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David Brooks: "The Real Romney"

Feb 10, 2000
30,033
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David Brooks, the NY Times' longstanding conservative commentator, posted this satirical piece yesterday at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/28/opinion/brooks-the-real-romney.html?hp :

The Real Romney
By DAVID BROOKS


The purpose of the Republican convention is to introduce America to the real Mitt Romney. Fortunately, I have spent hours researching this subject. I can provide you with the definitive biography and a unique look into the Byronic soul of the Republican nominee:

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired.

* * *
It pretty much goes on like that from there.

I post this not because it's a stellar piece of satire. (I think Brooks is a very bright and talented writer, but his forays into comedy leave me wanting.) I mostly just find it demonstrative of the fact that Romney is such an uninspiring figure that the reactions of Republicans to his candidacy seem to range from, on the low end, outright skepticism (as Brooks is exhibiting) to, on the high end, "I think he's fine and will certainly be better than Obama." I can guarantee you Brooks would rather be writing about what a great candidate his party had fielded than lampooning the nominee, but he is obviously not thrilled with Romney.

I know many Republicans, including several who are highly politically active (two of my partners are very active fundraisers for AIPAC and Republican candidates all over the country, and one of my associates is arguably the most conservative member of the state legislature), but I don't know one person who is enthusiastic about Romney. I admittedly live in a fairly liberal state, but we did unleash Michele Bachmann on the world, so it's not as though there is not a significant number of conservatives here. I have not seen a single Romney bumper sticker, and don't even know what they look like. We are now only about 2 months from the election, and there is a complete lack of excitement on the GOP side. It's remarkable to me, particularly given what widespread dislike there is of President Obama among Republicans.

Apparently John Kerry is acting in the role of Romney in President Obama's debate preparation - http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/obama-picks-john-kerry-to-play-romney-in-mock-debate-rehearsals/2012/06/18/gJQABEctlV_story.html . I find it fascinating how much Romney and Kerry have in common (i.e., as unappealing candidates from Massachusetts chosen to run against a fairly unpopular sitting President). I predict this election will end much as 2004 did, albeit probably not as close.
 
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Thump553

Lifer
Jun 2, 2000
11,806
1,123
126
David Brooks has a first rate mind but his skill at spining a story can be quite sophomoric-I point to his book The Social Animal as a prime example of both traits. Apparently his satire skills are even more pedestrian.

OP makes an excellent point though. To me the most interesting aspect of the GOP convention will be seeing how much of the enthusiaism is obviously forced.

By the way I actually did see a RomneyRyan bumper sticker the other day but that was the very first one. I guess I should be looking in the Bentley parking lot.
 

mshan

Diamond Member
Nov 16, 2004
7,869
0
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Tidbits I've read here and there seem to indicate that Romney truly, genuinely feels he is entitled to things such as tax shelters that push the envelope on legality, even by what super rich would consider normal.

I remember seeing PBS documentary on Rockefellers (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/rockefellers/index.html), and he reminds me more of the Brothers generation (e. g. born into 0.01+% David Rockefeller), rather than the original Rockefeller son, who was socially awkward and felt guilty about his family's wealth (lots of philanthropy to repair family name).

Or perhaps by sentiment indicated by paraphrase of quote Barbara Bush supposedly said (there are peers and everyone else is just hired help).

Basically, different rules apply to us and them...
 

Dman8777

Senior member
Mar 28, 2011
423
1
81
I think republicans are unenthusiastic because Romney really isn't that different from Obama. Forget for a moment all that's been said in the past few months and look at what Romney has done in politics. Both of them are centrists with wildly differing backgrounds but mildly differing positions.
 

crashtestdummy

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2010
2,894
0
0
It's funny. The comments below the story (and the posts here) seem to take the column at face value. The satire is not making fun of Romney, but the way we describe him. He takes the long list of descriptions that democrats have tried to pin on him, and lays them in a line. His point is that there is no way you could possibly buy all of them in the aggregate, but that people seem to
accept them individually.

I'm not sure it's one of his better columns, but it's meant to criticize how we describe Romney, not the man himself.
 

yllus

Elite Member & Lifer
Aug 20, 2000
20,583
430
126
Somehow i think Romney might be autistic;just a hunch.
No, just socially stunted as a result of having to pre-process every word that comes out of his mouth, itself as a result of lying all of the time and needing to remember what last he lied about. Really if anything his issue is he isn't a good liar. Plenty of politicians take both sides of an issue; people notice, but they do it so convincingly that we tend to give them a pass.

