Dating someone missing an appendage or extremity

[Accipiter22]

I've recently been talking to, and when on a date with a very nice girl; driven, ambitious, can actually hold a conversation, very cute, great body. We had a nice time, and are planning on doing it again this weekend. I noticed on the date that on one of her hands, she has a thumb, and I believe part of her pointer finger, but is completely missing the other 3. She was obviously self-conscious of it, as she kept it hidden under her jacket most of the time. Now I honest to goodness do not care, she was a nice girl, and I had a great time. My question: how do I bring it up, if at all?

I only ask because she knits...and also types almost as fast as me (i'm around 100 w.p.m.), I'd say she's around 75 when we talk online. I'm dying to know how she does it....

 

[notfred]

You're going to have to bring it up eventually. Wait at least a few dates until you're pretty comfortable around one another, and if it still hasn't come up, ask politely.

 

[CrackRabbit]

Give her time, she will let you know what happened when she is ready.

 

[DnetMHZ]

No

No

If you like her and you get along well it shouldn't matter.

 

[ShockwaveVT]

just say "you must have a great story about your hand, I'd love to hear it sometime."

 

[FoBoT]

how she types fast? or how she got them chopped off?

she'll tell you when she is ready

 

[nakedfrog]

Ask her if she used to use a 40mm shell as a paperweight?

 

[JDrake]

She might bring it up when she feels more comfortable with you, before you even get a chance to ask.

 

[MrDudeMan]

please, for the love of all that is good and pure, do not bring it up. imagine how you would feel if the person you were trying to date inquired when you werent ready to discuss it. please do not ask her about it. you already know it is a bad idea to do so or you wouldnt have posted. go with your gut and leave it to her.

 

[mryellow2]

Reminds of a story that my friend told me once. A few friends of his were out bar hopping and one of them started chatting up a girl at the bar. One thing led to another and they ended up going home together. A few days later the guys met up again to eat and tell stories from the night out. Eventually they get around to talking about the guy who got lucky.

"So, how was it **cking a girl with one arm?"

"WHAT?!"

Apparently he was so drunk he didn't notice the girl was missing an appendage.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
please, for the love of all that is good and pure, do not bring it up. imagine how you would feel if the person you were trying to date inquired when you werent ready to discuss it. please do not ask her about it. you already know it is a bad idea to do so or you wouldnt have posted. go with your gut and leave it to her.

Yah....I'd like to know just because I'm curious....but I don't want to offend her

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
please, for the love of all that is good and pure, do not bring it up. imagine how you would feel if the person you were trying to date inquired when you werent ready to discuss it. please do not ask her about it. you already know it is a bad idea to do so or you wouldnt have posted. go with your gut and leave it to her.

if she isn't ready to talk about why is she putting herself in situations where it would be something of great interest?

maybe she wants you to ask to get it out of the way?

 

[ebaycj]

no no ftw

 

[iamwiz82]

Start playing a game of showing your scars to one another.

 

[DaShen]

If you want to, bring it up and make sure she knows that you are cool about it.

If she goes postal about it, it is her issues, but more than likely she will appreciate your willingness to be open about it and not view it as a problem.

 

[BooGiMaN]

when you go pick her up high five her...when she doesnt raise her hand to give you a high five ..ask her why

 

[Rill22]

I had a buddy who dated a girl who had her leg bitten off by a shark. Always said it was strange lying in bed next to someone with one leg, or watching her hop around without her prosthetic on, but good relationship overall.

 

[BigJ]

So I guess you'll be skipping the HJ phase of the relationship?

 

[Kelemvor]

If she seems to be hiding it or uncomfortable, then wait until she brings it up or until she feels more comfortable around her.

 

[Looney]

I'm the type of person to bring it up... especially if they're uncomfortable about it. Just to get it out in the open and get it over with. It'll let her know that you don't care, and she'll hopefully be less conscious about it.

 

[lytalbayre]

I think if you like her and keep asking her out, she'll eventually understand that your cool with it and she will open up. You could also mention it to her if you see her hiding it, and just tell her there's no need to hide it and when she's ready, she can tell you what happened....

 

[franksta]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
Now I honest to goodness do not care, she was a nice girl, and I had a great time. My question: how do I bring it up, if at all?

If this is indeed true, then don't worry about asking. If/When she's comfortable enough with you to bring it up then so be it.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: ShockwaveVT
just say "you must have a great story about your hand, I'd love to hear it sometime."

And after she tells him about how her abusive, alcoholic father cut off her fingers with a blowtorch after trying to molest her, do you think he's get to 3rd base?


:evil:

 

[davestar]

hmmm... how to bring it up...

i'm betting she's already aware that she's missing 3 fingers :thumbsup:

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: davestar
hmmm... how to bring it up...

i'm betting she's already aware that she's missing 3 fingers :thumbsup:

Uhh...

You do realize that you are missing some fingers there, right? I mean, it's pretty obvious to me, but you may have missed it. Anyways, just thought I'd let you know.