These quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations...
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"Has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times as bad as an ordinary ignoramus."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"Is so dense that light bends around him."
"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"It takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"Has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times as bad as an ordinary ignoramus."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"Is so dense that light bends around him."
"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"It takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
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