Decorating for Dating
Luring lovers to your lair with gender-friendly décor
By Lisa Daily
Nearly every guy I know who has decorated his own apartment owns the trio of black leather furniture: the sofa, the loveseat, the recliner. The sofa and loveseat, of course, are always in mint condition.
Women's taste in décor, on the other hand, frequently spans a broader range--from contemporary to country, frou-frou to frill-free, but generally includes an abundance of color-coordinated throw pillows, the obligatory "girls night out" photo collage, and at least one item, stuffed or real, resembling a cat. The only exclusion in a woman's decorating repertoire, of course, would be the previously-mentioned black-leather troika.
As a rule, most guys (at least the straight ones) tend to decorate their homes with things that are either: 1) useful, (coffee table, couch, microwave) 2) free, such as vertical blinds abandoned by a previous renter, or an assortment of man-movie posters bequeathed by the local video store, or, 3) that have some significance to them, like beer signs acquired during the frat years, framed needlepoint stitched by dear old mom, and football/ beer drinking/chess club trophies commemorating the glory years. Women, on the other hand, want things to look nice. Practicality in décor, just as in shoes, generally takes a back seat to aesthetics.
As a dating expert, I've always said the key to guy-friendly décor is a big comfy chair in front of the TV and a six-pack in the fridge. The key to female-friendly décor? A nice clean bathroom, (yes, that means hand towels AND toilet paper!) and no obvious porn. However, the design experts I've consulted say there's a bit more to it than that.
Lisa LaPorta, star of HGTV's hit series Designed to Sell, and former producer/host on Designing for the Sexes says, "The most important room is the first room you see." Which means, if you're a guy, make sure at least the main part of your home is neat and tidy, even if your bedroom is knee-deep in sweaty T-shirts and burger wrappers. If you're a woman trying to make your home more guy-friendly, keep things gender-neutral in the living area, and save the all-out-girly-girl stuff for the bedroom. (Of course, usually men are so thrilled to BE in your bedroom, they won't even care if it's petunias and teddy bears from the ceiling all the way down to the magenta baseboards.)
Jennifer Freitas, style maven and co-founder of Cincinnati's hottest interior design firm, Embellish Design, says the recipe for making men feel comfortable is "high-touch fabrics, a practical but cozy arrangement, and a place to put snacks." (And a six-pack in the fridge...) As for women, other than a sink full of filthy dishes, there's nothing more off-putting than when a guy's living room "looks like a mini-showroom for Circuit City." Her suggestion: "There are multitudes of good looking pieces on the market these days that don't involve wood laminate or smoked glass doors. A beautiful armoire, cool chest or sleek shelving system are simple solutions to store all the gadgets you want, without leaving your home a tangled mess of cords and little black boxes." In other words, if it seems reasonable to spend six grand on a plasma screen, you might want to re-think the "mountain of electronics perched on a milk crate" system. Jennifer adds, "Cord management is key."
Before you invite your guy or girl over for the first time, it's a good idea to sweep out the ghosts of relationships past. Kitty and Jennifer O'Neil, authors of Decorating With Funky Shui: How To Lighten Up, Loosen Up, And Have Fun Decorating Your Home suggest using feng shui to enhance romance and send the right message:
The Funky Shui cleansing ceremony:
1) Remove items that clutter your love energy like pictures of you and past sweethearts.
2) Hide mood-killers like dirty laundry, stuffed animals, and last night's empty wine bottle.
3) Ditch anything that sends a bad vibe such as diet books and self-help books. (Your date doesn't need to see your dog-eared copy of Fear of Commitment or How To Trap a Man Into Marriage.)
Once you're all fung shui'd (or funky shui'd, as the case may be) do a quick check of your place to make sure you haven't committed any date-repelling decorating faux pas.
What guys hate in your apartment:
1. Too many throw pillows. Men fear throw pillows like grim death. Jennifer Freitas suggests editing down the number of pillows on the sofa. "They just make guys nuts."
2. Clutter. Freitas says, "Too many framed photos and tzchotchkes render tables useless. Guys need a place to set drinks and snacks, and to prop up their feet."
3. Stuff that smells funny. "Tone down or get rid of the floral-scented candles and little baskets of potpourri--stick to more gender-neutral scents, such as cinnamon and vanilla."
4. A Pepto Pink and Soft Mint Scheme. Is your living space too feminine, from the frilly curtains to tiny, uncomfortable furniture to tables full of fussy accessories reminiscent of grandma's house? Guys won't feel comfortable if they're worried about knocking something over, or if they have to perch on the sofa between your cat and your antique dolls like an airline passenger wedged in the middle seat between two Sumo wrestlers
What women hate in your apartment:
1. A disgusting bathroom. From those strange little hairs all over the floor, to the seat that's always up, to the ring of splatters around the toilet bowl rim, to the lone scrap of toilet paper clinging on the roll. If the bathroom is that disgusting, we can only imagine the depth of filth the kitchen or your (ugh!) bed sheets might bring.
