM - Got my order...in a bag. "Hey biatch...I said 'Eat-in!' Even says so on my ticket!" She gives me a tray. I dump contents on to tray. "Hey Biatch - I said mashed taters 'n gravy, not these fuggin' potato wedges!" She gives me mashed potatoes.
12:36 PM - Noticed I got 2 extra chicken 'winglets'. Sweet! Proceeded to chow down.
12:53 PM - Finished eating. Left 3 pieces of chicken. Couldn't finish 'em...tasted kinda funny. Didn't feel like chicken in my mouth...felt like generic potato logs (the kind you get in public school) with honey bbq sauce. Very mushy...not crunchy like I had envisioned. Already feeling very heavy. Got refill for drink.

1:15 PM - Drank 2 servings of soda and I'm still thirsty...proceed to guzzle 24 ounce bottled water back at work
1:40 PM - Oh sh!t. Literally
1:50 PM - Even after goin to the bathroom...still feeling bloated and heavy. Stomach is queasy...

2:10 PM - Back to the toilet...though this time it ain't coming out my arse-end...
2:20 PM - Feeling hot and sweaty. Removing layers of clothing...
2:40 PM - 2nd vomit.

3:45 PM - Tired...sleepy...feeling like crap. Boss says to work from home for the rest of the day. Jokingly tells me NOT to eat at KFC again as doing so will violate health plan/life insurance/OSHA rules!

5:00 PM - I've now lost more than I've eaten today. Feeling weak. Go out for fresh air...

5:45 PM - Starting to recover...feeling better. Decide to post about my experience with this food from hell on ATOT...

 

[hdeck]

hahahaha, that's what you get for eating fake chicken.

 

[Hoober]

yuck

 

[AgentEL]

hmmm... thanks for the warning

 

[Ameesh]

and to think arbys is worse then kfc!

 

[SickBeast]

maybe that's what you get for calling the kfc employee a "biach". maybe she put a lil' sum'n sum'n in your chicken

 

[pray4mojo]

what a wonderful and delightful experience to share

 

[Dudd]

Come on, their celebrity spokesman was willing to eat food out of the trash, so how good can these fake wings be? Go to a real chicken place.

 

[A5]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
and to think arbys is worse then kfc!

Oh hell no. Arby's is teh own.

Giant Roast Beef and Large Curly Fries ownz0r j00!

 

[ElFenix]

well at least you weren't posting while praying to the porcelain goddess as some people around here think they should do.

 

[Storm]

Are you sure "that biatch" didnt get you back?

 

[FoBoT]

you can get food poisoning anywhere

want to come over for dinner sometime?

 

[murphy55d]

This is why I don't eat KFC OR Arby's.

 

[Shaftatplanetquake]

Originally posted by: Dudd
Come on, their celebrity spokesman was willing to eat food out of the trash, so how good can these fake wings be? Go to a real chicken place.

Astute observation. But I am here to defend said celebrity. The damned article of food in question was right on top of a clean-looking magazine and only had a tiny nibble off of it.

I would eat it.

 

[UNCjigga]

Originally posted by: Storm
Are you sure "that biatch" didnt get you back?

The only way she could've was by puttin somethin in the mashed potatoes...which I've never had a problem with (I mean c'mon they're just typical instant powdered stuff.) She never touched the chicken after I took it out the bag and put it on my tray.

 

[UNCjigga]

Originally posted by: Shaftatplanetquake

Originally posted by: Dudd
Come on, their celebrity spokesman was willing to eat food out of the trash, so how good can these fake wings be? Go to a real chicken place.

Astute observation. But I am here to defend said celebrity. The damned article of food in question was right on top of a clean-looking magazine and only had a tiny nibble off of it.

I would eat it.

I assume you're talking about Jason Alexander/George Costanza...but the incident you're referring to was in a Seinfeld episode...not real life...correct??!!

EDIT: Okay I remember...it was the episode where is girlfriend/fiancee's mom thought he was a bum and he kept doing stupid stuff in front of her!!

 

[Yossarian]

strange, both my parents have also gotten violently ill from KFC

 

[optimistic]

You can't finish 6 wings? WEAKSAUCE!