I think that he'd make a decent president but won't get the win - he'll still come within 2% or so of it, though. Most of his problems come as a result of his party moving more to the right than he personally belongs; he'd have a rough time keeping them happy if elected.
 

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
0
0
Apparently John Kerry is acting in the role of Romney in President Obama's debate preparation...
That's hilarious... and no doubt was done in part to cement the comparison in voters' minds.

I've been comparing Romney to Kerry for months now. The biggest differences are that Obama has a bigger problem to deal with than Bush did (the economy) and Romney is a worse candidate than Kerry was (poor base support, less likable, and tied to Big Business in a way that people dislike about as much as they dislike Big Government.)
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
66,705
3,512
126
Somehow i think Romney might be autistic;just a hunch.
I just see a Mormon, or any other nut case religionists, somebody trained from youth to peddle door to door the most unbelievable crap a person could believe until he or she becomes totally inured and immune to any criticism that might be generated by reality and an outraged public. It probably looks like autism.
 
Feb 10, 2000
30,033
64
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It's funny. The comments below the story (and the posts here) seem to take the column at face value. The satire is not making fun of Romney, but the way we describe him. He takes the long list of descriptions that democrats have tried to pin on him, and lays them in a line. His point is that there is no way you could possibly buy all of them in the aggregate, but that people seem to
accept them individually.

I'm not sure it's one of his better columns, but it's meant to criticize how we describe Romney, not the man himself.
I think he means it both ways (i.e., poking fun at Romney himself, as well as the critiques others have directed at him). Brooks, like George Will, does not seem at all thrilled with Romney.
 

Thump553

Lifer
Jun 2, 2000
11,806
1,123
126
My favorite line from the Brooks piece:

"He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed."

Oh so true.
 

a777pilot

Diamond Member
Apr 26, 2011
4,261
21
81
David Brooks, the NY Times' longstanding conservative commentator, posted this satirical piece yesterday at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/28/opinion/brooks-the-real-romney.html?hp :



It pretty much goes on like that from there.

I post this not because it's a stellar piece of satire. (I think Brooks is a very bright and talented writer, but his forays into comedy leave me wanting.) I mostly just find it demonstrative of the fact that Romney is such an uninspiring figure that the reactions of Republicans to his candidacy seem to range from, on the low end, outright skepticism (as Brooks is exhibiting) to, on the high end, "I think he's fine and will certainly be better than Obama." I can guarantee you Brooks would rather be writing about what a great candidate his party had fielded than lampooning the nominee, but he is obviously not thrilled with Romney.

I know many Republicans, including several who are highly politically active (two of my partners are very active fundraisers for AIPAC and Republican candidates all over the country, and one of my associates is arguably the most conservative member of the state legislature), but I don't know one person who is enthusiastic about Romney. I admittedly live in a fairly liberal state, but we did unleash Michele Bachmann on the world, so it's not as though there is not a significant number of conservatives here. I have not seen a single Romney bumper sticker, and don't even know what they look like. We are now only about 2 months from the election, and there is a complete lack of excitement on the GOP side. It's remarkable to me, particularly given what widespread dislike there is of President Obama among Republicans.

Apparently John Kerry is acting in the role of Romney in President Obama's debate preparation - http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/obama-picks-john-kerry-to-play-romney-in-mock-debate-rehearsals/2012/06/18/gJQABEctlV_story.html . I find it fascinating how much Romney and Kerry have in common (i.e., as unappealing candidates from Massachusetts chosen to run against a fairly unpopular sitting President). I predict this election will end much as 2004 did, albeit probably not as close.
I have a better question than "Who is Mitt Romney?". My question is: Who the fuck is obama? One would think we would know by now, but we don't. Thank you MSM.
 

Anarchist420

Diamond Member
Feb 13, 2010
8,649
0
76
www.facebook.com
Maybe all of this lack of enthusiasm is because Romney wasn't really chosen by voters, he was chosen by the party elites. It's starting to become more and more evident to everyone that dr. Paul was robbed.
 
