Dating and stuff really sucks sometimes

[Robertflay]

Everybody has a woeful tale and this is mine.

I know this girl (let's call her Lisa) and she and I really seem to have a lot in common. You know, stuff like movies, humor, music, etc. When I see her in class, we talk alot and she seems happy to see me. We'll text message each other during class and pass notes and stuff. I can't say that I'm in love with her at this point, just that I'm very fond of her and wouldn't mind going the next step.

Let's mention an important detail: My current girl friend (Let's call her Jenny) knew Lisa before me. We all go to the same college and they met a couple semesters before in another class. They know each other fairly well and get together during lunch and stuff.

After getting to know Lisa, it's apparent that she's a better match for me than Jenny. However, it appears that Lisa likes me "like a brother" and hasn't shown any interest past that. My guess it's because Lisa and Jenny are friends.

So I'm stuck, unable to approach the girl I'm super interested in. This raises the questions:

1.) Do I drop Jenny and go after Lisa?

2.) Will Lisa approve of me dropping Jenny and going after her?

3.) Am I just infatuated with Lisa and not seeing clearly?

4.) How do I find out if it's infatuation or love if I don't spend time with Lisa?

If Lisa and Jenny didn't know each other, things would be a lot easier. Anybody got any good suggestions how to handle this situation?

 

[rival]

have jenny killed

 

[Feldenak]

There's only one solution to this difficult situation and that is...threeway!

 

[db]

Obviously, you need to drop the current g/f, no matter what.
But the problem is, the prospective one will be hesitant since they are friends.
If you don't immediately jump to the new one, but rather give it some weeks, then *maybe* she will feel that it's ok.

 

[kermalou]

it will kill you to death if you dont follow your heart, who knows maybe you guys aren't a perfect match and Jenny will still take you back.,

 

[Robertflay]

What would be a safe cooling off period?

Yes, I know, since we see each other on campus, it gets awkward for me.

 

[Siddhartha]

If you want a friend or a sister then hang out with Lisa. But I would not recommend that you hold your breath for Lisa to start relating to you as potential lover. If you want an intimate relationship start seeing someone else.

 

[Robertflay]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth
If you want a friend or a sister then hang out with Lisa. But I would not recommend that you hold your breath for Lisa to start relating to you as potential lover. If you want an intimate relationship start seeing someone else.

But she's so cute. ARGH!!! :brokenheart:

 

[DaWhim]

stick with jenny

 

[Zorba]

Just remember the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence... ALWAYS.

I broke up with a real good girlfriend once to go after her friend, but as soon as I broke up with my girl, her friend pretty much stopped talking to me (even though she always talked about getting hooked up with me if things with the gf and me went back). A lot of my friends also went through the same crap. Girls are jealous people and when their friend has someone, they want it, but once that friend no longer has it they don't want it.

 

[Robertflay]

I know or at least in my mind I think that she has some interest. If I'm sick or not my usual self with her, she would show concern. Or am I reading this concern incorrectly?

 

[FredFredrickson]

Originally posted by: rival
have jenny killed

My mafioso quote of the week nominee!

 

[TheBoyBlunder]

Listen to Zorba. He knows what he's talking about.

 

[Zorba]

Originally posted by: TheBoyBlunder
Listen to Zorba. He knows what he's talking about.

Hey thanks for the new sig :beer:

 

[Robertflay]

I guess Norm Peterson of Cheers said it best:

"Women. Can't live with 'em....pass the beer nuts."

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: DaWhim
stick with jenny

Makes sense from a selfish "play it safe" point of view, but that's really not fair to Jenny, now, is it? How would you feel if your g/f (if you even have one) was still with you only because someone suggested that she should "play it safe" and not follow her heart?

 

[Zorba]

The question is, do you want to be with Jenny, independent of Lisa? If you are ready to end it with Jenny end it. If you only want to end it with Jenny because you like her friend Lisa, then say with Jenny because there is a 90% chance that if you leave Jenny for Lisa, you'll end up with nothing.

EDIT: Not saying play it safe, just it is easy to become infatuated with someone other than your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you should act on it.

 

[Robertflay]

All I can say at this point is that I feel really good when I'm around Lisa. Not to sound corny or anything, but she seems to brighten my day when I'm with her. I'm at odds with myself because I don't want to hurt Jenny by breaking our relationship for her friend.

It's a no win situation it appears.

 

[thirtythree]

Originally posted by: Robertflay
All I can say at this point is that I feel really good when I'm around Lisa. Not to sound corny or anything, but she seems to brighten my day when I'm with her. I'm at odds with myself because I don't want to hurt Jenny by breaking our relationship for her friend.

It's a no win situation it appears.

wait.. you registered for a computer forum just to make a post about a girl?

 

[TuxDave]

www.yagt.org

I know ATOT is a kind group, but I really like the advice that I'm hearing on that forum. It would be nice if more people were there to offer advice.

 

[Robertflay]

Originally posted by: Deslocke

Originally posted by: Robertflay
All I can say at this point is that I feel really good when I'm around Lisa. Not to sound corny or anything, but she seems to brighten my day when I'm with her. I'm at odds with myself because I don't want to hurt Jenny by breaking our relationship for her friend.

It's a no win situation it appears.

wait.. you registered for a computer forum just to make a post about a girl?

Um, no. I don't want to use my regular nick.

 

[thirtythree]

Originally posted by: Robertflay

Originally posted by: Deslocke

Originally posted by: Robertflay
All I can say at this point is that I feel really good when I'm around Lisa. Not to sound corny or anything, but she seems to brighten my day when I'm with her. I'm at odds with myself because I don't want to hurt Jenny by breaking our relationship for her friend.

It's a no win situation it appears.

wait.. you registered for a computer forum just to make a post about a girl?

Um, no. I don't want to use my regular nick.

I believe that's against the rules but okay.

 

[CraigRT]

i'd say it's a bad idea to ditch a girl and immediately pursue another... but ultimately you have to be happy with whom you are with, and if you aren't, well maybe you should do something about it. if you really think this is acceptable, go for Lisa.

 

[Robertflay]

Originally posted by: Deslocke

Originally posted by: Robertflay

Originally posted by: Deslocke

Originally posted by: Robertflay
All I can say at this point is that I feel really good when I'm around Lisa. Not to sound corny or anything, but she seems to brighten my day when I'm with her. I'm at odds with myself because I don't want to hurt Jenny by breaking our relationship for her friend.

It's a no win situation it appears.

wait.. you registered for a computer forum just to make a post about a girl?

Um, no. I don't want to use my regular nick.

I believe that's against the rules but okay.

I suppose it is against the rules but I was kinda desperate to tell my story. My girl friend knows my nick.