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Dear *girlfriend*

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Originally posted by: MichaelD
Dear "Bambi" <--insert the bitch-label of your S.O.,

It would probably please you if instead of this letter, I enclosed an unlabeled DVD...and when you inserted it into your pink GMac Hello Kitty Powerbook, it was a video of me blowing my brains out with this here 12-ga shotgun.

Right, oh drafty-headed one? (<--she wouldn't understand that at all)

But sorry: You're not worth that at ALL. Yeah, you have made every vapid effort to control my little world; and unfortunately, I've let you...poonanny has a way of doing that to a man. I've let MY plans get put on the shelf in order to accomodate your wishes. Bitch. No more.

Listen up...I'm probably the last guy that will actually TALK to you instead of your titts:

a) I'm just pitiful for continuing to follow you around in spite of your repeated displays of sociopathic, bipolar, indifferent and flat out evil behaivor...most of it directed at me

b) I realize that I'm just freakin' sad for doing "a"

c) You are one sad little bitch. One day, you'll self destruct and hopefully get arrested and the pics will be on The Smoking Gun website...you selfish little fcktardbitchhignoramoushobaglpolsmoker.

d) And yeah, BTW: If it weren't for me covering for you that night (and bailing you out after your DUI) you would have been FIRED from your job, lost the visitation rights to YOUR KIDS (not mine) etc, I bought you breakfast, sobered you up, etc....and THIS is how you thank me?

I hope you get Miss Deaf Texased. :evil:

u alright there man? long time no talk...hope things get better chief
 
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