Dear daughter: Daddy does NOT like waking up at 5:30am

[SunnyD]

You'll get over it. Just wait till she flashes that smile at you, your heart melts and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Then you realize you've just been suckered - for life.

 

[Sentrosi2121]

I just plan on sitting out on our front porch whittling down a piece of wood with a 15" knife. I like knives. Makes it more personal when you slit their bellies and watch their intestines fall out. Yes, it's a mess to clean up, but you don't alert the neighbors at 2am with a tactical incision right below the left lung and an upward thrust.

 

[actuarial]

Someday, when you're old enough to lift your head/crawl, you may understand this general rule promulgated by daddy.

Until then, carry on...

I'm with ya Jeebus. Mine gets up at 1:30 and 5, and I get up for work at 6. After I get up though she goes back to sleep for mom until like 10...little ah heck. I think based on a prior thread our daughters are a few weeks apart in age...mine's 8 weeks tomorrow.

Also, ours came out of the womb able to lift her head, so she's a terror to hold. She has basically no body control, but tons of neck strength, so she'll just be straight upwards, throw her head sideways and the next thing you know she's on her way to the ground head first.

 

[MotF Bane]

I just plan on sitting out on our front porch whittling down a piece of wood with a 15" knife. I like knives. Makes it more personal when you slit their bellies and watch their intestines fall out. Yes, it's a mess to clean up, but you don't alert the neighbors at 2am with a tactical incision right below the left lung and an upward thrust.

And there's something that scares people about knives.

 

[Saint Nick]

If I have a daughter, I'll probably be cool with her boyfriends. It sucks being 17/18 and trying to date a girl whose parents are Nazis. I was a gentlemen with them always. Not so much later girlfriends.

 

[Saint Nick]

I guess I might change my mind when I'm 45.

 

[Jeeebus]

I guess I might change my mind when I'm 45.

you'll change your mind the moment someone tells you "it's a girl."

 

[nanette1985]

Someday, when you're old enough to lift your head/crawl, you may understand this general rule promulgated by daddy.

Until then, carry on...

You'll get over it. Just wait till she flashes that smile at you, your heart melts and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Then you realize you've just been suckered - for life.

you'll change your mind the moment someone tells you "it's a girl."

My oldest daughter didn't sleep much. I called her my 5-year sleep deprivation experiment - until she got really good at entertaining herself alone all night. Somehow we had two more kids during that period, but she was the one keeping us up all for all those years.

Flash forward twenty-odd years. SWEET REVENGE. Her younger kid, the baby, is doing the same thing to her. It is PURE JOY to watch her suffer. It was worth waiting for.

She still flashes that smile. And, those dating years gave us more and worse sleepless nights than the baby ones.

Wishing you the best!

 

[manimal]

I feel your pain guys. My triplets had colic and screamed for 10-18 hours a day for months on end. The wife and I basically took turns sleeping in 2 hour shits for over a year. They were fine for a few months and slept trough the night but were dealing with teething now so its sleepless in our house again.


I was actually diagnosed with post traumatic stress after the last two and a half years with my wife being hospitalized for 8 months of the pregnancy and the subsequent 5 months in the NICU till our munchkins came home. The colic though was brutal....


I mean brutal...imagine three crying babies....for months on end..

 

[MotF Bane]

you'll change your mind the moment someone tells you "it's a girl."

You'll find yourself strangely interested in shotguns, large knives, and your ability to surgically dissect teenage males.

 

[JTsyo]

Ummm... It's still being sold, just bought some last week.

We are at this awesome stage where I give him a bottle and set him in his crib and I don't hear a peep from him until right after I'm done showering in the morning. Works out perfect.

yea, it's allowed to be sold but they don't recommended it for infants.

Webmd

Benzocaine is associated with a rare but serious condition called methemoglobinemia, which greatly reduces the amount of oxygen carried through the bloodstream. In the most severe cases, the condition can be life-threatening.

We were really only using it during the night when he had trouble sleeping. Will need to find an alternative for the next one.

 

[Jeeebus]

You'll find yourself strangely interested in shotguns, large knives, and your ability to surgically dissect teenage males.

after my wife's dad died a couple months ago, her mom and brother were discussing what to do with his collection of guns. I told them 'I don't really have any say, but I would like whatever gun from his collection, in your best judgment, has the best teenage flesh piercing power from about 20 yards away."

