• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Desperation and depression

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Firstly get a new job, one which you enjoy but where you are rewarded for giving your all, your parents although maybe they legally can impose those rules, shouldnt be making you feel like this, tell them what they are doing to you. Get a girlfriend or at least hang out with female friends even if they are only mates, we all need interaction from the opposite sex.
Take all the bad stuff and turn into motivation like has been said, well it up and use it to get you out of where you are. Maybe get a hobby, get back into unix or try volunteer work. Give you life some meaning and you will soon find you feel better and finally worth something. PM me if you need to chat
 
You say you think it's mostly social - well, try some new social things. You can find things that fit your parental rules.

I highly recommend something like toastmasters, for meeting people withing a structured situation. If nothing else you'll get a few pointers about how to deal with talking to strangers. It's also good for your career, whatever career you intend to go into.

Also I second the volunteering option. It gets you out of yourself for a while.

The car thing is nasty: you pay, but you don't own it? Dude, it's called renting. Get that through your head. Did you check out all the other rental options? Sounds like you have some interesting parents.

If it's any consolation, you're going through what most people go thru when they move back in with the folks after being on their own for a while. You've changed/grown, but the folks haven't. It gives you serious motivation to find out how seriously you want what you think you want. Do you really want to put up with what you're putting up with in order to get the goals you think you want? What other options do you have?

Good luck.
 
Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Originally posted by: shadow
Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech
Originally posted by: Lazee
Originally posted by: kevinthenerd
Originally posted by: illusion88
Masturbate, frequently.
Click to expand...

I know you probably mean that in jest, but I'm going to reply in all seriousness.

I've tried that. It only works for a short period of time, usually until I fall asleep. Then, I wake up alone, missing the image of a person I never had. I also feel guilty. And, not to mention, it wears me out, furthing accelerating the effects of this depression I'm in.
Click to expand...

Too... much... information....
Click to expand...

Way, way T.M.I.
Click to expand...

I'm gonna stick up for KevintheNerd,
.
Click to expand...
Somebody has to as it's obvious that he won't
Click to expand...

What do you mean by that? Just because I'm not an ass to others who make fun of me....

jeeze...

Why go to their level? If they're not mature enough to realize exactly WHY masturbation isn't a good idea, they shouldn't complain about it.
 
Originally posted by: sciencetoy
I highly recommend something like toastmasters, for meeting people withing a structured situation.
Click to expand...
I'm an inactive member of the Knights of Columbus, but I haven't done anything since I was in Saint Leo University. Maybe I should try to get involved with the council in this area. (Rockledge, FL)

Originally posted by: sciencetoy
The car thing is nasty: you pay, but you don't own it? Dude, it's called renting. Get that through your head.
Click to expand...
Presumably, they're going to transfer the title once the payments are done. For now, I need their credit to get the great deal I'm getting.

Originally posted by: sciencetoy
If it's any consolation, you're going through what most people go thru when they move back in with the folks after being on their own for a while. You've changed/grown, but the folks haven't.
Click to expand...

Wow... that's all there is to it, I guess. This is a lot of [crap] to put up with, and I'm really thinking hard about my options. There's GOT to be a way to have it all: a car, a job, a social life, and a college-based future
 
I agree with the last comment. I have the same vehicle arrangement with my father, but after living on my own for a few years, I stayed with them for a few months. That didn't work at all so I can relate exactly. I'd say maybe transfer schools? If it's an option, student loans suck, but if you could take out enough to live on your own, wouldn't that be worth the improved living/life situation? You sounds like a nice guy, and you're only 20 ^_^ Things will pick up. I'm only 23 but things are moving. What it took for me was working 70 hour weeks over a summer and moving from Iowa to Seattle =) I'm having a blast. I need to save up some more money before I finish out my degree, but the small roadblock with regard to school was well worth it. Hang in there! 😀
 
Originally posted by: MrYogi
get a girl
she'll suck your life so much that you won't have time to get depressed
Click to expand...

I really was happier with my girlfriend, but I'd never have time to work full time, go to school full time, and have a girlfriend with still a little something else in my life. Giving up every other little detail (such as sitting down to eat occasionally, or checking my email) just might be worth having a girlfriend, though.

Who knows....