 

[MacBaine]

Originally posted by: Shaftatplanetquake

Originally posted by: Dudd
Come on, their celebrity spokesman was willing to eat food out of the trash, so how good can these fake wings be? Go to a real chicken place.

Astute observation. But I am here to defend said celebrity. The damned article of food in question was right on top of a clean-looking magazine and only had a tiny nibble off of it.

I would eat it.

Was it below the rim of the can?

 

[Schadenfreude]

Honestly, though - if you've been eating healthy for a while, any fast food would do that to ya - I haven't had McD's in months, and I got a hold of some GC's so i decided to use them - got the #1, and boy was I sick for the rest of the day . . .

 

[human2k]

Originally posted by: SickBeast
maybe that's what you get for calling the kfc employee a "biach". maybe she put a lil' sum'n sum'n in your chicken

Exactamundo. THere chicken isn't fake(atleast the ones Ive been too). My friends who work at KFC told me that they use left over chicken that they couldn't sell the previous night to make chicken pot pies, hony bbq wings, taco rap, and other amazing items (depends on how creative they get).

 

[mAdD INDIAN]

Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
Aiight...so the past few days' lunches of strawberries, pears, carrots, apples and grapefruit was a lil' low on substance...so I decided to eat some KFC today. I'm all set to order some good ol' original recipe 2 piece breast & wing (chicken & biscuit) when I see they have these new 'Boneless Wings'. Of course, me being the Limited Time Only Fast Food Whore that I am (McRib!!!) I just HAD to try them. Here's how it went down:

12:30 PM - Ordered a Honey BBQ boneless wing combo meal
12:34 PM - Got my order...in a bag. "Hey biatch...I said 'Eat-in!' Even says so on my ticket!" She gives me a tray. I dump contents on to tray. "Hey Biatch - I said mashed taters 'n gravy, not these fuggin' potato wedges!" She gives me mashed potatoes.
12:36 PM - Noticed I got 2 extra chicken 'winglets'. Sweet! Proceeded to chow down.
12:53 PM - Finished eating. Left 3 pieces of chicken. Couldn't finish 'em...tasted kinda funny. Didn't feel like chicken in my mouth...felt like generic potato logs (the kind you get in public school) with honey bbq sauce. Very mushy...not crunchy like I had envisioned. Already feeling very heavy. Got refill for drink.

1:15 PM - Drank 2 servings of soda and I'm still thirsty...proceed to guzzle 24 ounce bottled water back at work
1:40 PM - Oh sh!t. Literally
1:50 PM - Even after goin to the bathroom...still feeling bloated and heavy. Stomach is queasy...

2:10 PM - Back to the toilet...though this time it ain't coming out my arse-end...
2:20 PM - Feeling hot and sweaty. Removing layers of clothing...
2:40 PM - 2nd vomit.

3:45 PM - Tired...sleepy...feeling like crap. Boss says to work from home for the rest of the day. Jokingly tells me NOT to eat at KFC again as doing so will violate health plan/life insurance/OSHA rules!

5:00 PM - I've now lost more than I've eaten today. Feeling weak. Go out for fresh air...

5:45 PM - Starting to recover...feeling better. Decide to post about my experience with this food from hell on ATOT...

I had a similar experience in India, except I lost 15lbs, stayed sick for 1.5months, vomited more times than I can count, had my blood tested atleast 6 times, a few stool tests (EWWW!) and urine tests.

Why? Cause I ate some take-out chicken curry in a small town. My weak-ass stomach that has been pampered in the West couldn't handle it. Apparently everyone else who ate it was fine.

Always be careful with what you eat, I am!

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Jehovah
Honestly, though - if you've been eating healthy for a while, any fast food would do that to ya - I haven't had McD's in months, and I got a hold of some GC's so i decided to use them - got the #1, and boy was I sick for the rest of the day . . .

That's what I was going to say. It probably wasnt necessarily the KFC or the boneless wings, it was the fact that you've been eating healthy.. and your body freaked out when you put garbage into it.

 

[Atrail]

Jason Alexander is in the commercial for these wings.
Sue him

 

[Beau]

Good freaking God! TMI!!!!