Feb 10, 2000
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I have a better question than "Who is Mitt Romney?". My question is: Who the fuck is obama? One would think we would know by now, but we don't. Thank you MSM.
In what sense don't we know who the President is? The President has been very open, and generally consistent (with gay marriage and the closure of Gitmo being the most obvious exceptions) about his positions. I know you disagree with them but they are hardly mysterious. I can only assume you are talking about his past, and for that I refer you to his books, which tell his personal story in quite a bit of detail. I don't know if you're implying some shadowy connection to fundamentalist Islam or what - I don't think you're one of those paranoiac morons, but sometimes it's hard to tell. In any case I think you'd have to agree that President Obama is far more of an open book than, say, President George W. Bush, who appears to have spent the lion's share of his energies during his 20s and 30s on beer, hookers and blow, but whose vastly wealthy and powerful family largely kept that part of his life in the dark.
 
Nov 29, 2006
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I have a better question than "Who is Mitt Romney?". My question is: Who the fuck is obama? One would think we would know by now, but we don't. Thank you MSM.
Well apparently there is a movie on Obama done by a conservative that tells all. Maybe you should check it out.

I had no idea a movie was out about Obama until a conservative cousin mentioned seeing it lol
 
Feb 10, 2000
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thraashman

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
10,909
1,057
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cybrsage

Lifer
Nov 17, 2011
13,021
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It's exactly as accurate as the movie Inglorious Basterds is accurate about WWII history. Probably not as fun to watch though. I'm sure flyboy will believe every word of it.
When the bar of what is truth in a documentary is set by Michael Moore, what do you expect?
 
Feb 10, 2000
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When the bar of what is truth in a documentary is set by Michael Moore, what do you expect?
I was actually going to make precisely this comparison, since by all accounts the D'Souza anti-Obama documentaries are, like the Moore films, essentially heavily biased advocacy pieces for their side. While I have not seen Sicko (which was widely praised, including by Fox News of all people), I have never found any of the Moore movies to really constitute "documentaries" in the sense that I would use that word.
 

thraashman

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
10,909
1,057
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When the bar of what is truth in a documentary is set by Michael Moore, what do you expect?
To have others not play limbo with that already low bar and clear it with room to spare. Rise above, step over, don't set a new low.
 

shira

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
9,574
5
81
I have a better question than "Who is Mitt Romney?". My question is: Who the fuck is obama? One would think we would know by now, but we don't. Thank you MSM.
You've made tons of posts criticizing Obama for who he is, what he stands for, what he's done, and what he'll do in his second term. Yet when challenged with a piece that essentially points out what a phoney Romney is, you counter by telling us that we don't know who Obama is?

One might think you're a partisan hack.
 

mshan

Diamond Member
Nov 16, 2004
7,869
0
71
You can't make this stuff up!:



http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/romney-party-yacht-flies-cayman-islands-flag/story?id=17105028#.UD5dqY5k0QL



Opens up another line of attack (self-inflicted wound) about Romney being out of touch and really, truly, genuinely feels a different set of rules apply to him and his billionaire friends (i. e. these types of entitlements, just like tax shelters of questionable legality, are his birthright as part of 0.01+%)

It's like Prince Charles saying I am not going to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress (Camilla), a statement which to me reiterates the sentiment that it is his God given birthright / entitlement because of the social class to which he belongs (born into immense wealth and privilege).

Commentators on tv are, yet again, going to have to contain outright laughter this evening, at Mitt the Twit's political tone deafness...


:rolleyes:
 
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Feb 10, 2000
30,033
64
91
You can't make this stuff up!:



http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/romney-party-yacht-flies-cayman-islands-flag/story?id=17105028#.UD5dqY5k0QL



Opens up another line of attack (self-inflicted wound) about Romney being out of touch and really, truly, genuinely feels a different set of rules apply to him and his billionaire friends (i. e. these types of entitlements, just like tax shelters of questionable legality, are his birthright as part of 0.01+%)

It's like Prince Charles saying I am not going to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress (Camilla), a statement which to me reiterates the sentiment that it is his God given birthright / entitlement because of the social class to which he belongs (born into immense wealth and privilege).

Commentators on tv are, yet again, going to have to contain outright laughter this evening, at Mitt the Twit's political tone deafness...


:rolleyes:
That is funny, though in fairness it's not Romney's yacht, and he presumably had no control over this. In any case it's a reminder of the tax advantages of retaining assets offshore, which is not something that will benefit him among independent voters of finite wealth.
 

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