2. It's too cold. Women generally chill easier than men, and while keeping your air conditioning set at a cool 71 may protect your electronics, it makes us want to run right home (alone) to our flannel jammies. Add to that the extra chill of that leather furniture you love so much, and we're ready to go before we've even had the chance to sit down. The solution? Warm the place up, or at least put a nice chenille throw (a fancy blanket, for the uninitiated) on the back of the couch so we can defrost mid-movie.
3. Movie posters and beer lights. Uh, really, they're not art.
4. There's no food. Ketchup packets and Gatorade don't count. How about some cookies? A bowl of fruit? C'mon!
Quick Fixes when you're Decorating for Dating
The O'Neils suggest, "Men should add a little feminine touch and women should add a little masculine touch--it shows your date that they are welcome in your home and your life." The Decorating with Funky Shui authors say it's easy to make your pad date-friendly:
For Guys:
1) Go Beyond Cleaning Up: And actually do some cleaning. Wipe the toilet and the counter. Make sure there's toilet paper, hand towels and a nice clean bar of soap. And here's a secret for the guys: put a vase of fresh flowers in the bathroom. She'll love it!
2) Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side:
For your living room, add some framed photos of your friends and family; they will make you appear warm and connected. Place a throw on the sofa, it's a good finishing touch. If black and white "Bachelor Chic" is your color scheme, consider getting some throw pillows in sage or red. Think about adding a conversation piece to get the chit-chat flowing. If you love biking, it's okay to leave some bicycling magazines on the coffee table, and a signed baseball is a great conversation starter. Your home décor should reflect your personality (the good parts anyway).
For Gals:
1) Don't decorate your house like a chick flick. Pink ruffles and frills will scare any man off. To take the feminine edge off your décor, consider adding touches of natural wood, like a coffee table tray or magazine rack. For your soft furnishings, avoid florals, if possible. It's okay if you collect dolls or figurines, but maybe the first date is not the time to show it off.
2) Check your Hair (Products). Women should pay special attention to what's visible in the bathroom. A dozen styling gels and special sprays, a basket of make-up, and a huge collection of hair and face appliances make you look HIGH MAINTENANCE! It's okay if you are, but you don't want to reveal your biggest flaws on the first date. Get them interested first!
Decorating for dating is a lot like using good manners: It's not about pretending to be someone you're not. It's about making the other person feel more comfortable.
http://www.lavalife.com/120/guest/main.act
Luring lovers to your lair with gender-friendly décor
By Lisa Daily
Nearly every guy I know who has decorated his own apartment owns the trio of black leather furniture: the sofa, the loveseat, the recliner. The sofa and loveseat, of course, are always in mint condition.
Women's taste in décor, on the other hand, frequently spans a broader range--from contemporary to country, frou-frou to frill-free, but generally includes an abundance of color-coordinated throw pillows, the obligatory "girls night out" photo collage, and at least one item, stuffed or real, resembling a cat. The only exclusion in a woman's decorating repertoire, of course, would be the previously-mentioned black-leather troika.
As a rule, most guys (at least the straight ones) tend to decorate their homes with things that are either: 1) useful, (coffee table, couch, microwave) 2) free, such as vertical blinds abandoned by a previous renter, or an assortment of man-movie posters bequeathed by the local video store, or, 3) that have some significance to them, like beer signs acquired during the frat years, framed needlepoint stitched by dear old mom, and football/ beer drinking/chess club trophies commemorating the glory years. Women, on the other hand, want things to look nice. Practicality in décor, just as in shoes, generally takes a back seat to aesthetics.
As a dating expert, I've always said the key to guy-friendly décor is a big comfy chair in front of the TV and a six-pack in the fridge. The key to female-friendly décor? A nice clean bathroom, (yes, that means hand towels AND toilet paper!) and no obvious porn. However, the design experts I've consulted say there's a bit more to it than that.
Lisa LaPorta, star of HGTV's hit series Designed to Sell, and former producer/host on Designing for the Sexes says, "The most important room is the first room you see." Which means, if you're a guy, make sure at least the main part of your home is neat and tidy, even if your bedroom is knee-deep in sweaty T-shirts and burger wrappers. If you're a woman trying to make your home more guy-friendly, keep things gender-neutral in the living area, and save the all-out-girly-girl stuff for the bedroom. (Of course, usually men are so thrilled to BE in your bedroom, they won't even care if it's petunias and teddy bears from the ceiling all the way down to the magenta baseboards.)
