chadder -- or should you say "i'm actually chuck norris, please dont hurt me!"
?
lordmo
?
lordmo
I, as a proud American like all 50 states of the United States!
I'm not sure what problem you guys have with texas, there good people there. I wonder if there are other places that you don't like, like maybe New York or Illinois or maybe California.
I'm not sure what problem you guys have with texas, there good people there. I wonder if there are other places that you don't like, like maybe New York or Illinois or maybe California.
"Texas"
Texas comes in second as far as the most worthless states in the U.S. are concerned. It ranks just below New Jersey and slightly above Delaware. One of the reasons Texas is so worthless is that it really isn't part of the United States. It's a well concealed fact that since 1993 Texas has not been a part of the United States. "What? That's Nonsense!," you may say...well allow me to prove this fact.
Texas has long been renowned for its crazy gun slinging residents, and it's insane love of megomacromachoism. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the average Texan is a modest 5'3" tall. In any case, Texans are, for the most part, completely insane and overly patriotic to the extent that they would go to war for Texas, rather than the United States. It is no secret that Texans place their state on a pedestal above all others, and the whole of the country. Therefore it should be no surprise that Texans should want to form their own country. Now of course the U.S. army would certainly crush any measly opposition it faced if Texas decided to secede from the union, so rather than have some sort of national incident with inbred Texans getting massacred by the Army, the U.S. government came to an "agreement" with Texas.
The conditions of the agreement have been unknown until now. I have conducted an intense and grueling interrogation of a witness who for the purposes of this report will be called "Chuck." During the early 90s Texas passed a bunch of controversial and insane laws allowing such things as the carrying of a concealed weapon in public. The U.S. senate, having realized a long time before Davy Crockett that Texas was a "lost cause", decided that something had to be done in order to prevent other states from blatantly abusing the constitution. The final solution was do "deannex" Texas into Mexico, and allow Texas to set up an independent government.
Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well it's all true, in 1993 under hidden executive order 3967OEO, Texas lost it's statehood and became an independent nation. Texans were never told of the order, but continue to pass crazy and insane laws, now without the threat of the Supreme Court overturning them. Here are some other facts about Texas Law, and the way things are in Texas.
1) "It is hereby declared that the swearing upon of any barnyard animal or woodland creature shall be a state offense punishable by a minimum 50 dollar fine and/or 5 whacks of the vermin paddle."
2) "It is unlawful for Non Texas residents to enter Texas and swear on barnyard animals for the sole purpose of being forced to bear the 5 whacks from the vermin paddle."
3) The vermin paddle is pictured (left) as punishment it is shoved up a convicts rectum in a sudden and violent motion.
4) "All these here youngins be made to learn themselves some grammer and spellings and the likes, by being forced to go to a learning station or workings on the farms with their pa's." This article is tied back to the founder of texas "John Texas" A renowned inbred poet and politician as well as a fierce pitch fork throwing champion. One of his most famous poems "I bes John Texas" is set to be engraved on Texan License Plates in the future.
5) "Texans shall be allowed to vote themselves a pressedunt"
6) Chuck Norris is the recognized Pressedunt of Texas, he is also believed by Texans to be a God.
7) Upon entering Texas, instead of seeing "Texas Welcomes you!" signs, or something of the like, there are just statues of Chuck Norris miles of them. They are about 20-23 feet talll. The locals compare these statues to the ones on Easter Island, because no one knows where any of the strange and yet mystical statues came from.
8) It took 40,000 tons of stone and 800,000 mexicans to construct all of the "Norris Monuments".
9) Chuck Norris has never actually been in Texas.
10) The average Texans I.Q. is around 54, about that of a gibbon monkey.
The Proposal for Texas
Chuck Norris will be bought off by the U.S. government and paid to film a new movie called "Walker: Bloody Texas Rampage," in which Norris will randomly kill Texans in the streets of Texas' major cities. After Norris has publicly defamed himself he will be shot dead at the conclusion of the film, this will be done in order to enrage the Texans, since they will see it as a form of deicide. Also, the Army and Air Force will destroy the famous Norris monuments pictured above, thus further provoking the Texans to attack the U.S. Once the Texan attack begins the U.S. will have a solid reason to publicly admit Texas has renounced it's statehood. Texas will be invaded and anyone who resists will be killed, thus "cleansing" the state. Should any part of this plan fail, Texas will be bombed with Nuclear warheads and "deannexed" into Mexico.
Texas comes in second as far as the most worthless states in the U.S. are concerned. It ranks just below New Jersey and slightly above Delaware. One of the reasons Texas is so worthless is that it really isn't part of the United States. It's a well concealed fact that since 1993 Texas has not been a part of the United States. "What? That's Nonsense!," you may say...well allow me to prove this fact.
Texas has long been renowned for its crazy gun slinging residents, and it's insane love of megomacromachoism. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the average Texan is a modest 5'3" tall. In any case, Texans are, for the most part, completely insane and overly patriotic to the extent that they would go to war for Texas, rather than the United States. It is no secret that Texans place their state on a pedestal above all others, and the whole of the country. Therefore it should be no surprise that Texans should want to form their own country. Now of course the U.S. army would certainly crush any measly opposition it faced if Texas decided to secede from the union, so rather than have some sort of national incident with inbred Texans getting massacred by the Army, the U.S. government came to an "agreement" with Texas.
The conditions of the agreement have been unknown until now. I have conducted an intense and grueling interrogation of a witness who for the purposes of this report will be called "Chuck." During the early 90s Texas passed a bunch of controversial and insane laws allowing such things as the carrying of a concealed weapon in public. The U.S. senate, having realized a long time before Davy Crockett that Texas was a "lost cause", decided that something had to be done in order to prevent other states from blatantly abusing the constitution. The final solution was do "deannex" Texas into Mexico, and allow Texas to set up an independent government.
Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well it's all true, in 1993 under hidden executive order 3967OEO, Texas lost it's statehood and became an independent nation. Texans were never told of the order, but continue to pass crazy and insane laws, now without the threat of the Supreme Court overturning them. Here are some other facts about Texas Law, and the way things are in Texas.
1) "It is hereby declared that the swearing upon of any barnyard animal or woodland creature shall be a state offense punishable by a minimum 50 dollar fine and/or 5 whacks of the vermin paddle."
2) "It is unlawful for Non Texas residents to enter Texas and swear on barnyard animals for the sole purpose of being forced to bear the 5 whacks from the vermin paddle."
3) The vermin paddle is pictured (left) as punishment it is shoved up a convicts rectum in a sudden and violent motion.
4) "All these here youngins be made to learn themselves some grammer and spellings and the likes, by being forced to go to a learning station or workings on the farms with their pa's." This article is tied back to the founder of texas "John Texas" A renowned inbred poet and politician as well as a fierce pitch fork throwing champion. One of his most famous poems "I bes John Texas" is set to be engraved on Texan License Plates in the future.
5) "Texans shall be allowed to vote themselves a pressedunt"
6) Chuck Norris is the recognized Pressedunt of Texas, he is also believed by Texans to be a God.
7) Upon entering Texas, instead of seeing "Texas Welcomes you!" signs, or something of the like, there are just statues of Chuck Norris miles of them. They are about 20-23 feet talll. The locals compare these statues to the ones on Easter Island, because no one knows where any of the strange and yet mystical statues came from.
8) It took 40,000 tons of stone and 800,000 mexicans to construct all of the "Norris Monuments".
9) Chuck Norris has never actually been in Texas.
10) The average Texans I.Q. is around 54, about that of a gibbon monkey.
The Proposal for Texas
Chuck Norris will be bought off by the U.S. government and paid to film a new movie called "Walker: Bloody Texas Rampage," in which Norris will randomly kill Texans in the streets of Texas' major cities. After Norris has publicly defamed himself he will be shot dead at the conclusion of the film, this will be done in order to enrage the Texans, since they will see it as a form of deicide. Also, the Army and Air Force will destroy the famous Norris monuments pictured above, thus further provoking the Texans to attack the U.S. Once the Texan attack begins the U.S. will have a solid reason to publicly admit Texas has renounced it's statehood. Texas will be invaded and anyone who resists will be killed, thus "cleansing" the state. Should any part of this plan fail, Texas will be bombed with Nuclear warheads and "deannexed" into Mexico.
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:26 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:26 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:27 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:27 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
then finally someone else.
ohh so stupid. ohh so young.
dam()
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:26 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:27 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:27 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
K-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
L-Sunday, February 25, 2001 10:28 PM
then finally someone else.
ohh so stupid. ohh so young.
dam()
DAM --
we were ressurecting this series of excellent posts from way back august in 2000... thats why they are right in a row..
of course, originally each post was about 10 min after the other, and took quite quite a while to get done entirely.
as for 'ohh so stupid, ohh so young,' you obviosuly don't appreciate fine works of art.
lordmo
we were ressurecting this series of excellent posts from way back august in 2000... thats why they are right in a row..
of course, originally each post was about 10 min after the other, and took quite quite a while to get done entirely.
as for 'ohh so stupid, ohh so young,' you obviosuly don't appreciate fine works of art.
lordmo
Texans don't recognize the existance of Alaska.
Texans also don't really watch "Walker, Texas Ranger", we're too busy beating the crap out of smart-mouthed yankees. ;-)
Texans also don't really watch "Walker, Texas Ranger", we're too busy beating the crap out of smart-mouthed yankees. ;-)
This is the silliest thread I've seen in a long time! It's really funny how one guy can log into 2 accounts and post all of that by himself. 
That being said, I'm not a strong advocate of Texas, even though I live here I'm relatively new to the state, however, if Texas WAS it's own country, it would have the 11th strongest economy in the world. Little known interesting fact.
dm
That being said, I'm not a strong advocate of Texas, even though I live here I'm relatively new to the state, however, if Texas WAS it's own country, it would have the 11th strongest economy in the world. Little known interesting fact.
dm
Well I like this thread - very entertaining read that made me chuckle. Much better than another "Wher does yu likez too Pee-pee VOTE INT E POOLL!!!" thread.
oh STFU youre from alberta canada...
got a prob with my state? im originally from NY, i hate the astros...i like the knicks, yanks, mets
but still got a prob with my HOME, come down here, and me and the rest of the "800,000 monumenting building mexicans, or vato locos" or whatever you called them will teach you a lesson or two, trust me we can outsmart you from the post you put you have the iq of about 1.7,learn to grow up, something your imbreeding mother couldnt teach you if i nailed a trout to a two by four and slapped her til her nose was next to her one boob.
and if anything is worthless its the ground you walk on cause it raised such a pair of ingrates like you two...or one...or maybe you two are lovers, who knows...
go darryl strawberry.
got a prob with my state? im originally from NY, i hate the astros...i like the knicks, yanks, mets
but still got a prob with my HOME, come down here, and me and the rest of the "800,000 monumenting building mexicans, or vato locos" or whatever you called them will teach you a lesson or two, trust me we can outsmart you from the post you put you have the iq of about 1.7,learn to grow up, something your imbreeding mother couldnt teach you if i nailed a trout to a two by four and slapped her til her nose was next to her one boob.
and if anything is worthless its the ground you walk on cause it raised such a pair of ingrates like you two...or one...or maybe you two are lovers, who knows...
go darryl strawberry.
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