Did something happen to this girl when she was younger?

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IHateMyJob2004

IHateMyJob2004

Lifer
Sep 29, 2004
18,656
68
91
Semi-rant....

This is really eating me right now so I'm posting.

My wife's sister, Carrie, is now 26. At 20 or so, she ended a relationship with someone whom I never met but my understanding is that hte family didn't like him at all. My wife saw him making out with another girl at a party once and that was the beginning of the end. But this is where it starts to get disturbing. She started dating the jerks friend, Ben. Ben.... He is awesome and everyone loves him and he's great. He really became part of the family.

Now the part that pisses me off. After 6 years. she just ups and dumps him and once again is dating someone else right off the bat. Right off of a 6 year relationship. The new guy, Marcos, is OK. But in my mind, just OK. Nothing better than Ben. That's really immaterial though. After a 6 year relationship, she jsut starts a new relatioship like it's no big deal. Oh....marcos is a 28 year old divorce and HER BOSS.

It seams she can't be on her own. She really doesn't know herself as far as I am concerned.

Now to back track.... in high school, my wife says that Carrie was the type to sneak out at night and meet her boyfriend. The disturbing part is that I think she was 15 or 16 when this was going on and the guy was 18 or 19. Big difference.

Now, I hate to say it, but I am convinced something happened when she was younger. I honestly think in the past 10 years she must have not gone more than several weeks between relationships. And it's not like she breaks up then finds someone. The transition from "the jerk" to Ben to Marcos was seemless. She already had hte next guy lined up before leaving the previous.

Oh, and I am so pissed off over her leaving Ben, I am going to ask why and uhss and duhsss don't count with me. It seems like she was having fun with Marcos as a friend at work and she fell out of love with Ben over time and enjoyed the company of this new guy. And seeing how her parents are more concerned with being Carrie's friend than her parents, I think I'll be the a-hole on this one and confront her and tell her how I feal and what people are saying behind her back.

Oh, and I've already decided she WILL NEVER BABY SIT MY BABY! Regardless of what my wife might think.

Thoughts? Any opinion on if something happened in her early days based on her apparent dependence for eacceptance by the opposite sex?

---- no pics

Cliff Notes:
Wife's sister left boyfriend at age 20 for new guy. No break in between...was even the other guys best friend. Afte 6 year relationship, she dumps someone everyone loves. Starts new relationship with her divorced boss one minute later. Also was dating 18 yea old when 14 or 15 and snuck out of house to see him. I'm convinced she haad something happen to her. Thoughts?

EDIT: I'm sure I missed details. Will iron out in responses....
 
L

Landroval

Platinum Member
Feb 5, 2005
2,275
0
0
Well if she was not into him (or continuing the relationship), not sure that it matters that everyone else loves him. It does seem like she is one of those people that is relationship-dependent, but that seems all too common sadly. What part of what she does makes her unfit to babysit?
 
IHateMyJob2004

IHateMyJob2004

Lifer
Sep 29, 2004
18,656
68
91
Originally posted by: Landroval
Well if she was not into him (or continuing the relationship), not sure that it matters that everyone else loves him. It does seem like she is one of those people that is relationship-dependent, but that seems all too common sadly. What part of what she does makes her unfit to babysit?
Click to expand...

I guess she is just one of those people. But I am convinced that this is not normal and something has to have happened to anyone that is like this. it's incredible though. Just throwing out 6 years.... she's throwing Ben out like and old deck of playing cards. I guess I should add that I really don't see what she sees in Marcos that is so great? He's funny, but that's about it. AS far as brains go, he is nothing compared to Ben. She dumped really well rounded for moments of wit.

As for babysitting? Out of spite mostly. I probably won't go that route. Thanks for the slap though. I have to think about my logic a bit more on the babysitting thing.
 
IHateMyJob2004

IHateMyJob2004

Lifer
Sep 29, 2004
18,656
68
91
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
my thoughts? concern yourself more with your wife and less on speculating on the romantic life of your sister in law.
Click to expand...

When you marry someone, you mrry the family and if you really love someone it's normal to show concern.
 
Geekbabe

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
my thoughts? concern yourself more with your wife and less on speculating on the romantic life of your sister in law.
Click to expand...

When you marry someone, you mrry the family and if you really love someone it's normal to show concern.
Click to expand...

You cannot possibly be privy to all the details of her failed relationship,it's not important that you and the rest of the family loved Ben, it's important that she did and obviously it wasn't meant to be.You've got no business "confronting" her about anything.
 
L

Landroval

Platinum Member
Feb 5, 2005
2,275
0
0
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: Landroval
Well if she was not into him (or continuing the relationship), not sure that it matters that everyone else loves him. It does seem like she is one of those people that is relationship-dependent, but that seems all too common sadly. What part of what she does makes her unfit to babysit?
Click to expand...

I guess she is just one of those people. But I am convinced that this is not normal and something has to have happened to anyone that is like this. it's incredible though. Just throwing out 6 years.... she's throwing Ben out like and old deck of playing cards. I guess I should add that I really don't see what she sees in Marcos that is so great? He's funny, but that's about it. AS far as brains go, he is nothing compared to Ben. She dumped really well rounded for moments of wit.

