> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
> >
> > Day number 180
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > Day number 181
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > Day number 182
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
> >
> > DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with
> bizarre little
> dangling
> > objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
> I am forced to
> eat dry
> > cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
> the hope of escape,
> and
> the>
> > mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
> occasional piece of
> furniture.
> > Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
> >
> > DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
> weaving around
> their
> > feet while they were walking almost succeeded,
> must try this at
> the top
> > of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
> repulse these vile
> oppressors,
> > I once again induced myself to vomit on their
> favorite
> chair...must try
> this
> > on their bed.
> >
> > DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them
> the headless body,
> in
> > attempt to make them aware of what I am capable
> of, and to try to
> strike
> > fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
> condescended about
> what a
> > good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working
> according to plan.
> >
> > DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic
> they are. For no
> good reason
>
> > I was chosen for the water torture. This time
> however it included
> a
> > burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What
> sick minds could
> invent
> > such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece
> of thumb still
> stuck
> > between my teeth.
> >
> > DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of
> their accomplices.
> I was
> > placed in solitary throughout the event.
> However, I could hear
> the noise
> > and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they
> call "beer". More
>
> > importantly I overheard that my confinement was
> due to MY power
> of
> > "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
> use it to my
> advantage.
> >
> > DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
> flunkies and
> maybe
> > snitches. The dog is routinely released and
> seems more than happy
> to
> > return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on
> the other hand
> has got
> to>
> > be an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
> I am certain he
> reports
> > my every move. Due to his current placement in
> the metal room his
> safety
> > is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter
> of time...