For now, I'm thinking about that rage thing. I'm not an angry person, and I don't want to become an angry person. If I'm mad at work, mad at school, mad at my parents, and mad at my general living situation, what's left? I just might end up being mad at God or something. No. I can live through this in moderation. Sure, school sucks, but school by itself doesn't. Sure, work sucks, but by itself I could probably handle it. Sure, my parents aren't being completely fair, but if I didn't have all this other stress in my life, I could handle it. It's just that I'm being pulled on all sides.

If my parents were cool(er), I could just go shoot pool after work, blow off some steam, and everything would be fine. If my job didn't suck (as bad), I could just go to sleep and shrug off the whole parental situation. If I didn't feel so pressured by school, I could just show up to class as a relief, ready to learn for the sake of learning without worrying about stupid grades. (I can't stand it when people get A's without understanding or caring about the material just because they showed up and did all the busy work. It reminds me of all my friends who have paper-only A+ certifications with no real understanding.


-- Definite sidetrack, but might be worth mentioning --

My friends with paper-only A+ certifications can't remember anything about VESA, MFM, ISA, or anything else more than a month old. Remember your roots, and grab your Hercules 720x348 monochrome cards, your XT keyboards, and your 8088 chips and repeat after me:

10 PRINT "I am a computer historian!"
20 PRINT "I don't just like the latest technology."
30 PRINT "I'm into all kinds of computers, both new and old, slow and fast."
40 PRINT "We're just in a cycle of upgrades."
50 GOTO 40

Edit:

Who remembers these? Who's actually used them? This brings me to serious childhood nostalgia.

video: MCGA, MDA, HGA, CGA, EGA, VGA
hard drives: MFM
floppy: 120k, 360k, 720k, 1.2MB
software: Works for DOS, GWBASIC, QBASIC, BASICA
interface: DOS shell, Norton commander thingy (with the 80x25 text-based folder selection interface)
input: serial mice, 88-key keyboard
 
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down on life. I've dealt with depression for well over twelve years (I'm almost 21) and it has progressively gotten worse since I entered college.

The best thing I can say is three words: seek professional assistance. I have been in counseling therapy for nearly two years now and is it helping? Probably not. But it gives me an outlet to vent before I go back out into the world.

Oh yes, and I wouldn't recommend anti-depressants. If you're anything like me, you'd forget to take them and then you would 'crash.' But if you are desperate they may help - it's for some people and not for others. I am one of the latter.
 
Originally posted by: MadCowDisease
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down on life. I've dealt with depression for well over twelve years (I'm almost 21) and it has progressively gotten worse since I entered college.

The best thing I can say is three words: seek professional assistance. I have been in counseling therapy for nearly two years now and is it helping? Probably not. But it gives me an outlet to vent before I go back out into the world.

Oh yes, and I wouldn't recommend anti-depressants. If you're anything like me, you'd forget to take them and then you would 'crash.' But if you are desperate they may help - it's for some people and not for others. I am one of the latter.
Click to expand...

My best friend from highschool has depression. He forgets to take his medication. He just failed his third semester in a row in college. (So far, I'm doing well in my third, but I failed the second and did ok in the first.)
 
Originally posted by: Howard
...a cuddle buddy...
Click to expand...

That sounds incredibly more appealing than the trashy sound of "friends with benefits." It doesn't imply doing anything wrong. It sounds like it's exactly what I need right now... a female "teddy bear" with whom I can share my life.
 
dude join the club. I just broke up with my girl and she still calls me I love he girl to death bu there will never be anything again.

Oh well. It will all get better. * HOPE*

Keep your chin up

Phil
 
Originally posted by: kevinthenerd
....but I'm still bitched at by incompetant retail managers
Click to expand...

I found out something today that explains EVERYTHING.

The assistant manager who's giving me so much hell is going through a lot of emotional problems right now. She has a guy stalking her. Her best friend's husband is an abusive spouse. She's in a sihtload of debt and might have to file for bankruptcy. She likes a guy who barely knows she's alive. She has guys who like her that she wishes dead.

This makes much more sense to me now, and I honestly feel better after hearing her get this off of her chest today. Yeah, it's a bad excuse, but this totally changes my entire outlook on the work situation.

Between work, school, and parents: One down, two to go!!!


Edit:

Between work, school, girl, and parents: One down, three to go!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top