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Do it once and it doesn't stop :)

B

BigToque

Lifer
Ever since I worked up the courage to talk to a girl at the bar for the first time, I've been talking to many now, and I don't fear it anymore!

In the last 3 nights I've been out (not 3 nights in a row), I've spoken to more girls then I had in the first 6 months since my 18th birthday combined. It's so great. Sometimes I get blown off, other times I get a good conversation going.

Going to the bar is actually fun now!

Unfortunately getting the nerves to talk to someone isnt the only problem. I still have a problem with my self-confidence. When I'm talking to someone, I'm always thinking that she doesn't like me cause I've got braces, or that I'm overweight, or they think I'm just an idiot. I always feel like 'why would they want to be with me when they could be with <insert attractive guy in bar here>.

I have such negative thoughts about myself. I really wish there is a way I could find out what I'm like through someone else's eyes and see how people think of me.

1 problem down, the biggest problem still to go...
 
lucky you 🙂

for low self-esteem, i found that martial arts works very well. it gives you great confidence and gets you into shape faster than you'll believe. you may want to look into it 🙂
 
Stefan,

What do you use to initiate conversation? I find that if a girl starts the conversation, I can talk to her for hours, but the ones I really like never start the conversation, only the &quot;2nd fiddles&quot; do 😉
 
Realize that you are a sensitive person and some woman will appreciate that quality in you

If a girl does not like your shy traits she is not the one for you

Many fish
 
tomc, i think you hit the nail on the head. i have long since bemoaned the fact that i don't get any great girls b/c i'm too much of a nice guy and all that, and i just recently met an incredible girl that is tired of dating assholes and realized that i'm so much of a better guy than anyone she's dated. makes all that time being pissed off at being passed over for asses almost worth it, esp since she is so way out of my league given anything else....hell if i know how i really got her🙂
 
harpomx,

I've tried a bunch of things. It usually starts off with &quot;Hi there, hows it going?&quot;, or some variation of that.

bigbootydaddy,

I'm 18.
 
Hey, as long as you accept the fact that you will probably get shot down 70-80% of the time (may be too high but the lower you expectations the better!) you will have a lot of fun AND feel better about yourself!
 
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