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Developer on my team QUIT/FIRED

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
If you're at all familiar with my work woes, you know that I've been dealing with a backstabbing, fast-talking, incompetent boob on my team for the past year. If you're not familiar, let's get you up to speed.

We're going to call him Tom, and my boss Bob. I am a Systems Architect with a team of developers reporting to me on a number of .NET projects, both Web and client-based.

Background
Tom was hired directly by Bob because Bob liked the fact that Tom went to the same school and went through the same curriculum as him. Tom was never interviewed by anyone else, let alone tech'ed. I had no say in his hiring.

From day 1, Tom routinely stepped on my toes and the toes of his colleagues because he would take credit for their work to cover up his own incompetence. His resume touted him as a senior-level .NET developer and he has his MBA to complement his C.S. degree. He was a fast-talking snake oil salesman who was good at playing up to the execs, but was extremely "accident prone" when it came to writing code.

Fast Forward to 12/06
My boss is out on a technology demo. A few months prior, I decided to give Tom some dedicated responsibility on a particular project. It was time to expose him. His responsibility was had high visibility but was low impact. It was perfect. If he screwed up, like we knew he would, it wouldn't kill the project but it would be seen by those above me (if an exec knows you worked on a particular feature, they will speak with you directly about it, rather than going to your superior).

Anyway, Tom began taking design direction directly from my boss on this piece. In short, Tom royally fscked it up and when my boss, Bob, confronted him on it, Tom stabbed him in the face with "well you didn't give me a good design".

It's been downhill for him since.

Fortunately for me, that incident pissed my boss off enough that he came to me to discuss Tom. It totally opened the doors for me to bring everything out into the open without sounding like a troublemaker who simply couldn't get the most out of a less-than-ideal employee. Over the course of several weeks, he and I held several hour long meetings to cover "the real Tom", his shortcomings, and how best to neutralize him and prevent him from causing further damage.

I won't go into Tom's actual shortcomings... that can be a whole separate thread (or perhaps a post in this one), but for all intents and purposes, he was dangerous when it came to touching ANYTHING code-wise.

To make matters worse, he routinely lied to cover his ass, and he was finally caught by my boss.

Long story short...
We decided to move him to a VB 6 project to put the squeeze on him. Upon realizing that he had fallen out of the execs' good graces and realizing that his fast talking ways would no longer serve him here, he gave notice. Upon giving notice, my boss told him to exit the building and informed him that his last check would be mailed to him.

Vindication FTW

If anyone is interested in the technical details behind his countless mistakes (some are rather comical), I'd be willing to detail them.
 
For whatever reason I am curious about what mistakes he made.

<---- Junior .NET developer

Hopefully going to get into PMing 😀, but I am curious.

IM?
 
Mistakes

1. First and foremost, he coded like a VB 6 developer. I've found that the most difficult part of finding a good .NET developer is finding someone who either a) successfully adopted OO methodologies while transitioning to .NET, or, better yet; b) never used VB 6.

2. He made no effort to learn our in-house standards and methods. This guy would do insane ****** like passing entire controls as parameters. The best example of this is rather than passing datasets to move data around, he would instead pass the controls the data was bound to. WTF on so many levels.

3. In early efforts to "neutralize" him, I made him the install/upgrade bitch on the team. I no longer had him coding anything. Instead, he was to sit at his desk and upgrade our software at customer sites whenever someone requested. Our upgrade procedure consists of 3 steps: back up config, install, restore config. He ALWAYS forgot to back it up, so he would blow away our customers' configurations ALL THE TIME.

4. When asked "why the fvck did you blow away the customer's config?!", instead of fessing up he would lie. "Oh, VisualStudio must have cached this or that blah blah blah." Are you fvcking kidding me Corky? Is that the best you can do?

5. He would argue with people he was taking direction from. If I wanted XYZ implemented, he would get this perplexed look on his face as if to say "I think that's a stupid idea, but instead of telling you outright, I'm just going to look perplexed as to why you think this is wise". I was there the first time he did that to my boss, and my boss literally told him to wipe the look on his face off or he'd knock it off with a baseball bat.

6. In any given week, it wasn't uncommon for him to have two dentist appointments, one for himself and one for his "wife".

7. He refused to work late. Once the clock hit 5:00, he was GONE NO MATTER WHAT. The irony of that is that the rest of us usually had to stay to try to recover from what he did between 8 and 5. My boss HATES "clock watchers", so this hurt him a LOT. I don't really hate clock watchers, but if you fvck something up, you're the one staying to fix it.

