Disabling pci slots?

[Wadded Beef]

Howdy!

Weird question but here goes... My friend's grandpa insists on buying a computer but we CANNOT have him connect to the internet since he's not quite "all there" anymore and there is a big chance he will gamble his millions of dollars away on internet poker or something worse...lol.
Is there a way to disable or even destroy just the extra pci slots and integrated lan port? We need the rest of the computer to work normally. I was thinking maybe we could fill the slots with some kind of material like caulking glue or silica gel?? Should we also destroy the firewire ports (if it has them)? I know he wouldn't know how to do himself it but he might call one of his neighbor's grandkids to set him up for the internet. Ideally we want to be discreet as possible about this, the plan is that we visit his house when he gets the computer, then we secretly "fix" his pc while he's in the bathroom (for like 10 minutes lol...) All he would use the computer for is typing and playing that pinball game that comes with the os. Any ideas/comments/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!

thank you guys!

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Give him one as a gift. An old one. One that doesn't have an modem or NIC. Bolt the case shut and lock it. Disable USB in the BIOS and password it.

- M4H

 

[Armitage]

A shot of epoxy, hot glue, silicone caulk, etc. ought to do it. Anything non-conductive I'd guess.
But you've got bigger problems then just keeping gramps off the internet. If you think he'd be prone to gamble away the family fortune, you should really have somebody appointed as a legal guardien with power of attorney, oversight of financial matters, etc. I'm sure there is a specific legal term for it. He could just as easily get taken by junk mail or phone scams, even aquaintences. Lot's of slimeballs prey on the elderly.

 

[Peter]

... and then he'll connect a USB modem, and off he'll go.

Give him a real operating system (i.e. Linux, or a non-home version of Windows XP) and restrict his access rights so he can't dial out or install drivers for whatever new hardware.

 

[beer]

I second the idea of not preventing him from adding hardware but give him WinXP Pro and create him as a user that can't add/remove hardware. There's no way of overcoming that really.

 

[sao123]

Dont count on having any warranty period.

Why not just install firewalls and parental filters which would prevent him from going to "bad" sites.

 

[VirtualLarry]

That's like, too cruel for words, or something. Why not get him an XBox instead, and install a modchip, a bigger HD, and get the MAME emulator for Xbox, and a bunch of games, and let him spend hours with that? Get him addicted to Sexy Reaction Pachinko or something.

But if you are really bent on disabling features of the PC, you could always mod the BIOS. You need to use the appropriate flash util to extract the BIOS, then use an OEM util to "adjust" it (enable/disable internal customization features), and then find some way to re-flash it into his system. Much more effective, and less messy/less obvious, than filling his PCI slots with silly-putty (or whatever).

 

[Matthias99]

All he would use the computer for is typing and playing that pinball game that comes with the os. Any ideas/comments/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!

Get him a typewriter/word processor and a pinball machine? It doesn't sound like he needs a full-blown computer.

As suggested above, the *real* solution here is probably to have a family member who *is* "all there" get power of attorney for him, so that he can't blow all his money gambling on the Internet. Or talk him into putting most of his money into an account that is managed/owned by someone else (so he can't get at it easily). Then you don't have to be treating him like a caged animal.

 

[Wadded Beef]

thanks guys
come to think of it the caulking gun was a pretty hair brained idea, hehe...
i think we'll just get a pc and lock it up, and disable the ports thru the bios and/or in windows, then get him a really nice monitor. and load it up with vegas games n stuff. The power of attorney thing sounds good to me too, I'm suprised they haven't done that already...