LordRaiden
Banned
Here's another gem from my collection of classic humorous emails. 🙂
> " D I A R Y O F A D E E R H U N TER "
>
> T I M E A C T I V I T Y
>
> 0100 Alarm goes off and scares HELL out of me.
> 0200 Hunting partner arrives-dragging me from bed.
> 0230 Throw everything in truck execpt kitchen sink.
> 0300 Leave for DEEP DEEP woods.
> 0315 Drive back home to pick up gun.
> 0330 Drive like hell to get to woods before dawn.
> 0400 Set up camp-- Forgot damm tent.
> 0430 Head for the woods.
> 0605 See 8 deer walking slowly.
> 0606 Take aim and very gently squeeze trigger.
> 0607 "C-L-I-C-K"..... goes the gun.
> 0608 Load gun while seeing dear run fast overhill.
> 0800 Head back to camp.
> 0900 Still looking for camp.
> 1000 Realize I don't know where camp is.
>
> N O O N Fire gun for help.-- Eat wild berries,, Good.
>
> 1215 Run out of bullets... 8 deer return.
> 1220 Very strange feeling in stomach.
> 1230 Realize berries were poison.
> 1245 RESCUED..
> 1255 Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
> 1500 Arrive back at camp.
> 1530 Leave to kill deer.
> 1600 Return to camp for bullets.
> 1601 Load gun -- Leave camp again.
> 1709 Empty gun on squirrel that kept bugging me.
> 1800 Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing in camp.
> 1801 Load gun.
> 1802 Fire gun.
> 1803 One dead pick-up truck.
> 1805 Hunting pardner arrives in camp dragging deer.
> 1806 Repress desire to shoot hunting pardner.
> 1807 Fall into fire.
> 1810 Change clothes-Throw burned clothes into fire.
> 1815 Take truck - Leave hunting pardner and deer in camp.
> 1825 Pick-up boils over -- Hole in block.
> 1826 Start walking.
> 1830 Stumble and fall -- Drop gun in mud.
> 1835 Meet BIG bear.
> 1836 Take careful aim at bear.
> 1837 Fire gun -- Blow up barrel -- Plugged with mud.
> 1838 Mess pants.
> 2100 Bear finally leaves - Wrap gun around big tree.
>
> M I D N I G H T Home at last................
>
> NEXT DAY
>
> Watch football game on television while slowly tearing up hunting
> license into VERY small pieces - placing into envelope to mail to
> Game Department next day with VERY detailed instructions on where
> to place pieces......................................................
> " D I A R Y O F A D E E R H U N TER "
>
> T I M E A C T I V I T Y
>
> 0100 Alarm goes off and scares HELL out of me.
> 0200 Hunting partner arrives-dragging me from bed.
> 0230 Throw everything in truck execpt kitchen sink.
> 0300 Leave for DEEP DEEP woods.
> 0315 Drive back home to pick up gun.
> 0330 Drive like hell to get to woods before dawn.
> 0400 Set up camp-- Forgot damm tent.
> 0430 Head for the woods.
> 0605 See 8 deer walking slowly.
> 0606 Take aim and very gently squeeze trigger.
> 0607 "C-L-I-C-K"..... goes the gun.
> 0608 Load gun while seeing dear run fast overhill.
> 0800 Head back to camp.
> 0900 Still looking for camp.
> 1000 Realize I don't know where camp is.
>
> N O O N Fire gun for help.-- Eat wild berries,, Good.
>
> 1215 Run out of bullets... 8 deer return.
> 1220 Very strange feeling in stomach.
> 1230 Realize berries were poison.
> 1245 RESCUED..
> 1255 Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
> 1500 Arrive back at camp.
> 1530 Leave to kill deer.
> 1600 Return to camp for bullets.
> 1601 Load gun -- Leave camp again.
> 1709 Empty gun on squirrel that kept bugging me.
> 1800 Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing in camp.
> 1801 Load gun.
> 1802 Fire gun.
> 1803 One dead pick-up truck.
> 1805 Hunting pardner arrives in camp dragging deer.
> 1806 Repress desire to shoot hunting pardner.
> 1807 Fall into fire.
> 1810 Change clothes-Throw burned clothes into fire.
> 1815 Take truck - Leave hunting pardner and deer in camp.
> 1825 Pick-up boils over -- Hole in block.
> 1826 Start walking.
> 1830 Stumble and fall -- Drop gun in mud.
> 1835 Meet BIG bear.
> 1836 Take careful aim at bear.
> 1837 Fire gun -- Blow up barrel -- Plugged with mud.
> 1838 Mess pants.
> 2100 Bear finally leaves - Wrap gun around big tree.
>
> M I D N I G H T Home at last................
>
> NEXT DAY
>
> Watch football game on television while slowly tearing up hunting
> license into VERY small pieces - placing into envelope to mail to
> Game Department next day with VERY detailed instructions on where
> to place pieces......................................................