Jennifer Freitas, style maven and co-founder of Cincinnati's hottest interior design firm, Embellish Design, says the recipe for making men feel comfortable is "high-touch fabrics, a practical but cozy arrangement, and a place to put snacks." (And a six-pack in the fridge...) As for women, other than a sink full of filthy dishes, there's nothing more off-putting than when a guy's living room "looks like a mini-showroom for Circuit City." Her suggestion: "There are multitudes of good looking pieces on the market these days that don't involve wood laminate or smoked glass doors. A beautiful armoire, cool chest or sleek shelving system are simple solutions to store all the gadgets you want, without leaving your home a tangled mess of cords and little black boxes." In other words, if it seems reasonable to spend six grand on a plasma screen, you might want to re-think the "mountain of electronics perched on a milk crate" system. Jennifer adds, "Cord management is key."
Before you invite your guy or girl over for the first time, it's a good idea to sweep out the ghosts of relationships past. Kitty and Jennifer O'Neil, authors of Decorating With Funky Shui: How To Lighten Up, Loosen Up, And Have Fun Decorating Your Home suggest using feng shui to enhance romance and send the right message:
The Funky Shui cleansing ceremony:
1) Remove items that clutter your love energy like pictures of you and past sweethearts.
2) Hide mood-killers like dirty laundry, stuffed animals, and last night's empty wine bottle.
3) Ditch anything that sends a bad vibe such as diet books and self-help books. (Your date doesn't need to see your dog-eared copy of Fear of Commitment or How To Trap a Man Into Marriage.)
Once you're all fung shui'd (or funky shui'd, as the case may be) do a quick check of your place to make sure you haven't committed any date-repelling decorating faux pas.
What guys hate in your apartment:
1. Too many throw pillows. Men fear throw pillows like grim death. Jennifer Freitas suggests editing down the number of pillows on the sofa. "They just make guys nuts."
2. Clutter. Freitas says, "Too many framed photos and tzchotchkes render tables useless. Guys need a place to set drinks and snacks, and to prop up their feet."
3. Stuff that smells funny. "Tone down or get rid of the floral-scented candles and little baskets of potpourri--stick to more gender-neutral scents, such as cinnamon and vanilla."
4. A Pepto Pink and Soft Mint Scheme. Is your living space too feminine, from the frilly curtains to tiny, uncomfortable furniture to tables full of fussy accessories reminiscent of grandma's house? Guys won't feel comfortable if they're worried about knocking something over, or if they have to perch on the sofa between your cat and your antique dolls like an airline passenger wedged in the middle seat between two Sumo wrestlers
What women hate in your apartment:
1. A disgusting bathroom. From those strange little hairs all over the floor, to the seat that's always up, to the ring of splatters around the toilet bowl rim, to the lone scrap of toilet paper clinging on the roll. If the bathroom is that disgusting, we can only imagine the depth of filth the kitchen or your (ugh!) bed sheets might bring.
2. It's too cold. Women generally chill easier than men, and while keeping your air conditioning set at a cool 71 may protect your electronics, it makes us want to run right home (alone) to our flannel jammies. Add to that the extra chill of that leather furniture you love so much, and we're ready to go before we've even had the chance to sit down. The solution? Warm the place up, or at least put a nice chenille throw (a fancy blanket, for the uninitiated) on the back of the couch so we can defrost mid-movie.
3. Movie posters and beer lights. Uh, really, they're not art.
4. There's no food. Ketchup packets and Gatorade don't count. How about some cookies? A bowl of fruit? C'mon!
Quick Fixes when you're Decorating for Dating
The O'Neils suggest, "Men should add a little feminine touch and women should add a little masculine touch--it shows your date that they are welcome in your home and your life." The Decorating with Funky Shui authors say it's easy to make your pad date-friendly:
For Guys:
1) Go Beyond Cleaning Up: And actually do some cleaning. Wipe the toilet and the counter. Make sure there's toilet paper, hand towels and a nice clean bar of soap. And here's a secret for the guys: put a vase of fresh flowers in the bathroom. She'll love it!
2) Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side:
For your living room, add some framed photos of your friends and family; they will make you appear warm and connected. Place a throw on the sofa, it's a good finishing touch. If black and white "Bachelor Chic" is your color scheme, consider getting some throw pillows in sage or red. Think about adding a conversation piece to get the chit-chat flowing. If you love biking, it's okay to leave some bicycling magazines on the coffee table, and a signed baseball is a great conversation starter. Your home décor should reflect your personality (the good parts anyway).
For Gals:
1) Don't decorate your house like a chick flick. Pink ruffles and frills will scare any man off. To take the feminine edge off your décor, consider adding touches of natural wood, like a coffee table tray or magazine rack. For your soft furnishings, avoid florals, if possible. It's okay if you collect dolls or figurines, but maybe the first date is not the time to show it off.
2) Check your Hair (Products). Women should pay special attention to what's visible in the bathroom. A dozen styling gels and special sprays, a basket of make-up, and a huge collection of hair and face appliances make you look HIGH MAINTENANCE! It's okay if you are, but you don't want to reveal your biggest flaws on the first date. Get them interested first!
Decorating for dating is a lot like using good manners: It's not about pretending to be someone you're not. It's about making the other person feel more comfortable.
http://www.lavalife.com/120/guest/main.act
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