As for babysitting? Out of spite mostly. I probably won't go that route. Thanks for the slap though. I have to think about my logic a bit more on the babysitting thing.
Click to expand...


As far as who she dates... why on earth would she choose other people's perceptions over her own. Maybe she is just not into him or has decided it's not for the long term :p
 
Rock Hydra

Rock Hydra

Diamond Member
Dec 13, 2004
6,466
1
0
Yeah, don't worry about what she's doing. Her relationships aren't anyone's business but hers.
 
Red Dawn

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Semi-rant....

This is really eating me right now so I'm posting.

My wife's sister, Carrie, is now 26. At 20 or so, she ended a relationship with someone whom I never met but my understanding is that hte family didn't like him at all. My wife saw him making out with another girl at a party once and that was the beginning of the end. But this is where it starts to get disturbing. She started dating the jerks friend, Ben. Ben.... He is awesome and everyone loves him and he's great. He really became part of the family.

Now the part that pisses me off. After 6 years. she just ups and dumps him and once again is dating someone else right off the bat. Right off of a 6 year relationship. The new guy, Marcos, is OK. But in my mind, just OK. Nothing better than Ben. That's really immaterial though. After a 6 year relationship, she jsut starts a new relatioship like it's no big deal. Oh....marcos is a 28 year old divorce and HER BOSS.

It seams she can't be on her own. She really doesn't know herself as far as I am concerned.

Now to back track.... in high school, my wife says that Carrie was the type to sneak out at night and meet her boyfriend. The disturbing part is that I think she was 15 or 16 when this was going on and the guy was 18 or 19. Big difference.

Now, I hate to say it, but I am convinced something happened when she was younger. I honestly think in the past 10 years she must have not gone more than several weeks between relationships. And it's not like she breaks up then finds someone. The transition from "the jerk" to Ben to Marcos was seemless. She already had hte next guy lined up before leaving the previous.

Oh, and I am so pissed off over her leaving Ben, I am going to ask why and uhss and duhsss don't count with me. It seems like she was having fun with Marcos as a friend at work and she fell out of love with Ben over time and enjoyed the company of this new guy. And seeing how her parents are more concerned with being Carrie's friend than her parents, I think I'll be the a-hole on this one and confront her and tell her how I feal and what people are saying behind her back.

Oh, and I've already decided she WILL NEVER BABY SIT MY BABY! Regardless of what my wife might think.

Thoughts? Any opinion on if something happened in her early days based on her apparent dependence for eacceptance by the opposite sex?

---- no pics

Cliff Notes:
Wife's sister left boyfriend at age 20 for new guy. No break in between...was even the other guys best friend. Afte 6 year relationship, she dumps someone everyone loves. Starts new relationship with her divorced boss one minute later. Also was dating 18 yea old when 14 or 15 and snuck out of house to see him. I'm convinced she haad something happen to her. Thoughts?

EDIT: I'm sure I missed details. Will iron out in responses....
Click to expand...
If you like Ben so much why don't you ask him out?

 
O

Ornery

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
20,022
17
81
Women are, for the most part, IRRATIONAL! You must not have been married very long or you'd know this!
 
C

cressida

Platinum Member
Sep 10, 2000
2,840
5
81
Girls bounce around relationships all the time. I remember back in highschool, my first girlfriend and I were together for a week then she dumped my ass for someone else. Years later, someone told me that she gained like 70lbs and had been with about 20 guys in college.
 
S

sandmanwake

Golden Member
Feb 29, 2000
1,494
0
0
1) It sounds like you're in love with Ben.

2) Maybe things weren't going well with her relationship with Ben and she just didn't feel the need to air her relationship problems out where everyone could see it and that's why it's such a shocker to you when she broke it off. It may appear to you that she broke it off so suddenly when there could have been a problem for a while.

3) It sounds like you're in love with Ben.

4) Even if she is one of these girls who must be in a relationship because she's afraid of being alone, it's going to cause you more grief to get involved than just minding your own business. Good thing rarely comes from trying to help others with how they live their life. That said, it's none of my business either if you choose to say anything to your sister in law, so go ahead if that's what you want.

5) It sounds like you're in love with Ben.
 
K

kobymu

Senior member
Mar 21, 2005
576
0
0
if you really care about her then dont judge her :( , instead, try to be more understanding, try talking to her more often, get to know her better.

it is important that you understand that the best thing you can do for her is to be there, and let her know that she always have you as a friend.

and if you have some (bad) opinion about her actions, than make an effort to convey them in a constructive way.

people are very hard to understand, some people can berly calculate their own action let alonethe action of others, at the and of the day she is only trying to be happy (no matter how much her action are counter productive).

 
J

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
2
0
Mind your own business... oh, and get a hobby, something besides worrying about your sister-in-law and falling in love with her boyfriends.
 
sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
106
Sounds like the Carrie I dumped in 1996-97... but you dont live in SW PA... do you...
 
7

79Blazer

Golden Member
Nov 12, 2003
1,037
0
0
Mind your own buisiness. Quit sticking your nose where it don't belong. You must have some kind of facination with her, to be so obsessed with her love life.
 
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