I was offered a job across the state from where I currently live. My parents are our neighbors which had it's good and bad obviously. If we needed a babysitter, who better to watch the kids than my mother and father. Both gracious people who love our daughters.
Living so close was bad because we were often judged closely by them since we lived across the street. My oldest daughter(5) was always at my parents. She was spoiled rotten as well, and there were many a day when there were arguments over where she should stay the night. We felt we were losing our daughter since she was living with my parents basically for 3 years. I would say she was at their house 3/4 of the time.
We both worked 1.5 hours away from home, and my parents were living comfortably where my mother did not have to work and always watched the oldest for us. Our youngest wasn't born yet. THey grew very attached to each other and my parents always thought they had the right to tell us how to parent. We would stick to our rules at home....no sweets before supper, yada yada yada...just the basic things that "most" parents adhere to. When she was at my parents, ice cream sometimes was supper. They spoiled her so much she could have literally anything she wanted and would never be hungry for meals.
This grew old very quick and animosity was brewing.
Call it good luck or whatever, but I was contacted(I didn't apply) for a job that offered me a pay increase of 20,000 per year. The cost of living is identical to where we live now, so it was a no brainer that it would be the best option for us as a family. We made good money, but we were always short of cash after bills. This will offer us a chance to provide for our girls how we want to.
My parents are obviously upset. I am now selfish since "money isn't everything" and that we are taking their grandaughter away from them. Also note that we will be less than 3 hours away. And in Iowa, 3 hours is not far when we have to drive 1.5 hour to get to ANYWHERE. I don't mind coming back on the weekends often to let them spend the weekend.
They say I am selfish for taking the job...I say they are selfish for not supporting our decision and letting us grow up and be a family. My parents have always been there to bail us out when we needed it, and I think that is one of the biggest reasons they are upset. They know that they won't have leverage on me if I don't live close.
Am I wrong to think that it's ok to take this position because it's an IT job that I WANT to do(programming, databse work) and I think it is best for our family.
I think I need to look out for ourselves first and foremost, rather than my parents feelings.
Am I wrong? Sorry this is so long!
Living so close was bad because we were often judged closely by them since we lived across the street. My oldest daughter(5) was always at my parents. She was spoiled rotten as well, and there were many a day when there were arguments over where she should stay the night. We felt we were losing our daughter since she was living with my parents basically for 3 years. I would say she was at their house 3/4 of the time.
We both worked 1.5 hours away from home, and my parents were living comfortably where my mother did not have to work and always watched the oldest for us. Our youngest wasn't born yet. THey grew very attached to each other and my parents always thought they had the right to tell us how to parent. We would stick to our rules at home....no sweets before supper, yada yada yada...just the basic things that "most" parents adhere to. When she was at my parents, ice cream sometimes was supper. They spoiled her so much she could have literally anything she wanted and would never be hungry for meals.
This grew old very quick and animosity was brewing.
Call it good luck or whatever, but I was contacted(I didn't apply) for a job that offered me a pay increase of 20,000 per year. The cost of living is identical to where we live now, so it was a no brainer that it would be the best option for us as a family. We made good money, but we were always short of cash after bills. This will offer us a chance to provide for our girls how we want to.
My parents are obviously upset. I am now selfish since "money isn't everything" and that we are taking their grandaughter away from them. Also note that we will be less than 3 hours away. And in Iowa, 3 hours is not far when we have to drive 1.5 hour to get to ANYWHERE. I don't mind coming back on the weekends often to let them spend the weekend.
They say I am selfish for taking the job...I say they are selfish for not supporting our decision and letting us grow up and be a family. My parents have always been there to bail us out when we needed it, and I think that is one of the biggest reasons they are upset. They know that they won't have leverage on me if I don't live close.
Am I wrong to think that it's ok to take this position because it's an IT job that I WANT to do(programming, databse work) and I think it is best for our family.
I think I need to look out for ourselves first and foremost, rather than my parents feelings.
Am I wrong? Sorry this is so long!