8. His testing methods SUCKED. He would run his code through one ideal set of circumstances, and if it didn't explode in his face, he considered it complete and tested. This has actually been a major problem, because while his responsibilities in our projects have been extremely narrow in scope, he yields more bugs than the rest of my team combined. They're also catastrophic, how-the-fvck-did-you-miss-this bugs.

I'll post more as they come to me.
 
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

Yeah, is this the assclown who went into one about some half-cocked rubbish for ages at a meeting and everyone was like 😕 then the bosses told him to STFU?

See ya! :thumbsup:
 
I too would like to hear about some of the technical mistakes. Are any on thedailywtf.com? 😀 I have many, many stories of my own. Some people simply were not meant to be developers, and I don't care if they have a CS degree or not. It requires a very developed organization of thought that might endure for hours or months, and it's simply not something everyone possesses.
 
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

He liked to 'think outside the box' and 'go after low hanging fruit'. I be he always took care of the 'boiling frogs'.
 
Originally posted by: broon
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

He liked to 'think outside the box' and 'go after low hanging fruit'. I be he always took care of the 'boiling frogs'.

Hey, someone has to triage the action items before they become 'broken windows' and succumb to 'software entropy'. The last thing we want to do is compromise the orthogonality of the codebase.
 
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

YEP!

That's the beauty of this. We didn't really have "office politics" before he got here. Everyone just did their jobs. Once he got here, he ruined my team's dynamic. People were becoming more and more worried about not getting credit for their work, and getting blamed for problems they had no part it. That's how he worked. He took credit for everything he DIDN'T do, and would then start stabbing people in the back when he made mistakes.

One time he checked code in to source control that ended up clearing out a customer's database. When he realized what he had done, instead of telling our DBA, he went above my head and to my boss and said the he (the boss) should look into our DBA's work ethic, because he (Tom) doesn't think he pays close enough attention to his work.

He always underestimated the power of source control, thankfully. It was never difficult catching him in a lie, with ample proof to back it up.

But what was so frustrating, especially in the beginning, was he could talk a good game with people who weren't technically educated. To someone who doesn't know anything about development, he would sound extremely proficient. He loved being the "idea guy".

Finally all that bullshit is OVER.
 
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

YEP!

That's the beauty of this. We didn't really have "office politics" before he got here. Everyone just did their jobs. Once he got here, he ruined my team's dynamic. People were becoming more and more worried about not getting credit for their work, and getting blamed for problems they had no part it. That's how he worked. He took credit for everything he DIDN'T do, and would then start stabbing people in the back when he made mistakes.

Ahh, now I remember this story. I read your thread from some time ago.

I know exactly what you mean. People like that are horrible in a team environment.

 
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Originally posted by: foghorn67
Is this the guy that used big yet meaningless words in meetings. Like the word 'synergy'?

YEP!

That's the beauty of this. We didn't really have "office politics" before he got here. Everyone just did their jobs. Once he got here, he ruined my team's dynamic. People were becoming more and more worried about not getting credit for their work, and getting blamed for problems they had no part it. That's how he worked. He took credit for everything he DIDN'T do, and would then start stabbing people in the back when he made mistakes.

One time he checked code in to source control that ended up clearing out a customer's database. When he realized what he had done, instead of telling our DBA, he went above my head and to my boss and said the he (the boss) should look into our DBA's work ethic, because he (Tom) doesn't think he pays close enough attention to his work.

He always underestimated the power of source control, thankfully. It was never difficult catching him in a lie, with ample proof to back it up.

But what was so frustrating, especially in the beginning, was he could talk a good game with people who weren't technically educated. To someone who doesn't know anything about development, he would sound extremely proficient. He loved being the "idea guy".

Finally all that bullshit is OVER.

Know what's sad? He'll probably sucker another employer into thinking he's god's gift to mankind. He might even get a promotion 🙁
 
Haha 10/10 and a :cookie: for you! I hate working with non-team-players...even if he stunk at his job, he didn't have to make it a point to steal your work and look good in front of your boss for it. I don't mind helping people out who aren't good and want to grow, but when they want to steal your work instead...that just ain't right :Q
 
Originally posted by: Descartes
I too would like to hear about some of the technical mistakes. Are any on thedailywtf.com? 😀 I have many, many stories of my own. Some people simply were not meant to be developers, and I don't care if they have a CS degree or not. It requires a very developed organization of thought that might endure for hours or months, and it's simply not something everyone possesses.

Haha, nice website... never new about it before. I liked the "paid by the line" article 😀
 
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