- Oct 9, 1999
- 19,632
- 38
- 91
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time.
> >
> > I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
> >
> > This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was
> > transcribed from a
> >
> > recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
> >
> > theHelp Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
> > the WordPerfect
> >
> > organization for Termination without Cause."
> >
> > Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
> >
> > (now I know why they record these conversations!):
> >
> > "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?">
> >
> > Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> > went away."
> >
> > Went away?"
> >
> > "They disappeared."
> >
> > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > Nothing."
> >
> > "Nothing?"
> >
> > It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
> >
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> > type."
> >
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
> >
> > "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >
> > I don't know."
> >
> > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
> >
> > cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >
> > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
> > the wall."
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> >
> > cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
> > other cable."
> >
> > Okay, here it is."
> >
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
> > of your computer."
> >
> > "I can't reach."
> >
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> >
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
> > dark."
> >
> > "Dark?"
> >
> > "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> > from the window."
> >
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > "I can't."
> >
> > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > "Because there's a power failure.">
> >
> > "A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
> > now.
> >
> > Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
> > computer came in?"
> >
> > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> > was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> > from."
> >
> > Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > "Tell them you're too fu cking stupid to own a computer."
> >
> > I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
> >
> > This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was
> > transcribed from a
> >
> > recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
> >
> > theHelp Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
> > the WordPerfect
> >
> > organization for Termination without Cause."
> >
> > Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
> >
> > (now I know why they record these conversations!):
> >
> > "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?">
> >
> > Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> > went away."
> >
> > Went away?"
> >
> > "They disappeared."
> >
> > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > Nothing."
> >
> > "Nothing?"
> >
> > It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
> >
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> > type."
> >
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
> >
> > "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >
> > I don't know."
> >
> > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
> >
> > cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >
> > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
> > the wall."
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> >
> > cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
> > other cable."
> >
> > Okay, here it is."
> >
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
> > of your computer."
> >
> > "I can't reach."
> >
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> >
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
> > dark."
> >
> > "Dark?"
> >
> > "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> > from the window."
> >
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > "I can't."
> >
> > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > "Because there's a power failure.">
> >
> > "A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
> > now.
> >
> > Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
> > computer came in?"
> >
> > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> > was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> > from."
> >
> > Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > "Tell them you're too fu cking stupid to own a computer."
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