Critique my extemporaneous recommendation speech (it's supposed to be funny)

[SarcasticDwarf]

I have to give a 2-4 minute speech tommorow reccomending a cassmate for a position. I thought I would make it entertaining:

I. Position
a. You hire for arsonist needs
b. Any job ? big/small
II. My Qualifications
a. Burned mother-in-laws?
b. Neither caught
III. His Qualifications
a. Inconspicuous-no suspicion
b. Doesn?t work for fire dept
c. Socially adept (profile)
d. Advanced education (profile)
IV. Experience
a. Kitchen at 8
b. 1st house at 10

 

[LSUfan]

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
I have to give a 2-4 minute speech tommorow reccomending a cassmate for a position. I thought I would make it entertaining:

I. Position
a. You hire for arsonist needs
b. Any job ? big/small
II. My Qualifications
a. Burned mother-in-laws?
b. Neither caught
III. His Qualifications
a. Inconspicuous-no suspicion
b. Doesn?t work for fire dept
c. Socially adept (profile)
d. Advanced education (profile)
IV. Experience
a. Kitchen at 8
b. 1st house at 10

Whats's a cassmate?

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: LSUfan

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
I have to give a 2-4 minute speech tommorow reccomending a cassmate for a position. I thought I would make it entertaining:

I. Position
a. You hire for arsonist needs
b. Any job ? big/small
II. My Qualifications
a. Burned mother-in-laws?
b. Neither caught
III. His Qualifications
a. Inconspicuous-no suspicion
b. Doesn?t work for fire dept
c. Socially adept (profile)
d. Advanced education (profile)
IV. Experience
a. Kitchen at 8
b. 1st house at 10

Whats's a cassmate?

My f'ing (key b/t k and m) is broken, that's what!!!

Feel free to make suggestions....

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

come on guys, I need help!!

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

anyone? I need another minute's worth of material.

 

[KingNothing]

I thought the idea behind an extemporaneous speech was that you didn't know what the topic was until just before you gave a speech.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: KingNothing
I thought the idea behind an extemporaneous speech was that you didn't know what the topic was until just before you gave a speech.

apparently not in this class.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

come on guys, I can't think of anything!

 

[Adul]

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
come on guys, I can't think of anything!

not like that is new. Your brain has frozen

 

[Orsorum]

Your brain's been eaten by ants, that's what!