Creepy Craigslist Ad
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judasmachine
Diamond Member
- Sep 15, 2002
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HamburgerBoy
Lifer
- Apr 12, 2004
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Here is the text
Priceless Painting - Must sell cheap. - $1
Reply to: sale-239557760@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-24, 11:59PM PST
The painting below tells a story. A story of love, hope and tragedy.
My late girlfriend painted this deer sometime in the 1980s. She created this painstaking work of artistic genius, with the guidance of some strategically placed markings and numbers. She toiled over this work for hours on end, sometimes sprinting off the bus before it stopped, blazing into her bedroom, to continue her work of love.
When we met, she told me of the painting. Years later she still talked about how she adoringly watched the brush glide along the canvas, and how she dreamt of the finished product every night. One day she brought me over to her parents house, where it hung gracefully on the wall above her bed. We stood in awe for what seemed forever, enjoying this art. I was so ready to marry this girl.
One day, while driving on I-5 her head was violently ripped from her body, in an explosive crash when she veered underneath a triple trailer truck, at about 75mph. The roof of her car was sheered off, beheading her, and the back wheels of the trailer smashed over the rest of her car, smashing it flat, and essentially turning her into mush.
The car was then flipped six and a half times down the highway, flinging parts of her and all her belongings all over the interstate. I was about two car lengths behind her, and watched the entire thing unfold in front of me. Although her brains were sprayed out over the highway between Wilsonville and Woodburn, I admit looking back the accident is kind of funny. I bet it would have made a sweet youtube vid.
Anyway, this priceless painting from my dead and now headless girlfriend can be yours. After the accident, I grieved pretty hard, and lost my job. Now I am starving and cannot eat, and the sale of this painting will get me back on my feet. I am only asking $11,000 for this painting.
This is a priceless work of art, with a lot of sentimental value. If you think this painting sucks, you obviously have no appreciation for fine art, and shouldn't even bother contacting me. This panting would look stellar hanging in even the finest of mansions.
I really did not want things to come to this, but here we are, you know how life goes. To whoever buys it, please take care of it, and maybe you'll allow me to come over and look at it once in a while.
Jeremy
Priceless Painting - Must sell cheap. - $1
Reply to: sale-239557760@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-24, 11:59PM PST
The painting below tells a story. A story of love, hope and tragedy.
My late girlfriend painted this deer sometime in the 1980s. She created this painstaking work of artistic genius, with the guidance of some strategically placed markings and numbers. She toiled over this work for hours on end, sometimes sprinting off the bus before it stopped, blazing into her bedroom, to continue her work of love.
When we met, she told me of the painting. Years later she still talked about how she adoringly watched the brush glide along the canvas, and how she dreamt of the finished product every night. One day she brought me over to her parents house, where it hung gracefully on the wall above her bed. We stood in awe for what seemed forever, enjoying this art. I was so ready to marry this girl.
One day, while driving on I-5 her head was violently ripped from her body, in an explosive crash when she veered underneath a triple trailer truck, at about 75mph. The roof of her car was sheered off, beheading her, and the back wheels of the trailer smashed over the rest of her car, smashing it flat, and essentially turning her into mush.
The car was then flipped six and a half times down the highway, flinging parts of her and all her belongings all over the interstate. I was about two car lengths behind her, and watched the entire thing unfold in front of me. Although her brains were sprayed out over the highway between Wilsonville and Woodburn, I admit looking back the accident is kind of funny. I bet it would have made a sweet youtube vid.
Anyway, this priceless painting from my dead and now headless girlfriend can be yours. After the accident, I grieved pretty hard, and lost my job. Now I am starving and cannot eat, and the sale of this painting will get me back on my feet. I am only asking $11,000 for this painting.
This is a priceless work of art, with a lot of sentimental value. If you think this painting sucks, you obviously have no appreciation for fine art, and shouldn't even bother contacting me. This panting would look stellar hanging in even the finest of mansions.
I really did not want things to come to this, but here we are, you know how life goes. To whoever buys it, please take care of it, and maybe you'll allow me to come over and look at it once in a while.
Jeremy
Inspector Jihad
Lifer
- Apr 17, 2005
- 13,465
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