 

[Joseph F]

How does one "accidentally" reload a shotgun? :hmm:

You don't, You use a drum magazine. :twisted:

 

[ShawnD1]

My son's teething was probably the worst thing for my sleep. He wouldn't even wake up, just cry in his sleep. And then the FDA had to stop Baby Oralgel from being used on infants. Not sure how we'll get through teething for the next one.

Baby needs cocaine. It's a local anesthetic.

If I have a daughter, I'll probably be cool with her boyfriends. It sucks being 17/18 and trying to date a girl whose parents are Nazis. I was a gentlemen with them always. Not so much later girlfriends.

I'm guessing most men actually want it to be like this. Then she ends up bringing home guys you genuinely don't like. Guys you want to punch in the face even if you didn't have a daughter.

I was actually diagnosed with post traumatic stress after the last two and a half years with my wife being hospitalized for 8 months of the pregnancy and the subsequent 5 months in the NICU till our munchkins came home. The colic though was brutal....

Every parent should be on hardcore drugs. The situation you describe is how shaken baby syndrome happens. Baby pisses you off --> kill baby. Other way is baby pisses you off --> you take drugs --> baby isn't pissing you off as much

 

[manimal]

Every parent should be on hardcore drugs. The situation you describe is how shaken baby syndrome happens. Baby pisses you off --> kill baby. Other way is baby pisses you off --> you take drugs --> baby isn't pissing you off as much

I agree with you to a certain extent. I had not smoked pot for 14 years and I seriously considered it during the madness...

 

[Platypus]

lol kids

 

[vi edit]

I feel your pain guys. My triplets had colic and screamed for 10-18 hours a day for months on end. The wife and I basically took turns sleeping in 2 hour shits for over a year. They were fine for a few months and slept trough the night but were dealing with teething now so its sleepless in our house again.


I was actually diagnosed with post traumatic stress after the last two and a half years with my wife being hospitalized for 8 months of the pregnancy and the subsequent 5 months in the NICU till our munchkins came home. The colic though was brutal....


I mean brutal...imagine three crying babies....for months on end..

Sweet baby jeeebus....that's horrible. Even with one who slept fairly well through the night I'd still wake up randomly thinking I was hearing crying only to have it be the fan or AC or something trixing me. I can't even imagine what you and your poor wife went through. The idea of multiples scares the ever loving poo out of me.

 

[Wyndru]

Last year when our daughter was born, we were required by law to take a SBS course before we brought her home. They basically say if the baby is driving you nuts, put them in their crib (so they are safe, no toys or choking hazards in the crib with them), close the bedroom door, and get away from the sound of them crying until you are completely calm. Our baby doesn't have colic, so I've only had to do that 2 or 3 times. I couldn't imagine a whole day of her screaming though, I think I'd lose it.

 

[ShawnD1]

I agree with you to a certain extent. I had not smoked pot for 14 years and I seriously considered it during the madness...

There's always a happy middle ground. Obviously I'm not saying people should just take heroin until they pass out when their baby starts crying :biggrin:
(yes that does happen, sadly)

 

[Linflas]

If she was my daughter I wouldn't need an alarm clock, 0530 is when I get up M-F anyway.

 

[olds]

<--- Alarm goes off at 4:50 AM.

 

[TwiceOver]

yea, it's allowed to be sold but they don't recommended it for infants.

Webmd


We were really only using it during the night when he had trouble sleeping. Will need to find an alternative for the next one.

Yeah, the "Gubment" also doesn't recommend playing with Lawn Darts but we do that every time I visit my grandparents.

 

[manimal]

Sweet baby jeeebus....that's horrible. Even with one who slept fairly well through the night I'd still wake up randomly thinking I was hearing crying only to have it be the fan or AC or something trixing me. I can't even imagine what you and your poor wife went through. The idea of multiples scares the ever loving poo out of me.

Thx for the kind words Vi. It was the scariest, most rewarding experience. Anecdotally when we found out we were having triplets I had a panic attack...I dont think I am out of it yet lol..

 

[DaTT]

I am also waiting to use this line on any boy my daughter brings home, "Anything you do to my daughter, I do to you". That way they won't kiss, sex, or hit my daughter

 

[actuarial]

Sweet baby jeeebus....

epic.