- Nov 20, 2009
- 8,410
- 1,617
- 136
OK, I have been living in my house with the wife for the past >15 years. Within the first five years I had door duty for Halloween, and then I refused. No, it isn't the idea of giving out candy that I find bothersome but the incident of 2005-6 (cannot remember exactly).
While answering the front door for the trick or treat'rs I was presented with five young naughty nurses asking for candy or offering 'treatment'. As I stood there with the Jack o lantern bowl of candy conspicuously covering my manhood spot, I quickly assessed what was before me and then started looking past them for the hidden cameras.
The barely there costumes looked store bought but the white high-heeled pumps and fishnet stockings probably were not part of said costume contents. The bad thing was I recognized two of them from the neighborhood and I had to wonder exactly what they were up to. I declined any offered treatment, pushed the candy at them and shut the door and called my wife--who was still at work.
Later the following morning the wife laughed it off and the two neighbors across the street commented on being visited by nurses of another kind. This was followed by next year with soccer moms dressed as very slutty witches walking around with their kids and holding a flashlight in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
Since those days I have not handed out candy and left the wife to do it. But tonight the wife is working late and I hope I am not going to be tested again. I don't mind the soccer moms, but Jesus keep their teenage daughters away from me. I am only human and I am stating this for the record ahead of tonight.
While answering the front door for the trick or treat'rs I was presented with five young naughty nurses asking for candy or offering 'treatment'. As I stood there with the Jack o lantern bowl of candy conspicuously covering my manhood spot, I quickly assessed what was before me and then started looking past them for the hidden cameras.
The barely there costumes looked store bought but the white high-heeled pumps and fishnet stockings probably were not part of said costume contents. The bad thing was I recognized two of them from the neighborhood and I had to wonder exactly what they were up to. I declined any offered treatment, pushed the candy at them and shut the door and called my wife--who was still at work.
Later the following morning the wife laughed it off and the two neighbors across the street commented on being visited by nurses of another kind. This was followed by next year with soccer moms dressed as very slutty witches walking around with their kids and holding a flashlight in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
Since those days I have not handed out candy and left the wife to do it. But tonight the wife is working late and I hope I am not going to be tested again. I don't mind the soccer moms, but Jesus keep their teenage daughters away from me. I am only human and I am stating this for the record ahead of tonight.
Facebook
Twitter