FFactory0x
Diamond Member
First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner. When his 38-caliber
revolver
failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach,
California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only
inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.
2. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
4. An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
5. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer? $15 (If someone points a gun at you and gives you more
money than you took, was a crime committed?)
6. Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. unbeknownst, the liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
7. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
8. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled
the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still
attached
to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the
bumper. They were quickly arrested.
HERE'S A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
had
revolver
failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach,
California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only
inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.
2. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
4. An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
5. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer? $15 (If someone points a gun at you and gives you more
money than you took, was a crime committed?)
6. Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. unbeknownst, the liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
7. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
8. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled
the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still
attached
to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the
bumper. They were quickly arrested.
HERE'S A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
had
