Darwin Award... ouch

Alphathree33

Platinum Member
Dec 1, 2000
2,419
0
0
I know, this is probably a repost but... OUCH...

Based on a bet by the other members of his foursome, Everitt Sanchez
tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez
managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the
machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by
spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus
wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed
his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.
Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a
foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance,
and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open
during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and
remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and
fla
ttened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the
rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new
$300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was
using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for
surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.
 

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
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:Q I don't have balls but I still almost passed out while reading this :Q
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,425
2
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From Snopes:

Origins: This fanciful tale appeared on the Internet in mid October 2001. Although it is often accompanied by the claim that it came from The Orlando Sentinel, readers should not be misled into believing a word of it. No such account appeared in that paper (or any other).

We don't doubt that golfers of either sex do really dumb things or that some fellow somewhere hasn't thought of introducing his genitalia into the mechanism of a ball scrubber. (With an appellation like "ball washer," how could it be otherwise?) However, this particular story about a bet gone wrong and a horrible injury sustained is as fake as the mental "Yee-ouch!" factor it plays upon is real. Few men can read such an account -- fictional or otherwise -- without wincing.
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Hmmmmm, I guess having your ballsack removed would qualify you for a Darwin award because you have technically removed yourself from the genepool, but I always thought you had to die to qualify...

That and it has to be a true story...
 

SaltBoy

Diamond Member
Aug 13, 2001
8,975
10
81
Thanks jjones for posting that... thank the maker it really didn't happen! :Q:Q:Q:Q
 

Nemesis77

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2001
7,329
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Things people say on TV:

US TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,425
2
0
Originally posted by: SaltBoy
Thanks jjones for posting that... thank the maker it really didn't happen! :Q:Q:Q:Q
LOL, yeah, just reading the story makes my huevos crawl up inside to protect themselves. :)

 

diskop

Golden Member
Jul 14, 2001
1,262
0
0
Originally posted by: jjones
From Snopes:

Origins: This fanciful tale appeared on the Internet in mid October 2001. Although it is often accompanied by the claim that it came from The Orlando Sentinel, readers should not be misled into believing a word of it. No such account appeared in that paper (or any other).

We don't doubt that golfers of either sex do really dumb things or that some fellow somewhere hasn't thought of introducing his genitalia into the mechanism of a ball scrubber. (With an appellation like "ball washer," how could it be otherwise?) However, this particular story about a bet gone wrong and a horrible injury sustained is as fake as the mental "Yee-ouch!" factor it plays upon is real. Few men can read such an account -- fictional or otherwise -- without wincing.

Yup. Always check snopes before you think stuff like this is real ;)
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,037
21
81
Originally posted by: Jfur
:Q I don't have balls but I still almost passed out while reading this :Q

If you only knew what it felt like to get kicked in the balls, or get part of your scrotum pinched in your zipper, then your feeling of passing out would have been accompanied by extreme nausea and cramping in your stomach. :frown: